UPJOKE
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Confession

A teenage boy goes to church to confess his sins...

"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned, I have been with a loose girl."

The priest asks, "Is that you, little Tommy?"

"Yes Father, it is," the boy replied.

"And who was the girl you were with?"

"I can’t tell you F...

When journalists quote you, they have a subtle but unmistakable way to call out your grammatical errors.

It's a [sic] burn.

Come in

The mail carrier had a registered letter that needed a signature for a party on his route. Receiving no response to his knock on the front door, he went around to the back door which he found open, except for the screen door. He knocked. A high pitch voice from inside said, "Come in."

Upon e...

Quoting someone's mistakes...

Quoting someone's mistakes is a sic burn.

Misquotes

make me [sic]

Poor grammar and the Coronavirus both made me..

[sic]

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(Nsfw) How do you titillate an ocelot?

You oscillate their tits a lot.

What do you call 4 Mexicans in a leaky boat?

cuatro sinko[sic]

I hate people who quote misspelled text

They make me (sic).

My parents and I walk in to the house and see my sister...

My parents and I walk in to the house and see my sister sitting on the table next to an open jar of pickles.

Her legs are open as if stirrups were holding them up, pickle affixed in the unholiest of holies.

Stunned, we tried to play it off with some small talk.

Sister silent, I ...

Why couldn't the misspelled quotation come to the party?

Because it was [sic]

Why was the textual scholar absent from work?

He woz [sic].

What do you call a joke that only works written down instead of told orally?

A [sic] joke

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