What would the show be renamed if Rick and Morty actually legitimately died for good?

Rigor and Mortis

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If you put Greg Abbott, Ted Cruz, and Rick Perry together in a room, who's the first to realize they're full of shit?

The room.

Rick Astley and James Blunt are in a bar having a pint

And they are talking about all the celebrities they knew :-

Rick Astley said "I met Yoko Ono in Soho once" but James had never met her before

James mentioned he was good friends with Carrie Fisher, unfortunately Rick had never met her

Rick Mentioned once going to dinner with ...

Rick Astley will let you borrow almost any movie from his Pixar collection.

But he's never gonna give you Up

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Rick and John

Two friends Rick and John meet after a long time in a bar.

Rick: "Last few weeks it is not too bad - I had sex around twice a week with my girlfriend."

John: "Same here - at least twice a week"

Rick: "Very good. Listen, I was not aware you had a girlfriend, you never told me ?"<...

100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rick had cars. Today everyone own cars and only the rich own horses.

The stables have turned.

If you ever try to rick roll me, I will look for you. I will find you....

....I'm never gonna give you up.

Rick, a salesman, specilized in real estate. As he was talking to a client names Down about a property. The client said to Rick...

"Never in my life have i seen such a pretty house!"

"Gonna buy it?" asked Rick.

"Give me the paperwork" said Down. "I'm gonna."

"You made the right choice." said Rick, while grinning a grin. What he had neglected to tell his client was thay the upstairs was completly damaged....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A girl named Yu was being held captive by a tribe of goblins...

The goblins were very particular about how they did things, as they enjoyed toying with their captives. They all had a bizarre sense of humor.

“Let me go!” shouted Yu, who was suspended twenty feet in the air by ropes and pulleys. The goblins just chuckled at the fact that they knew she could...

Astley paradox

If you ask Rick Astley for a DVD of the movie Up, he won't give it to you because he's never gonna give you Up. However, by not giving you Up like you asked for, he's letting you down.

A man named Rick walks into his room after a long day of work and sees his wife crying on their bed.

He askes her what it was all about and she said that she had been threatened by someone she thought was her friend earlier that evening.

Now, Rick has no idea how to handle this, so goes to confront his friend Lee, who has some experience with things like this.

After a long discussion...

Rick Astley Walks Into a Bar

I'd tell you what happened but I can't post YouTube links.

Trying to play the new official Rick Astley boardgame.

But the instructions just say ‘You know the rules, and so do I”

Of course JFK was a Rick and Morty fan.

His brain was so big that it covered an entire car, after all.

There is a timeline where Rick doesn’t make Rick Roll

He tried to write a song, but instead he gave up. He let himself down. He ran away and deserted the idea. He cried, he said goodbye, he even lied to and hurt himself.

What do you call a Rick Astley song that makes it to the front page?

A rick r/all

Turns out having Rick Astley work at a video rental shop is a bad idea.

We had a lot of complaints of him never giving anyone Up.

A man named Rick went shirt shopping with his wife and asked her:

\- What size should I pick?

\- Pick L, Rick.

Haha that's the funniest s\*\*t I've ever seen.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two neighbors, Sam and Rick, are having a smoke outside their houses.

Sam asks Rick, "Do you like dumb women?"

Rick: Of course not.

Sam: What about women who drink like a fish and smoke like a chimney?

Rick: Why would I love someone like that?

Sam: What about women who can't cook?

Rick: Hell no. Why are you asking me all this?
...

You walk into a bar and see Rick Astley sitting alone

You sit next to him and start talking

Eventually, the conversation leads to talk of your favorite Pixar movies

Rick tells you that his favorite of all time is Up, he even owns a physical copy of the movie with bonus features

You say that you've always wanted to see it but never ...

I didn't know what bad music was until i met Rick Astley

He was the one to introduce me to lil Pump

Why doesn't Rick Harrison ever commit a crime and then pin it on another person?

Because he'd have to get a buddy of his, and frame him. He's taking all the risk here.

This is not a Rick Roll

>!Guys seriously, it's not.!< >!But!< >!did!< >!you!< >!expect the Spanish!< >!Inq!< >!uisition?!<

Apparently rick Astley is really stingy with his Disney DVD collection.

Yeah he’ll share toy story, but he’s never gonna give you Up.

What do you call a Irish man bouncing off the walls?

Rick O Shea

Did you guys hear that Rick Astley committed a crime that got him on death row?

He’s going to be XcQted.

Why did the waitress say when Rick Astley asked to fast track his order of apple pie and vanilla ice cream?

I"m never gonna run around and dessert you.

Rick Astley: What do you want for your birthday? ...

Wife: Pixar's “Up” on DVD.
Rick Astley: No.

Did you know that Rick Astley is actually a very generous person and an extensive movie collector?

It's true! He'll actually let you have just about any movie in his collection, with only one exception: The Disney/Pixar movie "Up." This particular movie is a favorite of his and he keeps it on a shelf so high that you actually have to get a ladder and climb it just to reach the movie. Be carefu...

Why did Rick and Morty go to Goodwill?

To get thrifty.

What did Rick say to the Chinese chef ?

More tea

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Rick is in the 10th year of a life sentence when he gets a new cellmate, Carl.

...after taking some time to size Carl up and decide that he can trust him, Rick tells Carl about his plan to escape.

"You see, " Rick says "for the first 5 years I was inside, I trained my digestive system to follow my command. Now I can eat something and it comes out broken down into its co...

Rick Astley came to my house today to get some films for his kids.

I said " you can have the lion King and cinderella, but I'm never gonna give you Up"

My brother keeps saying that my friend Rick is 2 meters tall, but I KNOW he's closer to 6 feet.

He doesn't think I've metric.

What do you call a bulletproof Irishman?

Rick O'Shea

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The man with a corkscrew dick

This is the story of runaway Rick,

The only man with a corkscrew dick,

He searched the world from pole to pole,

To find a woman with a corkscrew hole,

The day he found her he nearly dropped dead,

The woman he found had a left hand thread.

I used to date Rick Astley.

I guess you could say that we’re no strangers to love.

What did Rick say when he wanted to apologise to his girlfriend?

We're no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy

I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand

Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run...

Help! I'm stuck on Rick Astley's roof

He took away the ladder and said he is never gonna let me down.

What is La-Z-Boy's actual name?

Rick Liner

I was phoned by Rick Astley, who asked me to borrow some Pixar DVD's...

I said "Fair enough You can have 'Toy Story', 'A Bug's Life' and 'Finding Nemo' but I'm never gonna give you 'Up'".

Did you know that Rick Astley only tunes his guitar up?

Because he never lets it down.

It's my cake day today, so I'll give you one of my favourite jokes.

What do you call an Irish man bouncing off the walls?


Rick O Shea

Rick Astley would lend you his whole Pixar movie collection...

...because he's a nice guy. But he won't ask for them back because he knows they'll be Together Forever with You

Rick Astley’s guide to password management

* Never going to give you out
* Never going to write you down
* Never going to run around and reuse you

Why didn't rick astley help the victims of a building on fire?

He refused to let them down

Why Won't Michigan Governor Rick Snyder Take Any Flint Tap Water With Him Overseas In Order To Stick To His Promise That He'd Drink It For A Full Month...?

Because he can't get it through the airport metal detectors.

90% of Rick and Morty fanboys think they're Rick...

... when in reality they're Jerry.

What do Rick and Morty fans and Reddit have in common?

...

I don't know, you're all geniuses; You tell me!

Forgive me if it's a repost, I am not sure.

Rick: What is the name of your car?

Edward: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.

Rick: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol

This year in Heaven the Christmas celebration was also a costume party. Everyone dressed up.

Many people came as movie characters, from Gandalf the Grey (and White) to Jason Bourne to Black Widow to Harry Potter. Alan Rickman went as Hans Gruber, which made St. Peter exclaim "See, Die Hard IS a Christmas movie!" St. Peter was dressed as the "Fragile" lamp from A Christmas Story. Moses showe...

My girlfriend climaxed at the season finale of Rick and Morty

She also climaxed at the finale of Iron fist.

And again at the season Finale of Game of Thrones.

She keeps coming to conclusions

What do Lifeguards and Rick and Morty's Space cruiser have in common?

Keep Summer Safe

I missed the latest episode of Rick & Morty

Boy, do I feel stupid now.

What is Rick Grimes' favourite type of crisps?

Walkers

Did you hear about the Irishman who was impervious to bullets?

His name was Rick O'Shea

One day a trendy drug addict named Rick hallucinates having a conversation with his drugs.

"Never gonna give you up." he says.

"Never gonna let you down." replied the drugs.

"Is Rick rolling in style again?" asked his friends.

I asked Rick Harrison for change for a Dollar,

He told me that the best he could do is 50 cents and that he is taking all the risks.

Paul Manafort, Rick Gates, and Donald Trump go out to a bar. Who picks up the tab?

Vladimir Putin

Fpfizer is Pfantastic!

I got the Phfzer vaccine and so pfar I've had no pflu symptoms. I pfeel just pfine which is pfantastic.



Thanks Rick Arron whoever you are. Pfunny guy.

What's the difference between Rick Grimes and Carl Grimes?

Rick Grimes has two I's....

I rode on an elevator to the eleventh floor and the operator jammed the door and introduced himself as Rick.

"Let me out, Rick! This isn't my floor!" I begged.

He smiled. "Never gonna give you up. Never gonna let you down."

Why do they spell it "honour" and "favour" in the United Kingdom?

Because Rick Astley is British.

The Lord Promised 3 things

Pslam 147:3, he won’t leave you broken hearted.

John 6:37, he won’t reject you.

Hebrew 13:5, he won’t leave you nor forsake you.

Basically, he will never give you up, let you down, run around and desert you, never gonna let you cry, or say goodbye, he will never tell a lie and h...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.