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Rock Star Jokes

A failed rapper, a failed rock star, and a mediocre country singer walk into a bar

He tells the bartender "anything but Budweiser."

I was arguing with a guy at a bar who said he was a big rock star in the 80’s

I didn’t believe him, but he was Adamant.

A joke I made up as a child that I was very proud of and thought was the funniest thing in the world:

Q. What do you call a famous pebble?

A. A rock star.

Did you hear about that crook that was stealing guitars from classic rock stars?

He was locked up for Petty thievery.

Summer in my city makes me feel like a super rock star

Everyday I have this fan blowing my balls

What type of AIDS do Rock Stars get?

BAND AIDS!

What is the difference between a jazz musician and a rock star

A rock star plays three chords for an audience of thousands: the jazz musician plays thousands of chords for a audience of three.

Why did the rock star fail his depressing math exam?

He couldn't get the saddest fraction.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(NSFW) "At one point," boasted the ageing rock star, "I was having affairs simultaneously with Ms Estefan, Ms Gaynor and Ms Steinem!"

"Sounds like a good time!" replied the interviewer.

"Good? It was fucking Glorias!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little known fact: Michael Caine tried to make it as a pimp, providing prostitutes for rock stars.

It didn't work out, though. One girl was hired to perform oral sex on Jim Morrison and his band mates but she ended up at a festival shagging every musician. Caine reprimanded her severely, telling her "YOU WERE ONLY SUPPOSED TO BLOW THE BLOODY DOORS OFF!"

Change in women's requirements towards men by years.

10 years - prince with a castle

15 years - a rock star

20 years - beautiful, smart and rich boy

25 years - a smart and rich man

30 years - a man that cooks and cleans

35 years - a man

40 years - a cat

45 years - two cats

Kids! Don't buy drugs.

Become a rock star, they'll give 'em to you for free!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A frog walks into a bank...

And is greeted by Patricia Wack, the bank teller. He hops onto the counter, and asks to open a line of credit with their bank, requesting 150 thousand dollars.

Taken aback, Ms. Wack says "Well....uh...do you have collateral?" and very slowly and calmly, the frog pulls out a small porcelain p...

MOM: "No more TV until you finish your math homework!"

KID: "Aww, Mom! When am I ever gonna use math in real life? I'm gonna grow up to be a super rich rock star...I'll pay people to do math \*for\* me."
MOM: "Well, why didn't you say so? That's a wonderful goal! And I know exactly how to help you pursue it."


THE NEXT DAY
MOM:...

What do you call a famous geologist?

A rock star.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A horse is hanging out in a barn watching MTV.

He sees a guy on stage playing the guitar and says, "I want to learn the guitar!" So he calls up a music teacher and tells him he wants to learn the guitar. Only problem is, he's a horse. Music teacher says "no problem, come on in and I'll teach you guitar." Horse goes to see the music teacher and l...

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