UPJOKE
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They say certain types of people can resist a good click bait.

Apparently you aren’t one of them.

I was trying to track down a man and a woman, so I set a trap, and baited it with raw chicken.

And that's how I got Sam and Ella.

I've compiled a list of the top 10 click bait articles on the internet

Number 7 will shock you

My bait had a hot flash.

I think it has minnowpause

Fishing

A woman goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel.

She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the register.

There is a Wal-Mart "associate" standing there with dark shades on.

She says, "Excuse me sir...can you tell me anything about this rod and ...

I was fishing on vacation in Florida, when I ran out of bait. I saw a small snake nearby trying to swallow a frog and knowing the snake couldn’t bite me with the frog in his mouth, I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog, and put it in my bait bucket...

Now, the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit.

I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth.

His eyes rolled back, he went limp.

I released him into the lake without incident and carried on fishing using the frog.

A litt...

One fisherman said to the other: "Using bait during fishing isn't necessary".

The other fisherman said: "that's debaitable".

Yesterday I was sentenced to death for writing so many click bait headlines

What happens next will shock you

A good advice to avoid click bait

Better luck next time.

Hey girl, are you click bait?

Because I see 10 reasons why you're perfect and you won't believe #5

What's the difference between ramen soup and an Oscar-bait movie?

You watch one for three minutes, stirring occasionally. You watch the other for three hours and it's occasionally stirring.

What kind of bait cannot be used for fishing?

The Answer Will Shock You!

A policeman comes across three men sitting on a bench in the middle of a city park...

The one in the middle is calmy reading a newspaper, while the men on either side of him are pantomiming fishing. As the cop watches, again and again they bait invisible hooks, cast their rods, reel them back in with empty hands, and repeat the process.

After a few moments, the policeman appr...

Where did Buzz feed learn to click bait so well from?

Me

A young jock enters a pharmacy to buy condoms

Knowing the pharmacists is an old-fashioned gentleman and noticing a slight frown on his face, the young man decides to have some fun at his expenses by asking for another pack, remarking "you know, my girlfriend truly sounded thirsty last time I talked to her... Better be sure we don't run out!"...

My mate has just won an award for beating another 12 men in a bait digging contest.He has now been crowned.

The master baiter.

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The secret fishing bait

An angler walks into a tackle shop and heads to the counter. “Give me the best bait you’ve got,” he says. “My buddy told me there’s a fishing spot down by the creek here, and he always get lots of bites when using your bait.”

The clerk pulls out a small jar of bait which fills the shop with ...

Avoiding click-bait is impossible.

My point exactly.

20 AMAZING Reasons Click Bait Still Works!

1. People are stupid enough to click things that grab their attention.

I overheard some guy tell his sweet, old grandmother a joke about click-bait at her deathbed. What happened to her as a result will change your life forever!

Nothing. Absolutely nothing happened.

Stop clicking on click-bait!


(note/edit/whatever: I know this joke is a big gamble in terms of possible downvotes, but I just made it up and thought it was too good to not share with at least 1 person that might like it. Happy belated Hallowee...

So i walked into a bait shop this morning

And i didnt even mean to.

I fell victim to a click bait.

Just like you.

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Young Timmy rushed out on Christmas morning

Young Timmy rushed out on Christmas morning, anticipating that he'd be getting a new Nintendo Console this year. "Surprise!" shouted his parents. "We know you wanted video games, but we think you need to get outdoors more. We got you this set of fishing gear! Unfortunately, it was rather expensive, ...

Women bait me into feeling ugly so they can learn how much money I make.

Turns out, I’m ugly and poor.

I'm sick of these undercover cops always trying to bait me with online female personas.

Nice try f/bi.

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Taking The Bait

An old farmer is sitting on his front porch watching the sunrise when he sees the neighbor's kid walk by carrying a spool of something metallic under his arm. "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"

"Chicken wire."

"What you gonna do with that?"

"Gonna catch some chickens."

"You da...

A young man approaches a fisherman standing in the river...

He waves to the fisherman and says, "Wow, great pole you've got there!"

The fisherman smiles, gives a slight nod, and says, "thank you!"

\- "And man, that's some of the coolest tackle I've ever seen!"

Smile, nod, "thank you!"

"Some high-quality bait, too."

Big smi...

I have a super easy way to see how good you are at avoiding click bait.

Turns out you are terrible at it..

I was told that you catch more fish if you put maggots in your mouth for 5m before attaching them to your rod. Is this true?

I await your replies with baited breath.

A court ruled that sharing click-baits is punishable by death.

What happens next will shock you.

If you are a really excellent fisherman and you do it all the time they call you a master fisherman…

But, what if you are only really good at baiting the hook?

What’s worse than reading a click bait title?

Clicking on it.

You won't believe these 7 things you can do to avoid click bait

Redditors hate them

Click here to take a free click bait prevention test!

You failed

Two lying, click-bait advertisers walk into a bar.

You'll never believe what happens next!

A man walks into the head office of a click-bait news site...

...what happens next will shock you!!!

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Open Season on Nerds

This truck driver was driving through the Silicon Valley. He decides he needs a cup of coffee so he pulls into this truck stop. As he goes in the door he sees a sign that says "No Nerds will be served." He sits down at the bar, and the bartender comes over to him. The truck driver says, "I'll have a...

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Redneck book of manners.....

1. Never take a beer to a job interview.


2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.


3. It's considered poor taste to take a cooler to church.


4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.


5. Even if you're ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Newby Salesperson (Long joke)

NOTE: My husband thinks this joke is sexist, but I think it's hilarious.

A young man desperately needed a good paying job, so he applied as a salesperson for a large, everything-under-one-roof store.

The manager, seeing how young the man was, was doubtful he could sell anything, but th...

Facebook is getting rid of engagement bait

Guess I can't go phishing anymore.

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Gator Bait

A man walks into a bar, with a large alligator under one arm. He throws him up on the bar, smacks him upside the head with a big stick, and the gator slowly opens his gaping jaws wide. The man pulls down his pants, lays his schlong in the gator's mouth, for a good minute. Then he pulls it out, pulls...

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The Bait

An elderly couple were on a cruise and it was really stormy.

They were standing on the back of the boat watching the storm, when a wave came up and washed the old man overboard. They searched for days and couldn't find him, so the Captain sent the old woman back to the shore with the promise...

Only When you perfect the art of fishing and baiting hooks..

Will you become a Master Baiter

Jane couldn't quite work out why she didn't like her husband's new hobby.

But as he grabbed his bait and rod for the fifth day in row, she new it seemed fishy.

Have you heard about the woman who got pregnant from a sperm donor without telling her partner?

It was a master bait & switch.

What bait do you use to catch a space fish?

A worm hole

The Blind Sales Clerk

A woman goes into Cabela’s to buy a rod and reel for her grandson’s birthday. She doesn’t know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter.

The clerk was standing behind the counter wearing dark glasses. She says to him, “Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about...

Fishermen hate him- You won't believe the one item he uses to catch more fish than anyone else

Click bait.

Court decision: "I hereby find you guilty of clickbait, and sentence you to death by electric chair......

....what happens next will shock you."

Three friends are out fishing, having a competition to see who can catch the biggest fish.

The first guy says “Ill use worms as bait, surely this will catch the largest fish. My dad was a fisherman for all of his life, and taught me all of his tricks to catching the biggest fish. There is no possible way you guys can beat me.”

The second guy bursts out laughing. “You expect to catc...

Fishing is for Narc's

Just saying that there seems to be an awful lot of baiting and entrapment going on

Today in History class we learned that evil slave traders used to lure and capture Kalahari bushmen by speaking their language to draw them out in the open.

A terrible, early form of click bait.

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A man was going ice fishing.

He goes out onto the ice, cuts open a hold, and lowers his bait into the hole. 45 minutes pass, and the man has not gotten a nibble. A younger man walks out onto the ice, drills a hole right next to him, lowers his bait, and within a few minutes has hooked a largemouth bass.

The first man is...

An in-depth test to see if you know how to avoid Clickbait

Apparently not!

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Fish Joke

The Old Bearded Fisherman cast his line into the lake. Soon 3 young fish swam up, Eyeing the bait curiously. "G'mornin boys how's the water?" Said the old man. The 3 fish looked at each other and said,"What the fuck is Water?"

I recently saw a catfish at my local river.

No clue how it baits the hook with those tiny paws.

What news sources do fish prefer?

Click bait (sorry for the dad joke)

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Trucker is hauling a B-double with three containers full of computer parts.

It's getting on toward dark, and so he stops at a steakhouse for a bite.


The first thing he sees is a sign on the door:


NO THONGS


NO SINGLETS


NO NERDS


MANAGEMENT RESERVES THE RIGHT TO REFUSE ADMISSION


No nerds? Weird. But whatever...

(From my 9 year-old son) What type of fish should you use to catch other fish?

Bait-a fish.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Priest takes a walk down to the docks one day

and runs into a fisherman that attends his church. Upon hearing that the priest has a few hours off the fisherman invites him out to sea to fish with him.

Out at sea it doesn't take long for the fisherman to realize that the priest has no idea how to fish, so he gives him some quick instructi...

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A principal notices a Post-It on a locker.

"Jocks of JFK High! This small change in diet can boost your physique FOREVER! Head to the gym to find out how!"

Puzzled, he pulls it off and continues down the hall. Just a few lockers down, another catches his eye.

"Hey goth girls! Tired of dark eyeliner that just runs all day? One ...

Do you know the one step to avoiding Clickbait?

Obviously not

Why didn't the fisherman make it as a rapper?

His lines were okay, but his hooks were debaitable.

Two fishermen were fishing off the rocks...

The first fishermen was catching fish so fast they we're practically jumping straight into his bucket.

The second fishermen asked the first what his secret was. To which the first responded.

I have no wife, or girlfriend, I am a very lonely man.

The first fishermen didn't unders...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman contacts her brother-in-law last minute to ask him to watch her daughter for the day...

The brother-in-law, Tim, grudgingly agrees. He picks the girl up and takes her down to the shoreline where he works.

"Do you know what I do for a living?"

She nods. "You're a fisherman, right?"

"Well, kind of. See, we get a lot of fish around here, and in order to catch as ma...

Look, I know she ate a worm but

we are not here to debate de bait deb ate.

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