My kink went from gross to illegal

I like to have my face touched...by 6 feet

What's the difference between a kink and a fetish?

One involves a feather. The other involves the whole bird.

Stop kink shaming me!

I get it, I need a new hose.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

What is Vlad the Impaler's kink?

Ass to mouth

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

The coronavirus is a lot like a kinky sex life:

I don't mind having it, but I'm scared my parents have it too.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

When people dress in fully body suits of their favourite animals, a sexual kink isn't implied

It's infurred.

Her: I have kink-shaming fetish

Me: That's messed up

Her: (moans softly)

What do you call a dom that has an army kink?

a tank top

People shouldn't be shamed for their kinks. Me, I get really turned on when someone smells like musty sweat and coal.

But I always get called a monster when I admit to being attracted to miners.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

My wife is a champ for putting up with my sexual kinks

She takes it on the chin

She told me I was being rude for kink-shaming her...

All I said was, "Karen, stop yelling at the customer service rep."

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Nobody should be ashamed of what their sexual kink is, unless your kink is being humiliated.

Then you should be very ashamed you nasty little pervert.

The hose was twisted water could barely get out. It drizzled weakly.

Sorry this is my kink.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

I have a little bit of every kink.

I'm a jerk-of-all trades.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

My wife has this weird kink, where she loves to bite and suck my foreskin after sex

Kind of makes me wish I threw it out after the circumcision

Blacksmith: "I'm almost done with this sword, I just need to work out the kinks."

Sword: "Hit me more!"

Went to a kink shop with my coworkers

We had some great team bonding

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

My kink is to have sex under hypnosis.

I guess I'm trancesexual.

What do girls with a daddy kink call their real dad?

Nothing, it goes straight to voicemail.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

I was hangin' with a couple of buddies

We got really toasted & for some reason we got on the subject of porn. Weird porn. Incest porn, furry porn. Just some kinks. One of my buds pulls up a weird incest/furry porn that was really unwatchable for me. We scrolled through some thumbnails and I said "stop, go back, that one." He clicked ...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Discussing my new-found kink has been rough

It turns out the only thing I am sexually attracted to is final scene from the movie Heat. I've tried to talk to my friends about it



But nobody wants to hear how I came to that conclusion.

What does a girl with a fruit and daddy kink call her significant other?

Papaya

Whatโ€™s Sean Conneryโ€™s kink?

Bondage

I would help with your bdsm kink

My hands are tied at the moment though.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

My porn kink is naked girls smoking pot.

I'm a weed wacker.

I kink my neck so often...

I'm starting to think I'm secretly into BDSM

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

What do you call an Italian sex kink?

*FETISHINNI*

Why is it best to visit your chiropractor for your fetishes?

Because they will help you work out your kinks.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A guy goes to a therapist

Patient: I think I have a problem. I don't want to have sex with my wife anymore. Only thing I can get off to is porn.

Therapist: Have you tried to stop watching porn for awhile?

Patient: Yes. I've tried everything. I keep going back to porn. It just scratches my itch that real sex can...

My girlfriend asked me if we could explore her denial kink more.

I said no.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Me and my girlfriend have been together for 3 years now NSFW

Me and my girlfriend have been together for 3 years now and the vanilla sex stuff really got us bored. So we decided to finally step up the game. We tried blindfolds, wax, tying each other up but it was just not working for us. I brought up the topic of anal but she was really scared of it because i...

I've developed a new method of excercise that strengthens your fetishes rather than your body.

It's good in concept, but I haven't worked out there kinks yet.

I want to become an expert in BDSM

But Iโ€™m still working out all the kinks

What do you call an ape with a fetish?

Kink Kong

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

35 year old me: In the 30 years I've been wiping my own ass, I've never quite gotten the hang of it.

My friend: wait...you didn't start wiping your own ass until you were 5?

Me: No I was 3, but that chick I dated for a while after my divorce had some weird kinks.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

The Particular Gardener (OC)

A gardener was starting a new job on a beautiful property, its driveway lined with fir trees, peacocks roaming the grounds, and a beautiful water feature in the middle of the round drive-end in front of what could only be described as a mansion.

As he hopped out of his truck this rather elega...

What's something that can stop water but never fails to make someone wet?

A kink.

โ€œGoing down the rabbit holeโ€ is an expression meaning to enter into a strange or complicated situation,

And also to a person exploring their new furry kink.

Iโ€™ve opened up a gym helping ageing rock bands get back into shape. Itโ€™s going okay so far...

Just working out the Kinks.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

So this guy meets a girl at the bar

So this guy meets a girl at the bar and after a few drinks they go back to her place. Going hot and heavy at it he goes down on her. While he's eating her out a kernel of corn comes out. He finds it odd but keeps going. Then a piece of carrot comes out and he thinks to himself, "wow this chick is in...

I have fetish for twisting up water hoses

Some would call it a kink

BDSM while being dressed as a Knight

BDSM while being dressed as a Knight is my absolute weakness.

You can say that it is a Kink in my Armour.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

I'm afraid our fetish-friendly sex robot won't be ready on time.

We haven't worked out all the kinks yet.

I need help writing a BDSM joke.

I'm having trouble working out all the kinks.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

i'm working on a porn filtering app that would show only vanilla porn...

but I can't work out the kinks

Apple Products

My friend asked me why I don't like Apple products. Told her that the cables remind me of my ex-gf, white and kink-free.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Sex robots will soon be common place....

They just need to work out all the kinks.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Why is it detrimental to have a robot with repressed sexual interests?

It has some kinks to work out.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

The bike accident

Two weeks before his wedding day the groom-to-be is riding his bike when suddenly a child wanders in front of him. To avoid hitting him he swerves, hits a tree and at the force of impact is thrown forward ramming his penis into the handle bars of the bike.

He's immediately rushed to the hos...

I want to open a gym for people with fetishes.

It's a great idea in theory, but I'm still trying to work out the kinks.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

My friend's a psychology major.

He's writing his thesis on the psychology of sexual fetishes. It's not ready yet, though- he still has some kinks to work out.

What's the difference between a gardener and a pimp?

A gardener doesn't want his hose to have kinks.

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