UPJOKE
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My parents are always telling me that their world doesn't revolve around me

So....I guess that means that I'm not actually their sun :(

One Sunday, with one hand motion, God caused the Earth to begin to revolve around the Sun. "What should we call it when it goes all the way around?" asks Adam.

"A year," God replied.

Now, he made another hand motion, and the Earth began to rotate on a tilted axis.

"What should we call it when it rotates all the way around?" Adam asks.

God sighs and takes a seat on the grass below. "Let's call it a day."

How many millennials does it take to screw in a light bulb?

1 to hold the bulb and wait for the world to revolve around them!

How many Karens did it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One.

She just holds the lightbulb in the socket and expects the rest of the world to revolve around her.

How does Trump change a light bulb?

He holds the bulb in the socket and waits for the universe to revolve around him.

Im not saying my ex girlfriend was fat

But all my thoughts revolve around her

How many Yale students does it take to change a lightbulb?

*One to hold the bulb up to the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them, three to scream at the circuit breaker and belittle it for controlling power, and eight others to console the first four while they tweet about how problematic this traumatic experience has been for everyone.*

How many Mac owners does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One. He or she just stands there holding the bulb out waiting for the world to revolve around them..... or goes out and buys an adapter first to make the bulb compatible!

Just some jokes about musicians.

How do you know the stage at a concert is level?
Drool is coming out of both sides of the drummers mouth.

What do you call a drummer with no girlfriend?
Homeless.

What do floutists eat for breakfast?
Flute loops.

How do you tune three oboeists?
Shoot 2 of them.
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