I was trying to track down a man and a woman, so I set a trap, and baited it with raw chicken.

And that's how I got Sam and Ella.

They say certain types of people can resist a good click bait.

Apparently you aren’t one of them.

I've compiled a list of the top 10 click bait articles on the internet

Number 7 will shock you

One fisherman said to the other: "Using bait during fishing isn't necessary".

The other fisherman said: "that's debaitable".

A guy is out fishing and runs out of bait...

And he sees a snake that slithered into his boat with a frog in his mouth. He’s fishing for big fish, so he thinks the frog should do for bait. He picks up the frog close to his head, and the snake goes limp enough for him to take out the frog. Well, the fisherman didn’t think too far through with ...

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A man was going ice fishing.

He goes out onto the ice, cuts open a hold, and lowers his bait into the hole. 45 minutes pass, and the man has not gotten a nibble. A younger man walks out onto the ice, drills a hole right next to him, lowers his bait, and within a few minutes has hooked a largemouth bass.

The first man is...

Yesterday I was sentenced to death for writing so many click bait headlines

What happens next will shock you

The Blind Sales Clerk

A woman goes into Cabela’s to buy a rod and reel for her grandson’s birthday. She doesn’t know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter.

The clerk was standing behind the counter wearing dark glasses. She says to him, “Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about...

I fell victim to a click bait.

Just like you.

What's the difference between ramen soup and an Oscar-bait movie?

You watch one for three minutes, stirring occasionally. You watch the other for three hours and it's occasionally stirring.

What news sources do fish prefer?

Click bait (sorry for the dad joke)

I was fishing on vacation in Florida, when I ran out of bait. I saw a small snake nearby trying to swallow a frog and knowing the snake couldn’t bite me with the frog in his mouth, I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog, and put it in my bait bucket...

Now, the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit.

I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth.

His eyes rolled back, he went limp.

I released him into the lake without incident and carried on fishing using the frog.

A litt...

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Young Timmy rushed out on Christmas morning

Young Timmy rushed out on Christmas morning, anticipating that he'd be getting a new Nintendo Console this year.

"Surprise!" shouted his parents. "We know you wanted video games, but we think you need to get outdoors more. We got you this set of fishing gear! Unfortunately, it was rather expe...

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The secret fishing bait

An angler walks into a tackle shop and heads to the counter. “Give me the best bait you’ve got,” he says. “My buddy told me there’s a fishing spot down by the creek here, and he always get lots of bites when using your bait.”

The clerk pulls out a small jar of bait which fills the shop with ...

A good advice to avoid click bait

Better luck next time.

What kind of bait cannot be used for fishing?

The Answer Will Shock You!

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Little Fisherman

Somewhere near a big lake lives Jon together with his cat.

Early in the morning Jon wakes up, washes his face and goes to the kitchen. He takes his bag of bread, takes out a few slices and butters them up. puts some cheese on it and stores them is his bread box. Picks up his fishing pole an...

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Trucker is hauling a B-double with three containers full of computer parts.

It's getting on toward dark, and so he stops at a steakhouse for a bite.


The first thing he sees is a sign on the door:


NO THONGS


NO SINGLETS


NO NERDS


MANAGEMENT RESERVES THE RIGHT TO REFUSE ADMISSION


No nerds? Weird. But whatever...

My mate has just won an award for beating another 12 men in a bait digging contest.He has now been crowned.

The master baiter.

20 AMAZING ways to cut down on click bait

Well that wasn't one of them.

Hey girl, are you click bait?

Because I see 10 reasons why you're perfect and you won't believe #5

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Taking The Bait

An old farmer is sitting on his front porch watching the sunrise when he sees the neighbor's kid walk by carrying a spool of something metallic under his arm. "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"

"Chicken wire."

"What you gonna do with that?"

"Gonna catch some chickens."

"You da...

10 Ways to disguise Click Bait!

Edit:Thnx for the gold stranger :)

So i walked into a bait shop this morning

And i didnt even mean to.

Avoiding click-bait is impossible.

My point exactly.

Three friends are out fishing, having a competition to see who can catch the biggest fish.

The first guy says “Ill use worms as bait, surely this will catch the largest fish. My dad was a fisherman for all of his life, and taught me all of his tricks to catching the biggest fish. There is no possible way you guys can beat me.”

The second guy bursts out laughing. “You expect to catc...

So there is a Priest, a Rabbi, and an Atheist in a boat fishing.

The priest says "Oh heavens, I forgot my lures back on land" and steps out of the boat, walks across the water back to the land, and grabs his lures before walking back to the boat.

The atheist was astounded, but before he could make sense of the situation, the rabbi says "Oh Hashem help me, ...

Women bait me into feeling ugly so they can learn how much money I make.

Turns out, I’m ugly and poor.

20 AMAZING Reasons Click Bait Still Works!

1. People are stupid enough to click things that grab their attention.

I'm sick of these undercover cops always trying to bait me with online female personas.

Nice try f/bi.

I overheard some guy tell his sweet, old grandmother a joke about click-bait at her deathbed. What happened to her as a result will change your life forever!

Nothing. Absolutely nothing happened.

Stop clicking on click-bait!


(note/edit/whatever: I know this joke is a big gamble in terms of possible downvotes, but I just made it up and thought it was too good to not share with at least 1 person that might like it. Happy belated Hallowee...

What did they call click bait in the Middle Ages?

Nothing the internet wasn't invented until like the 1970s.

You won't believe these 7 things you can do to avoid click bait

Redditors hate them

A court ruled that sharing click-baits is punishable by death.

What happens next will shock you.

I have a super easy way to see how good you are at avoiding click bait.

Turns out you are terrible at it..

Facebook is getting rid of engagement bait

Guess I can't go phishing anymore.

Click here to take a free click bait prevention test!

You failed

Two lying, click-bait advertisers walk into a bar.

You'll never believe what happens next!

A man walks into the head office of a click-bait news site...

...what happens next will shock you!!!

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A principal notices a Post-It on a locker.

"Jocks of JFK High! This small change in diet can boost your physique FOREVER! Head to the gym to find out how!"

Puzzled, he pulls it off and continues down the hall. Just a few lockers down, another catches his eye.

"Hey goth girls! Tired of dark eyeliner that just runs all day? One ...

Look, I know she ate a worm but

we are not here to debate de bait deb ate.

Only When you perfect the art of fishing and baiting hooks..

Will you become a Master Baiter

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The Bait

An elderly couple were on a cruise and it was really stormy.

They were standing on the back of the boat watching the storm, when a wave came up and washed the old man overboard. They searched for days and couldn't find him, so the Captain sent the old woman back to the shore with the promise...

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Gator Bait

A man walks into a bar, with a large alligator under one arm. He throws him up on the bar, smacks him upside the head with a big stick, and the gator slowly opens his gaping jaws wide. The man pulls down his pants, lays his schlong in the gator's mouth, for a good minute. Then he pulls it out, pulls...

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Two men are fishing.

One asks the other how his recent marriage is going.

"Not so well. We haven't been able to consummate the marriage. The wife has gonorrhea."

"Wow, that's bad. I suppose there's always oral sex?"

"Nope. She has a serious gum infection - pyorrhea."

"Is she up for, ahem, an...

Fishermen hate him- You won't believe the one item he uses to catch more fish than anyone else

Click bait.

I don't understand Fly fishing

Why are you fishing for flies? What do you even bait them with? A starving Ethiopian?

(From my 9 year-old son) What type of fish should you use to catch other fish?

Bait-a fish.

A father had promised his two young sons he would take them on a fishing trip

The boys were digging for fishing bait in their parents' garden. Uncovering a many legged creature, one of the boys proudly dangled it before his Father.

"No, son, he won't do for bait" his Father said. "He's not an earthworm".

"He's not?" the boy asked, his eyes wide. "What planet i...

Court decision: "I hereby find you guilty of clickbait, and sentence you to death by electric chair......

....what happens next will shock you."

An in-depth test to see if you know how to avoid Clickbait

Apparently not!

In high school some kids told me they’d give me $20 to hang out with them.

Turns out it was just clique bait.

A detective went to investigate a fisherman

He said “I want to ask you some questions.” To which the fisherman replied “Sure,But you need to buy me some worms first” the detective says “God dammit I’m here to investigate not invest in bait”

What do fishermen do in their free time?

They master bait

Why didn't the fisherman make it as a rapper?

His lines were okay, but his hooks were debaitable.

Two fishermen were fishing off the rocks...

The first fishermen was catching fish so fast they we're practically jumping straight into his bucket.

The second fishermen asked the first what his secret was. To which the first responded.

I have no wife, or girlfriend, I am a very lonely man.

The first fishermen didn't unders...

New Zealand Humor

(Stolen unashamedly from a comment on Quora)

Some years ago the Pope was visiting New Zealand as part of a world tour.

On a day when he had a few hours to spare he asked if he could be shown one of the famous beaches of New Zealand, so his hosts took him to a beautiful, secluded beach ...

Do you know the one step to avoiding Clickbait?

Obviously not

You’ll NEVER believe THIS secret of how African fisherman are talking to worms to MAXIMISE their catch!

Sorry, but this is click bait.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman contacts her brother-in-law last minute to ask him to watch her daughter for the day...

The brother-in-law, Tim, grudgingly agrees. He picks the girl up and takes her down to the shoreline where he works.

"Do you know what I do for a living?"

She nods. "You're a fisherman, right?"

"Well, kind of. See, we get a lot of fish around here, and in order to catch as ma...

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A Priest takes a walk down to the docks one day

and runs into a fisherman that attends his church. Upon hearing that the priest has a few hours off the fisherman invites him out to sea to fish with him.

Out at sea it doesn't take long for the fisherman to realize that the priest has no idea how to fish, so he gives him some quick instructi...

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A group of people from different nationalities went to a restaurant and each ordered a glass of wine. When they received their drinks, they found out every glass had a fly in it.

The swede demanded new wine in the same glass.

The brit demanded new wine in a new glass.

The finnish man took the fly out of the glass and drank the wine.

The Russian drank the wine with the fly.

The Chinese man ate the fly and left the wine.

The jew took the...

Guy goes to get a massage for the first time. What is he happy about?

All the things he didn't know he kneaded.




Edit: Thought about it more. Initial phrasing was to bait out "happy ending" responses, but I feel like this would probably be better:

Guy goes to get a massage for the first time. What was he surprised by?

How much was knead...

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