What did the wife name her newborn quintuplets?

Adolf, Rudolph, Get-off, Stay-off and F-off.

There once was a farmer whose five quintuplet teenage daughters were going on dates at the same time.

"As soon as your dates arrive," said the farmer, "I will talk to them personally. If I don't like them, I will shoot them."

Just then, a knock was heard at the door. The farmer answered the door, shotgun in hand. "Who is this?"

"My name's Teddy," said the boy. "I'm going steady with Be...

My mom’s cousin just had quintuplets!

Looks like I’ll have five second-cousins. Too bad she’s an anti-vaxxer, they might turn out to be five-second cousins.

When my wife gave birth to quintuplets it reminded me of an infomercial

But wait there's more

A woman had quintuplets.

Not being a creative type, she named them after her various senses. As the children grew up, they maintained a good relationship; very few other people wouldn't tease them about their names. Naturally, the children excelled in different areas; Touch, for example, was great at History, and Sight was ...

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A redneck went to the hospital

A redneck went to the hospital as his wife was having their babies. Upon arriving, he sat down as the nurse said "congratulations, your wife has had quintuplets, 5 big baby boys."

The redneck said "I am not surprised. I have a penis the size of a chimney." The nurse replied "you might want to...

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A man's wife gave birth while he was on a business trip.

The doctor called and asked, "Did you know you were having quintuplets?"
"I'm not surprised," the man replied, "I've got a dick like a stovepipe!"
"You should probably get it cleaned then," said the doctor, "because they're all black."

One day co-workers Alice and Bob were talking over the water cooler. Soon the conversation turned to Alice's husband Walter and his plans for the future.

"He's up for a promotion, but he's kinda screwed. He'd be moving up from the mail room to a position with some management responsibilities, but he never actually graduated college and that's usually a requirement. They like him though, so there's just one course he has to take and get a good grade i...

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