What time is rush hour?

21:12.

What did the monster say when he saw a full train during rush hour?

"Oh good! A chew, chew train!"

Credit to the attendant at Balaclava Train Station in Melbourne.

"Have a train-tastic Thursday night!"

My mother always complains about hitting traffic during rush hour.

I just think she needs to be a better driver.

The subway car was packed. It was rush hour, and many people were forced to stand. One particularly cramped woman turned to the man behind her and said, "Sir, if you don't stop poking me with your thing, I'm going to the cops!"

"I don't know what you're talking about miss, that's just my paycheck in my
pocket."

"Oh, really?" she spat. "Then you must have some job, because that's the fifth
raise you've had in the last half hour!"

I blamed being late for work on Rush Hour...

The next day I blamed it on Rush Hour 2



(Original credit goes to @murrman5 on twitter)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Heard on the Underground

A list of actual announcements that London Tube train drivers have made to their passengers...
1) "Ladies and Gentlemen, I do apologize for the delay to your service. I know you're all dying to get home, unless, of course, you happen to be married to my ex-wife, in which case you'll want to cro...

A letter an 83-year-old lady wrote to her grandson.

My dear grandson,



Some days ago, I experienced something wonderful, which I want to share with you.

I went to a religious shop and found a car sticker saying: "Honk if you love God!"

I decided to buy it and stick it on the bumper of my car.

When I went away, I was...

An Israeli businessman accidentally sleeps through his alarm one morning.

Feeling the panic of waking up late, he throws on his suit as quickly as he can and rushes out the door to drive to work. As he begins the commute through the Tel Aviv rush hour traffic, he painfully watches the clock as his meeting starts without him.

Finally he pulls into his parking lot, ...

HOW TO DRIVE IN ATLANTA

1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, Atlana. Old-timers are still allowed to call it Alana.
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 am to noon. The evening rush hour is from noon to 7:00 pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
3. The minimum acceptable speed on I-285 is...

A boy and his mother were walking towards their local MRT..

They were heading to the main City in order to buy some food supplies, they did this every week in order to be always ready for an emergency and such.

They finished buying their groceries and set off to return home, the subway was very packed, since they got home in rush hour, the passenger...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a black man and a Chinese man stuck in traffic?

Rush hour

Idiots

A wife is sitting at home when a breaking news report appears on the TV stating there is a deranged man driving 100 mph on the freeway against traffic during rush hour. Remembering that this is the same route her husband drives home on a daily basis, the shocked and terrified woman quickly grabs the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After completing a celebrity pro-am golf tournament, Jackie Chan walks into the clubhouse bar...

As he makes his way through the crowd of professional golfers and lesser celebrities, he mentions to his playing partner, Phil Mickelson, that he makes a point of playing as many pro-ams as he can throughout the year because “it gives him a chance to network with other celebrities.”

At that v...

Today, I saw a black guy wave to an Asian from across the street. It gives me hope for the future...

Rush Hour 4!

One day, at the zoo...

Little Johnny and his mother go to visit the zoo. They visit the Reptile House, Monkey Island, Chimpanzee Forest, and the Avian Habitat. As they're walking toward the exit, they pass the Elephant Sanctuary.

Little Johnny points to the elephant and says, "Mommy, what's that thing hanging down...

Punch

A guy and his girlfriend are getting ready for prom, by searching the Internet for the perfect dress and suit. Finally, on the day of the prom, they are satisfied. They drive downtown to buy their new clothes. Unfortunately, many of their classmates also waited until the last minute, and there is to...

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