UPJOKE
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If you're looking for a needle in a haystack...

...you should probably be more concerned about confronting your horse concerning his drug problem.

What do a haystack and an anti-vaxxer’s kid have in common?

It’s rare to find a needle in either of them.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I finally convinced my girlfriend to have sex on a haystack.

When we were ready, she said "Now we only need to find the needle."

Whenever anybody says they are trying to find a needle in a haystack, I cant help but wonder...

...who was shooting up in the barn?

It doesn't matter how hard it is to find a needle in a haystack...

...what matters is that if that's something you're concerned about, your horse's drug use has gotten out of control and the whole farm might be at risk..

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Her: "Hey, you wanna play hide n seek" ? Me: "Not really.."

Her: "You can fuck me if you find me.."

Me: "What if I can't find you" ?

Her: "I'll be over there, behind the haystack.."

There are three people running from the cops. One was a brunette, one was a redhead, and one was a blonde.

Eventually, they find a barn and try to hide from the police.

The brunette decides to hide in a haystack, the redhead decides to hide in a horse trough, and the blonde decides to hide in a bunch of potato sacks.

When the police come by the haystack, they hear a rustle.

"What was...

An eighty-six year old lady was being interviewed by the quizmaster on TV...

quizmaster: "You look wonderful."

old lady: "Yes...I've never had a sick day in my life."

quizmaster: "I'm astonished! You've never been bedridden even once?"



old lady: "Oh, many times. And three times in the haystack."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three dudes sneak into a barn

So, three dudes sneak into a barn, and they're forced to sleep on the same haystack.
The morning after, the dude on the left says, "I had a dream that I was getting the best handjob!"
The dude on the right says, "Holy shit, I had the same dream!" The dude in the middle goes,"I dreamt that I ...

The devotee and the mad elephant

There once was a wise Guru who lived in a temple. He had several devotees who studied under him. Every day, he would teach them things about God and world.

"Guru, where is God?" asked a devotee one day.

"Everywhere, my son," said Guru.

"Everywhere?"

"Yes, everywhere. In e...

Translated Chinese joke

Good news: Today is the little Johnny's first time flying!

Bad news: The engine caught fire as soon as he took off

Good news: He took a parachute with him so he could bail out

Bad news: The parachute failed midair

Good news: He saw a huge stack of hay right beneath him...

Heroin use among horses have grown

But finding the evidence is like finding a needle in a haystack.

Two old jokes my dad told me

These are two jokes my dad used to tell me when I was a kid.
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Unfortunately, a man fell out of an airplane.

Fortunately, there was a haystack below him.

Unfortunately, there was a pitchfork in the haystack.

Fortunately, he missed the pitchfork.

Un...

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman

Found themselves aboard a plane that is about to crash. The Englishman decides he would rather die on his own terms and yells "god save me" and jumped. Miraculously he landed on a haystack safe and sound. The Irishman, seeing this, thinks he too might as well give it a try. So he yells out loud "god...

A man was driving around the countryside in his new sports car, moving at speeds that bordered on unsafe.

A man was driving around the countryside in his new sports car moving at speeds that bordered on unsafe. When checking his rear-view mirror he noticed that a small object followed by a trail of dust was closing fast. His curiosity piqued he slowed a bit to get a better look. As the object came into ...

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde rob a bank and lose the cops long enough to find a place to hide.

They drive until they find an empty barn, ditch their car, and duck inside just as they start to hear sirens. The brunette hides in a barrel, the redhead hides in a haystack, and the blonde hides in a burlap sack, and shortly thereafter, a police officer comes into the barn to search for them.
...

Did you hear about the farmer who was a heroin addict?

He had to quit in the end, because he couldn't find a needle in a haystack.

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