I hardly drive anywhere yet have recently bought a Ferrari, a BMW, an RX-7, a Mercedes-Benz and an Aston Martin.

I clearly have the car owner virus.

Overweight guy goes to the doctor for some weight control help

Doctor gives him an Rx for 100 diet pills with the following instructions

Every morning, dump the pills all over the floor and bend down to pick them up, one at a time..

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man asked his doctor for a triple Rx of Viagra

A man went to the doctor 's office to ask for a triple dosage of Viagra.
Doctor: I can't give you a triple dose.
Man: Why not?
Doctor: Because it's not safe.
Man: But I need it really bad.
Doctor: Well, why do you need it so badly?
Man: My girlfriend is coming into...

My doc prescibed me an RX for my poison ivy and oak allergies.

I got 99 problems but an itch aint one.

Google knows!

Subject: Today's Reality


CALLER: Is this Gordon's Pizza?


GOOGLE: No sir, it's Google Pizza.


CALLER: I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.


GOOGLE: No sir, Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.


CALLER: OK. I would like to order a ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It took us ages to get this joke... Want to have a go?

So the theme for my [House Warming Party](http://i.imgur.com/TaE9k.jpg) was "Puns" and everyone came dressed as a pun. I sewed boxes of smarties to my pants (hardy har har). [This guy](http://imgur.com/a/yWeqt#0) arguably had the hardest one to guess. Those are sprigs of thyme. They're in white ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.