UPJOKE
breakrevealdelivergiftgiveoutbetrayletrenderdonatehand overdivulgediscloseexposeoffer

Bill Gates has often claimed how hard it is to give away 100 billion dollars.

Then he discovered divorce.

Why do atheists give away all their unnecessary money?

They’re a non-prophet organization

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm doing a free Bra give away.

Send me a picture of your tits and I'll see if there's something that fits you.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife is a compulsive plant freak. She's filled our house with all manner of potted plants that she picks up at yard sales and give aways!

I think she's a hoarder-culturist.

When I was a kid, I had a lemonade stand. I'd give away the first glass for free and charge $20 for the second.

The refill contained the antidote.

Oysters hate to give away their pearls

Because they are shellfish.

Ellen should give away more stuff

Then rename her show Ellen the Generous.

To give away - One broken guitar...

No strings attached.

I decided to give away all of my old batteries

Free of charge

If you have four tea cups, then give away half, what are you left with?

A joke that doesn't translate well to text.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Hindu, a Muslim and a Christian are passing through a forest.

Each of them are carrying a dozen bananas.

Suddenly, 3 monkeys jump down from the trees, snatch away their bananas and climb back up the trees.

The Hindu joins his hands together and says to the 1st monkey, "Please return my bananas, O Hanuman!" The monkey doesn't care and starts to e...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A gas station owner in Arkansas was trying to increase his sales, so he put up a sign that read: *** "FREE SEX w/fill-up ... just guess the right number between 1 & 10.” ***

Soon a local redneck pulled in, filled his tank, and asked for his FREE SEX.
The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly, he would get his FREE SEX.
The redneck guessed ‘8’. The proprietor said, "You were close. The number was ‘7’. Sorry, but no FREE SEX thi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Joke: Creation

*Seems God was just about done creating the universe, but He had two extra things left in his bag of creations, so He decided to split them between Adam and Eve. He told the couple that one of the things He had to give away was the ability to stand up while urinating.*

*"It's a very hand...

Homemade and 100% organic

Since it's my cake day, I'll give y'all a joke that I created by myself. One that tickles me.

Two car salesman were talking to each other about their sales. They were really impressed with the commissions they were making with electric cars. Then, one of them asked, "Why doesn't Dodge sel...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I (31m) just had the most uncomfortable experience of my life

I've always kinda wanted an iPhone but never had one before, so I go to the Apple Store to have a look. So there I am, when this middle aged guy comes up next to me, like really close. And then he starts asking me if I like the new iPhone, what do I think about the camera, am I thinking of getting o...

Best Salesman of the year

At a sales conference, one of the awards went to Matthew for best salesman. He’d sold a record quantity of mouthwash. After he’d been presented with his award, he was asked for the secret of his success.

“Oh it’s simple really,” said Matthew. “I set up a mobile stall during rush-hour and give...

The King's horse

Ali was the man that everyone in the kingdom knew was the most generous man. One day he had done a huge favor for the king and he was rewarded a horse.

When Amen found out he went to see Ali. Ali was so overjoyed to have a guest he had Amen sit down a wait for him to make him a meal. An h...

What’s the definition of a will?

Come on guys, it’s a dead give away!

WHEN A FLY FALLS INTO A CUP OF COFFEE

WHEN A FLY FALLS INTO A CUP OF COFFEE . . .
The Italian – throws the cup, breaks it, and walks away in a fit of rage.
The German – carefully washes the cup, sterilizes it and makes a new cup of coffee.
The Frenchman – takes out the fly, and drinks the coffee.
The Chinese – eats the fly a...

A Priest, A Minister, and a Rabbi are out playing golf...

A Priest, A Minister, and a Rabbi are out playing Golf and they come across a bag full of money. They all agree that, clearly this is a gift from God and that they should keep some and give some away but they can't agree on how to decide how much of each.

The Priest says, "Alright, how about ...

There are two secrets to being rich and successful.

1. Don't give away everything you know.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.