UPJOKE
shopstoredelicatessenstorefrontmalldress shopshoppingfrench languageemporiumhypermarketbarbershopgrocerybookstorespecialtyrestaurant

Boutique Jokes

A man discovered a small fashion boutique that had just opened, and went in.

After telling the clerk that he's "just looking", he peeked around and found a shirt he thought would look good on him.

"What a nice shirt," he said.

Then he heard a voice, as if from inside the shirt itself: "What a nice shirt, a nice shirt."

At first, the man was shocked, but...

Judge: “It is stated here that on six occasions, you broke into the boutique.”

Man: “Yes my Lord.”

Judge: “How many clothes did you steal?”

Man: “One dress.”

Judge: “You broke into the boutique six times but stole only one dress?”

Man: “My wife didn't like the first five.”

I'm planning on opening an art boutique.

I'll sell paintings of jesus smoking weed.

It'll be a high prophet enterprise.

An Italian man with spells of amnesia goes into a boutique coffee shop...

The barista asked what he wants, and he replies "Affogato".

Confused husband

Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, "I'll bet you don't know what day this is."

"Of course I do," he answered as if he was offended, and left for the office.

At 10:00 a.m., the doorbell rang and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box of a dozen long s...

A kid is getting ready for prom.

He goes to a boutique to buy a suit, and after he finds one he likes, he realizes that the line is very long. He really likes the suit, though, so he waits for a while and then leaves with his purchase. Next, he goes to a flower shop to get his date a bouquet, and the line there is very long as well...

A woman was in town on a shopping trip.

She began her day finding the most perfect shoes in the first shop and a beautiful dress on sale in the second. In the third, everything had just been reduced by 50 percent when her mobile phone rang.



It was a female doctor notifying her that her husband had just been in a terrible ca...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mrs. Blum's husband has lost interest in her sexually,.....

...so she goes to the local lingerie boutique and buys some crotchless
panties. That night, when her husband comes home from work,
she yells down from the bedroom, "Honey, come upstairs...
I have a surprise for you." When he opens the bedroom door,
she's lying on the bed wearing just a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman is looking for a birthday gift for her husband...

She goes all around town, to all the sporting stores, department stores, gadget/computer stores, can't find anything her husband would like or doesn't have.

She decides to go downtown and walks around looking at interesting boutique stores when she ends up walking into a very strange looking ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young man wanted to buy a pair of expensive gloves for his sweetheart’s birthday...

He went to an expensive boutique, bought
the finest gloves available, and asked the saleswoman to have
them delivered along with a note he had written. Unfortunately,
the clerk mixed up the order while wrapping the merchandise.
Instead of the expensive gloves, the clerk accidentally wr...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman is on vacation in Spain...

A lady goes on vacation to Spain and decides to go to a bull fighting match. She finds it mildly entertaining but is somewhat distressed at the violence inherent in the act. After the show ends she goes to a restaurant near the arena and asks the waiter what he would recommend. He passionately recom...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"NO BABY I DON'T FEEL LIKE DOING IT, I Just Want You To Hold Me".

Last week, my girlfriend and i were in bed kissing passionately and getting sensual. As our passion began to heat'up, she said..... "NO BABY I DON'T FEEL LIKE DOING IT, I Just Want You To Hold Me".

I screamed "WHAT??!!" "What Was That?!" She replied...."You're just not in touch with my emoti...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.