The legend of the three kingdoms

There were three kingdoms, each bordering on the same lake. For centuries, these kingdoms had fought over an island in the middle of that lake. One day, they decided to have it out, once and for all. The first kingdom was quite rich, and sent an army of 25 knights, each with three squires.

Th...

You play League of Legends AND World of Warcraft??

Wow, Lol.

I took a picture of a meteor shower that looked just like the main character from The Legend of Zelda.

Link in the comets.

My friend explains what the symbols on a map mean.

He is a legend.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There's a little known legend about Attila the hun

The story goes that Attila used to collect exotic animals that he found during his conquests. He particularly liked dangerous or fearsome animals, and his favourite was a giant snake. He was so fond of it, it was said that he brought it with him on every campaign.

But his snake lost its appet...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Driving is like League of Legends

Everyone but me is fucking terrible.

My wife was leaving me because I made too many Legend of Zelda references

My wife was leaving me because I made too many Legend of Zelda references. She packed up her suitcase, and she walked out. As soon as she walked out of the door, I noticed that she had left her suitcase here. We live in a bad neighborhood, so she packed some pepper spray in it just in case. I quickl...

I heard a rumor that the next Legend of Zelda game is to be set in a Hyrule version of Spain. No one believes me

They don’t expect a Spanish Link decision

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Terrible Legend of Bahuda

Three explorers are making their way through a one of those generic jungles that always shows up in these sorts of jokes, when they are suddenly ambushed by a tribe of massive cannibals. (That's "massive" in the sense that they are very large, although they are also particularly passionate about eat...

Legend tells of an incredible hero...

Legend tells of an incredible hero: Carto-Man. Half of his body is a regular human, but the other half is made up of a key from a map.


The man, the myth, the legend

What did people call Iron Man after he started playing "League of Legends?"

The Toxic Avenger.

Did you hear the urban legend about the creepy ghost that appears when you use artificial sweetener?

He's called Splendaman.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Bus Driver and The Legend Dave......and also his wife

On Dave's Birthday his wife decided to take him to a Strip Club.

They arrive at the club and the doorman says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin'?"

His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.

"Oh no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team."

When they are seated, a ...

Why is America bad at League of Legends?

Because we can’t defend towers

Did you hear about the Legend of Zelda gardening sim?

You play as Link, the hero of Thyme.

Here's an old legend with a new twist

Once upon a time, in a magical fantasy kingdom, there lived a young monk named Sam.

His order was renowned for their beautiful choral singing. They trained, hours every day, refining their voices and their art. Their song floated down the mountainside, enriching the lives and souls of the tow...

[ True Story / Legend ] A group of guys walk by Arnold working out on Venice beach..

One of the guys says "Look at this guy, I would never want to be that big".

To which Arnold replys, "Goode because you neva vill", as he finishes a pump.

My granddad was something of a legend: he actually went down in history

and on one occasion, fingered a girl in geography.

A legend of the Native Americans

While many people know of Sequoya, the Native American genius who developed the Cherokee alphabet, fewer have heard of another visionary – yet he made a discovery no less groundbreaking, owing nothing to the white man’s knowledge.

It fell out like this: In the early 1800s, a certain chief, ...

Why is Legend of Zelda better than Star Wars?

It has triple the force.

Legend says that if you stand in front of the mirror in your room at 3 and say "Bloody Mary" loudly

Then your mom will appear, throw sandals at you and tell you to shut the hell up and go to sleep.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why does NA never do well at worlds in League of Legends?

Cuz Americans are shit at defending towers

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild was originally intended to be for Wii U

But mid-way through development they made the switch.

I hate how if a guy sleeps with a ton of girls hes a legend

But when a girl does it, its my wife.

Why do the french hate League of Legends?

They have to wait 20 minutes before surrendering

Did you hear that Nightblue3 and Eminem played League of Legends together yesterday?

Eminem got one shot

Bikers were riding west on when they saw a girl about to jump off a Bridge.

They stopped and George, the leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says, "Hey Baby.....whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?"

She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Grandad told me this one (the guy is a legend)

A girl is sat in the hairdresser's, eating some cake.

She is sat quite close to the barber, so she asks,

"Excuse me sir, would you mind moving away from me a bit, I'm going to get hair on my muffin"

He replies, "Yeah, and your gonna get tits aswell."


NOTE: I have no c...

An old Tahitian legend...

As the legend goes, when the Tahitians first found their island, after they had settled in, they decided to build a grand central hall for their new settlement. Unlike contemporary Europeans, though, they built their dwellings not out of timber or stone but out of the materials they had at hand: ree...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Legend says that Chuck Norris smashes your head into the table wherever you are if you talk shit about him on the internet

What a load of buhsjsksbd37y3g4urovnbbafauld42g88

My school did a performance called League of Legends.

It was a play on wards.

What does a depressed person do when they leave the toilet?

I don’t know, they just feel empty inside

(Courtesy of my ten-year-old cousin. He told me he made it up, what a legend)

What do you call mythical cheese?

Legend dairy

I have this friend, he's a real legend.

he's always telling me what the different symbols mean on maps.

What do you get when you cryogenically freeze a genetic copy of basketball legend Kareem Abdul Jabbar?

An ice Kareem clone

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day a business man notices a little shop and decides he’ll check it out.

Where stands an old man. Before the business man could introduce himself. The old man, thinking that he is the town’s famed storyteller, began his great legend.

He started,”Do ye feel the sturdiness of this here frame? I built it with mine own two hands. But they don’t call me Poltroon the bu...

SEVEN times!?

Barry came back from his honeymoon and was talking to his mates. "Well Barry, how many times did you do it on your wedding night mate?" Barry thinks for a minute and says, "Seven times".

"SEVEN times Barry?! You're a legend! How did you manage that?"

Barry says, "It was easy. In, ...

Why is Donald Trump not a fan of League of Legends?

Because there's too much Faker news.

What do the game over screen in the Legend of Zelda and disgruntled redditors have in common?

Link is dead

I see that software legend Photoshop is turning 25 this week.

Actually, it's turning 38. It just looks 25.

Somebody told me that if you look at the symbols in the corner of a map and see the words "Bloody Rosemary," something horrible will happen.

But that's just an herb in legend.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A team of Nazi spies parachutes in Britain during WW2.

They're all well-trained, they know their mission, they have their legends. But when they're still above the ocean, suddenly a terrible thunderstorm hits them. The hurricane scatters them, some of them smash into the cliffs, others hit the waves and drown. Only one last spy, by sheer luck or miracle...

Centuries ago, on a remote island in the North Atlantic...

Vikings arrived and began a settlement with help from their Irish thralls. But they weren't alone. All manner of otherworldly beings lurked in the island's hidden corners. The Vikings called these beings *vættir*; the Gaels called them *Aes Sídhe*.

Among these beings were the selkies who frol...

The Legend of the Man Who Went on Vacation to New Orleans

It can be assumed that the man had gone to many, many bars that night. By the time he had entered his fifth bar, he was definitely drunk.

The man decided that it was about time to use the bathroom, so he approached the bartender and asked the bartender politely, "Exchuze me... whre kn-I take...

I was trying to think of a Legend of Zelda pun...

But I don't want to tri and force it

There's a legend of a old bar in the slums of New York

In the women's restroom is a mirror. If you tell the mirror something true about yourself it rewards you with 500,000 dollars. If you tell a lie it sucks you up never to be heard from again.


So a ginger women walks in and says " l think I'm the prettiest of all the girls !" The mirror swa...

The Legend of Zelda Joke

Do you know why Ganon can't use the internet?

There's too many Links.

A Canadian accidentally bumped into a hard of hearing person.

Legend has it that they're still saying sorry to each other.

Kayne West was originally going to sing John Legend's recent hit song

But they gave it to John Legend after Kayne changed the chorus to: "Cause all of me, loves all of me. Love my curves and all my edges. All my perfect perfections"

What do you call good ice cream

Legend-dairy

A friend of mine can float one inch off the ground when he drinks Jack Daniels.

He’s a bourbon legend.

My friend said my taste in dark humor is really messed up.

I think he's just racist; Pryor, Rock, and Chappelle are legends.

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Mahatma Gandhi The Wise?

I thought not. It's not a story the British would tell you.

It's a Hindi legend. Gandhi was an Indian activist, so powerful and wise he could walk miles and miles without shoes, developing blisters on his feet. He had such a knowledge of resilience, he could even live through hunger strikes w...

The Spanish assassin

There was once a hitman who was known for his skill and stealth. Nobody really knew his identity, except for the fact that he always used to count to three before shooting his victim.

One time, a mob leader wanted a hit on a rival leader, so he hired him. He said "I want the kill to be clean,...

An architect

An architect storms into the CEOs office holding a towel to his bloody nose. "Good God, man, what happened to you!?" the CEO exclaimed.

"Sir, the lead architect on the Legend project just punched me in the face for questioning his designs, which frankly are impossible. Take a look." The ar...

The Inca people were one of the few who ever mastered hunting with owls, much like traditional falconry.

Legend says they learned calls to communicate with the intelligent birds, even to the point of planning attack strategies ahead of time.

And that's where we get the term Inca-hoots.

“How do you consider your dad?” asked a teacher

“My dad is a legend for me!” says a kid.
“Why, Billy?” asked the teacher.
“Because I’ve never met him”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mr. Punn could not save them

I remember years ago when in my remote town in Alaska there were 10 men stuck underground. I don't recall the circumstances that got them into this situation but it was clear that if they didn't get out soon they weren't going to make it.

All of our local rescue and public services were unabl...

What do you do when you want to find a mythical location on a map?

Well legend has it...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A chicken walks into a bar..

..and orders five flagons of mead. After the fourth alcoholic beverage, the bartender asks him..

  

"Hey buddy why the long fac..oh wait not a horse lol."

  

The chicken gulps down his fifth drink and laments.

  

"You see, that ott...

Do you know why the chicken crossed the road?

I thought not. It's not a story the Cities would tell you. It's a Farmers legend. The Chicken was a Dark Lord of the Farm land, so powerful and so wise he could use the cluck to influence the midifarmians to create eggs... The Chicken had such a knowledge of the cluck that he could even keep the one...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.