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Songs Jokes

Some poor children in Victorian London were listening to Christmas songs

They heard that Santa Claus gives coal to children who aren´t on his nice list, and so they commit as many petty crimes as possible to be on his naughty list so as to not die of hypothermia.

TIL that for release in Finland, the original Mortal Kombat had to be censored in an unusual way. Censors were fine with the gore, but insisted the music be replaced with traditional Christian songs.

FINNISH HYMN!!!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why didn't Joe Exotic ever release any Christmas songs?

Because he fucking hates Carols.

Why are Taylor Swift's songs always a hit? (WARNING POKEMON JOKE)

Because swift never misses.

Where does Phil Collins record his songs

The stu-stu-studio

Millennial old folks homes are gonna be awesome!

LAN parties, DnD nights, wheelchair races, having awesome songs from the 2000's as our golden oldies! It'll be great, especially if we can line up our work schedules!

In what order do you play Classical Music Songs?

Bach to Bach.

I write songs about sewing machines

I'm a Singer Songwriter

A Danish person will not be nostalgic about old Beatles songs.

But a Norwegian wood.

At this time of year I love sitting in front of a roaring fire, sipping mulled wine, and listening to Christmas songs until I fall asleep.

That's probably why I lost my job as a firefighter.

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A fancy restaurant is hiring a new pianist

A guy called John comes in and says "Hi there, I'm here about the pianist position."

The manager replies "That's fantastic, do you mind sitting at the piano and showing me what you can do?"

So John sits at the piano and starts to play one of the most beautiful songs the manager has ev...

My dad asked me which Metallica songs I know

I told him I only know one and nothing else matters.

I'm here to do two things: Make love, and sing hit songs from the 80s...

...And I'm all out of love! I'm so lost without you!

Clothes are like Billie Eilish songs

I was really surprised when I found out that a kid made them

My doctor told me to stop singing Frank Sinatra songs as it's bad for my health. But I just wouldn't listen.

And now the end is near.

‘Doctor, I keep spontaneously singing songs by The Who’

‘How long has this been happening?’

‘Ever since I was a young boy…’

A husband and wife are doing a crossword puzzle.

Husband: Programs for mobile devices. 4 letters

Wife: Apps

Husband: Adolescent, 4 letters

Wife: Teen

Husband: Contraction meaning failed to perform, 5 letters

Wife: Didn't

Husband: Take a life, 4 letters

Wife: Kill

Husband: Religious songs, 5 l...

My obsession with Doris Day songs is ruining my social life.

I already lost my friends Kay, Sarah, Sarah.

My wife asked me to get out of the house because I can’t stop singing Christmas songs.

I said, “But Baby, it’s cold outside.”

Someone said that all the songs in Moana are pop songs.

But it is quite clear that "You're Welcome" is a rock song.

Bee Gees songs are useful for first aid. Do chest compressions to the rhythm of Staying Alive.

If the CPR fails, it’s time to sing For Whom The Bell Tolls.

I almost lost my job as a DJ at a country music station

I accidentally played the same three songs for five hours. Fortunately, our listeners didn't seem to notice.

My girlfriend left me cause I couldn’t stop quoting linkin park songs

But in the end, it doesn’t even matter

I'm weirdly turned on by songs with guest performers...

I might have a feat. fetish

How many songs do you need to write if you really want to make some money with them?

Four tunes.

Where do pigs hear their favorite songs?

On the Ham Radio!

Why don't hummingbirds sing songs?



Because they don't know the words.

ABBA songs Ramadan edition

Gimme gimme gimme a naan after midnight

Some crocodiles formed a band that does parody songs.

It's a pun croc band.

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Taylor Swift has 500 songs about blokes leaving her

and 0 songs about blowjobs.

See where I'm going with this?

What kind of songs does Sub-Zero sing at his church in Helsinki?

FINNISH HYMNS!

What kind of bird always forgets the words to songs?

A Hummingbird.

Did you know they sell older rap songs at a discount if you buy two at once?

They call it the Tupac-bundle.

Why don't Elton John songs have a copyright?

You can tell everybody this is your song.

If Elvis only wrote sad songs

He would be known as Elvis Depressly

Meatloaf has produced 3 really great songs but of them, I can only recognise Bat out of Hell and Heaven can wait.

Well 2 out of 3 ain’t bad

When I compose songs on my piano, I play multiple notes at once to make my songs longer.

They're extension chords.

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Every time I see someone posting lyrics of inspirational songs on social media, I get really pissed off.

But I will survive.

I don’t know any songs about rich countries..

I can only *Singapore* one.

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Why doesn't Mike Pence sing Christmas songs?

It might make the Yuletide gay.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

With great enthusiasm and singing a song

Reagan visits the USSR and is amazed by the capital construction he has seen.

Reagan: "How do you manage to build structures like this? Your logistics is shit, you have no technology and people are apathetic."

Gorbachev: "Soviet people built it all with great enthusiasm and while singi...

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