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Dylan Jokes

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How do you make Bob Dylan cum really far?

Blow him in the wind

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Dylan was practicing his golf swing in his front yard when he swung a little too hard and sent the ball through his neighbors window. He rang the bell but nobody answered so he opened the door to see an old lamp lying near broken glass and a huge fat Arabian man wearing a turban sitting on the couch

Dylan asked, "Who are you?" The fat man replied, "I am a genie you have freed from that lamp."

Dylan questioned, "Oh man, do I get three wishes?" The genie replied, "Since you freed me by accident you only get two and I get one."

Dylan thought about it and realized what he wanted, "I w...

Dylan Mulvaney walks into a bar...

"Bartender, give me a Bud Light..."
Bartender asks, "Do you want a bottle?"
Mulvaney; "No thanks, I'll take it in the can..."

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"Don't criticise what you can't understand." - Bob Dylan

I fucking hate that quote.

What does it even mean?!

What do Jakob Dylan and Ezra Miller have in common?

They both understand the Perks of being a Wallflower.

SC shooting suspect Dylan Roof has been apprehended.

He was charged with impersonating a police officer.

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NSFW Dylan, a Welsh farmer who'd had a few too many headed to the pub's men's room when nature called.....

While standing at the urinal trough he suddenly had a puzzled look on his face. He quickly finished his business and ran out to speak to the bartender. Leaning in close he whispered to the bartender:

"I know I'm pretty drunk, but I swear I saw a black guy with a white dick in the bathroom! Hu...

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My dick is like a Bob Dylan song

You may not like it but your mother loves it

Bob Dylan misspoke and would like to issue a correction

"It was me you were looking for, babe."

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What do you call it when Bob Dylan sucks your dick in a hurricane?

The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind. The answer is blowing in the wind

The Teacher Asked the Class to Name Something that Ends in -Tor and Eats Things.

Gabe raised his hand first. He said, "Predator."

"Clever answer! They sure eat things!" The teacher told him.

Next, Dylan raised his hand. "Oh! I know! Raptor!"

"You are very smart! Raptors eat many different things," the teacher said.

Then, little Timmy answered. "Vibrat...

Russian roulette is really fun

5/6 of me and my friends say it’s safe. R.I.P. Dylan

One day Eddie Vedder and Bob Dylan got into an argument.

nobody knows why.

"Did you ever lie down on the tracks?"

Not personally. I once knew somebody who did.

"What happened?"

I lost track of him.

Bob Dylan

What do you do if you miss your mother-in-law?

Reload.

(Thanks Bob Dylan via Theme Time Radio Hour)

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You know you're a Minnesotan Abroad if

You get weird looks if you ask for your pizza to be cut into squares.

You've gotten strange looks when you whipped out your Super America fuel card, your TCF Bank debit card, your Dunn Brothers gift card, or White Castle refillable cup at a gas station.

You're the only one in a t-shirt...

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