UPJOKE
nounpersonal pronounadjectiveverbadverbinfinitivegrammarlinguisticsrelative pronounprepositionfunction wordherpossessivethoseforename

What pronouns does a chocolate bar use?

Her/she’s

If Michael Jackson were alive today, what would his pronouns be?

Hee/Hee

I'm coming out as binary.

My pronouns are 00110101 and 10100110.

I identify as an ambulance

My pronouns are wee/woo

Hi, I'm an identity thief.



My pronouns are you/yours.

What are Snoop Dogg's pronouns?

Hizzle/shizzle.

What’s a male Jewish New Zealanders pronouns?

He/Brew

A teacher notices a kid not paying attention, points at him and asks him to name two pronouns

Who? Me?

My wife was fussing at me for using the wrong pronouns with her.

I was like, “Dude...”

A supermarket greeter gets a new job at Asda

About two hours into his first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. He said pleasantly, “Good morning and welcome to Asda. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?’
T...

TEACHER: Today you'll give an example of a pronoun each and form a sentence with it.

JOHN: HER

TEACHER: Ok, your sentence?

JOHN: Give her her book. It's hers.

TEACHER: That's good. Yes who's next?


DAVE: HIM

TEACHER: Your Sentence?

DAVE: Give him him book. It's hims.

I'm a cowboy but my pronouns are

Ye/Haw

“You over there, give me an example of a pronoun.”

“Who, me?”

“Correct. Well done.”

What pronouns do Amber Heard’s lawyers prefer?

Hear/say

Yo mamma so fat, her preferred pronoun is

There

What are Michael Jackson's preferred pronouns?

He/He

What pronouns does a Chicagoan use to identify as non-binary?

Dey or dem

I'm changing my pronouns to "Almond Joy/Mounds"...

...because sometimes you feel like a nut, and sometimes you don't.

What’s a sheep farmer’s pronouns?

She/ar

My wife and I was arguing about which personal pronoun was the best.

I won.

I am tired of keeping track of so many pronouns. Apparently now they have specific pronouns for Russian army....

was/were

What pronouns do serial killers go by?

Man/slaughter

What are the pronouns for someone who identifies as an attack helicopter?

Apache/Apachim

Are there a lot of first-person singular objective pronouns…

…or is it just me?

I had a pretty bad case of food poisoning this week. After a couple of days I decided it was time to update my pronouns.

Her/She/Squirts

A man walks into an LGBTQ centre.

He walks up to the front desk and introduces himself. "Hello, I identify as a chocolate bar. Can I join?"

The receptionist replies "Sir, that's disgraceful! You're mocking the community. We're going to have to ask you to leave."

"You can't call me sir!" The man exclaims. "I use her/she...

I only use one pronoun set.

You/people don't seem to appreciate it

My uncle's joke he just came up with: What are chocolate's preferred pronouns?

Her, She

What pronouns does Rosemary like to go by?

She/Herb.

What do you get when you cross a vegetable with a pronoun?

Beets me.

What pronouns did Julius use?

Ze/Zir

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

i sexually identify as a donkey

my pronouns are he/haw

Did you hear what Emma Watson's new pronouns are?

(Her, My & He)

I don't believe in pronouns,

They made me fail English

Teacher: Name 2 pronouns

Student: Who, me?

(And that's it!)

My preferred pronoun is "letter"

I was born female, but I identify as mail

What are Perry The Platypus’ pronouns?

Do Be Do/Be Do Bah

I added pronouns to my tinder profile last night.

I'm now known as he/him/yes officer that's the one.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What pronouns does a person who sexualy identifies as Michael Jackson use?

He/heee

Politically correct

I identify as as a comedian
My pronouns are HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE HE

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"I just deleted all the German names off my phone."

***"It's Hans free"***

*Funniest joke at this years Fringe by Darren Walsh.*

**The rest of the top ten.**

2 -"Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse ... but enough about Kanye West" - Stewart Francis

3 - "Surely every car is a people carrier?" - Adam Hess

4 - "...

It's no wonder women love chocolate so much. Their pronouns give it away.

Her/she

How is a girlfriend like a pronoun?

Your's is possessive

What would a donkey's pronouns be?

Hee-Her

I told my Italian housemate that "I'm not a materialist", he asked "is that a pronoun?",

I replied "no, it's more anti noun"

Is there more than one singular first person objective pronoun?

Or is it just me?

1950's definitions

A conference is a group of men who individually can do nothing, but as a group can meet and decide that nothing can be done.

A statistician is a man who draws a mathematically precise line from an unwarranted assumption to a foregone conclusion.

A professor is a man whose job it is to ...

I'm Jewish and Nonbinary.

My pronouns are oy/they.

When English Majors Marry...

'I now pronouns you he and she'

Husband: What's your most hated part of the english language?

Wife: The singular second person personal pronoun.

Husband: What?

Wife: YOU.

Lucky Pronouns.

Teacher :Sammy, can you give me 2 pronouns?

Sammy : Who? Me?

Teacher : Very good. That's correct!

I saw a couple of adjectives and a pronoun nervously smoking outside court yesterday.

Probably awaiting sentencing.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Grammar of F***

Transitive Verb: "I want you to fuck me until I can't walk."

Intransitive Verb: "We fucked until my dick fell off."

Phrasal Verb: "I'm going to royally fuck you up."

Noun: "That guy is such a dumb fuck."

Pronoun: "Look who fuck-face over there brought to the party."
...

Let me tell you a little about myself...

It's a reflexive pronoun that means 'me'...

What do you get when you combine silver, a personal pronoun, a tattoo, and the short form of Edward?

What do you get when you combine silver, a personal pronoun, a tattoo, and the short form of Edward?

Ag I tat Ed.

I'm veeeerrrryyyyy agitated.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

On the first day of school the new grade one class met their new teacher Miss Prussy. The class had trouble pronouning her name. Miss Prussy said just think of a pussy with an r .... The next morning....

Miss Prussy..... Good Morning Class !
Class..... Good Morning Miss Crunt !

What do you call a noun that is very good at its job?

A pronoun

Weebs doing a crossword puzzle

Person 1: Second person personal pronoun. 3 letters

Person 2: You

Person 1: Past participle of fall. 4 letters

Person 2: Fell

Person 1: Not the number, but the word. 3 letters

Person 2: For

Person 1: Horror movie that received a sequel in 2019. 2 letters
...

I identify as Giantkin.

My pronouns are Phe/Phi/Pho/Phum and i'd like you to respect them please.

Why did the bird refuse Martin Luther's food?

It was on a strict diet of worms.

A lot of people think Michael Jackson's Pronouns were He/Him, but in reality,

Michael's preferred prounouns were He/He

I just realized how woke Nintendo is.

The Wii and WiiU may be the first consoles in history to have preferred personal pronouns.

Why doesn't Switzerland make good cars?

You can only put them in neutral.

What is a pronoun?

Yes. It can also be an adverb.

Both a Joke and a True Story

My girlfriend's middle name is Lee.



The other day we were discussing how we can't distinguish the difference between various English language describing words: verb, noun, pronoun, adjective etc.



She turns to me, deadpan, and says "I always remember adverb because I am ...

What do you call someone who was dropped on their head as a baby?

Hard to say- every one of them has their own pronouns now.

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