I once complimented a curvy woman who doesn't believe Earth is round.

She replied that it was very flattering.

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I’m currently looking to date a very curvy bisexual.

I guess you can say I have a bi-ass.

What do you call a curvy girl who voted for Trump?

Thick with 3 K’s

I’m anorexic but I’m very curvy...

You can see each of my ribs individually.

My girlfriend hates it when I call her 'curvy'.

She says it's Scoliosis.

Did you hear that Disturbed likes curvy girls?

They're Down With The Thiccness

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That SOB can drive!

### There was this woman sitting on a park bench muttering to herself and spitting. She would mutter then spit, mutter then spit. As a man got closer he heard her say "Damn, that sonofabitch can drive" then spit "Damn, that sonofabitch can drive" then spit, "Damn that sonofabitch can drive" then...

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Personals Ad

Premature ejaculator seeks woman with big tits, a curvy arse and.... oh, never mind.

What's curvy, crunchy, and caws?

A Pringull.

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A virgin is trapped in the woods on a deserted island

A virgin is trapped in the woods on an island which appears to be deserted. However, once he sets up camp, some indigenous people tie him up and capture him.

The man is pretty ugly, so the tribe decides he is probably a virgin. The leader proclaims, "It is as prophesied: the gods have brought...

A sailor enters a sketchy watering hole. In the entrance a sign reads: Sausage roll 10$

And underneath it continues: Hand job 13$

A curvy barmaid is at the bar. He approaches her.

- Are you the one giving the hand jobs?
- Yes my sweet, are you feeling lonely? Do you want one?

He says

- No I will need you to sanitize your hands though...

(taking ...

Difference between a wife and a girlfriend

A grandson asked his grandpa one question while on the way back from school.

Grandson: What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?

Grandpa thought for a minute and simplified the explanation like this:

Grandpa: Listen young one, a wife is like a TV and a girlfriend i...

She told me she was curvy

What she didn't tell me was that she had scoliosis

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A study has revealed that curvy hips indicate smart women who deliver intelligent children.

So that's what my son's been looking for on PornHub, a smart woman.

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A notorious loan shark is driving drunk one night...

As he's speeding down some curvy mountain roads, the shark loses control of the vehicle and crashes head-on into a tree.

When he comes to, the man finds himself lying on a sofa in a fairly modest looking waiting room. Dizzy, he looks around and sees what appears to be a reception desk at the ...

she told me her body is curvy

when she goes swiming she looks like an island on google maps

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Ladder to success

A guy is wandering through the woods on a trail he's been through many times before when he notices a ladder in the middle of the trail stretching up farther than he can see.

He's never seen this before so he says to himself "fuck it lets see where this goes"

He begins his acsent climb...

A curvy blonde walks into a drugstore

She asks the clerk, "Can you show me where the flashlight batteries are?".

The clerk says, "Sure." and wiggled his fingers at her in a come-hither gesture. "Come this way", he continued.

She replied "If I could come that way, I wouldn't need the flashlight batteries."

A pirate desires what kind of woman?

The s-curvy girls

Thots are like circles.

Curvy, but pointless.

Old Man Crying

An elderly man of 78 years was sitting on a bench crying

A man walking by stopped to ask what was wrong.

"Well, I just married the most beautiful woman ever, Nice, young, and curvy in all the right places!" Said the old man.

"Then why cry?" asked the passer by

The old man...

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Picked up this woman last night

big tits, curvy arse, amazing legs, short skirt. She was a little bit out of it ... But one thing led to another and we ended up having mind-blowing sex. I’ve now been sacked as an ambulance driver

A london cabbie is driving down an unlit street in heavy fog he sees a figure in the distance hailing him...

...he opens the door and turns around to see a beautiful naked woman.

"Where to love?"

"5 Kings road please"

She's so gorgeous and curvy in all the right places that he can't keep his eyes of her. She catches him in a longer lingering stare and says

"What do you think you...

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Freudian Slip

Two friends are at a bar talking about embarrassing situations they've had. The first friend says "Man, last week, I had a really bad Freudian slip. I was having dinner with my fiancée and her mother and our waitress at the restaurant was really curvy and attractive. While ordering I meant to ask...

I can't find this joke.

No, that was not a setup for a joke, I can't remember the original joke that goes something like
"I'm as straight as an uncooked noodle."
"Well even noodles get curvy when things get steamy," or whatever.
I can't find it and I'm frustrated.
Please help. If anybody finds it I'll reply ...

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One day in Kindergarten Class...

One day in Kindergarten Class, Ms. Johnson decided to teach the children about fruit. She put different fruits into a paper bag and started describing to the kids what fruit she had; the children were then supposed to guess what kind of fruit she had.

To start she reached in and said, "Okay, ...

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