This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I’ve dated a twin once. People always asked me how I could tell them apart. It was simple. Ashley painted her nails pink

and Michael had a penis.

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A man with a woman’s name.

Whenever I go to Starbucks I always get weird looks whenever I tell them my name. They look at me up and down, trying to figure something out. I think it's my lack of breasts that confuses people.

The other day I went out and got some coffee. The person handing me my coffee looked nervous. ”O...

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"Ashley, I fucked a redditor last night"

"Jeez, how did you know he was a redditor? He gave his username?"

"Nah"

"Then how the fuck do you know he was a redditor?"

"He said I was better than I coconut"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Isn't this whole Ashley Madison hack exactly what their users wanted?

To get fucked by a third party?

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I've been on Ashley Madison for over a year now.

About time I got fucked.

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My wife came back from walking our dog, Ashley.

The dog comes running in and sliding across the floor, and yapping...

I said, “Chill, Crazy Dog”.

Wife says, “She’s not crazy”

I said, “I was talking about the other bitch.”

„Mom, I‘m almost 18 now. Ashley and Nicole always wear the hottest outfits in school and their parents don‘t mind. So please, please can I wear the short black skirt and the cute white top tomorrow?“

„For the last time Robert, no!!!“

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A teacher gave her class

of 11 year olds an assignment: To get their parent to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
Ashley said, 'My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market ...

What is Josh Duggar's second favorite dating website after Ashley-Madison?

Ancestry.com

Geez, there's a lot of people on this Ashley Madison list...

It's a pretty bad state of affairs

Joe goes to prom

Joe has had a crush on Ashley since fourth grade but never said anything. Prom is coming up and she recently broke up with her boyfriend that she'd been dating since freshman year. Joe decided that if he was going to make a move it was now or never. He worked up the courage to go up to Ashley and as...

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Ashley was a sorority girl at a New York college.

During Spring Break, she planned a trip to Texas. She told her sorority sisters that she had three goals: to eat real Texas barbecue, to see a real rodeo, and to have sex with a real cowboy.

When she returned from her trip, she told her sisters all about it. One asked if she had eaten real...

Jared Fogle of Subway told his wife she didn't have to worry about the Ashley Madison leaks...

...he was on Club Penguin.

A friend of mine has two tickets for the 2018 Super bowl.

Both box seats. He paid $2,500 each but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding.  If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place...It's at St Christopher’s Church, in Baldwin at 3pm. Her name is Ashley, she's 5'4", about ...

Dark as charcoal

A mother goes to the kindergarten to pick up her daughter.

She arrives to a nightmarish scene, the whole place is crawling with fireman, emergency vehicles and panicked parents, the kindergarten caught on fire, smoke everywhere.

She runs around frantically calling for her daughter: "Am...

I was looking for a dating website with lots of Christians

So I joined Ashley Madison

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