UPJOKE
shopkeepertradesmanmerchantwarehousemangreengrocermarket keepertobacconistnewsagentstoreownerhaberdasherdruggisttinsmithbookkeepersalesmansalesgirl

Storekeeper Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The double flavored apple store

A man just moved to a new town from far away, and one day decides to take a walk around to get to know the area.

While walking down the street and checking out all the stores along the way, he notices one that seemed unusual. The sign above read "Jerry's Double Flavored Apples." Curious, the ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Jew goes to the cleaners

A Jew goes to the cleaners to get his tallis (prayer shawl) cleaned and he sees that the store is under new non-Jewish management. He goes up to the guy behind the counter.

"The previous owner always gave me a special price when he cleaned my tallis. Will you honor his price?"

"Sure ...

Mark Twain at a dinner at the Author's Club, said:

Speaking of fresh eggs, I am reminded of the town of Squash. I my early lecturing days I went to Squash to lecture in Temperance Hall, arriving in the afternoon. The town seemed poorly billed. I thought I'd find out if the knew anything at all about what was in store for them.

'Good aftern...

A guy, desperate for a drink walks into a candy store. He looks around and after a while the storekeeper says, "Can I help you with anything?"

The guy replies, "Yeah, I really need a drink! Got any liquor?

"Well, I'm not sure but there is this here," replies the storekeeper.

"What is that?"

"It's liquor-ish"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Irishman buys a chainsaw...

Paddy goes to the tool store to buy a chainsaw.

The storekeeper says " this model will cut 60 trees a day".

"Fine," says Paddy, I'll take it now".

The next day, Paddy returns to the store. "You said this chainsaw would cut 60 trees a day, I'm only able to cut 40?"

The st...

A preacher buys a parrot

"Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asked the preacher.

"Oh absolutely. It's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him.

"Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lord's prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23...

Wrong Flowers

On opening his new store, a man received a bouquet of flowers. He became dismayed on reading the enclosed card, that it expressed "Deepest Sympathy". While puzzling over the message, his telephone rang. It was the florist, apologizing for having sent the wrong card.
"Oh, it's alright." said the s...

A man walks into a store that has a broken neon sign

A man walks into a store and says,"hey, you should fix your neon sign out front, the letter E is burnt out".
The storekeeper replies, "I can't replace the letter, it would ruin the joke!"
"What joke?" Asks the man.
"Stop me if you've heard it before," says the shopkeep, "because it's an old...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A girl walks in a store asking for a condom for a 12 inches penis.

"Yes", Said the storekeeper. "How many you want?"

"No, I dont want any of them, just take my phone number and give to whoever comes to buy it", she replied.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.