What do you call the connection between a family of Force users?

The Force Kin.

"Windows was unable to establish a network connection"

"would you like to go online to find further assistance?"

The internet connection at my farm was really poor, so I moved the modem to the barn.

Now I have stable wifi

An engineer dies and goes to hell.

He's hot and miserable, so he decides to take action. The A/C has been busted for a long time, so he fixes it. Things cool down quickly. The moving walkway motor is jammed, so he unjams it. People can get from place to place more easily. The TV was grainy and unclear, so he fixes the connection to t...

Fighting COVID-19 by contact tracing and quarantining those with connections to infected people means that...

Poor Kevin Bacon never gets to leave his home.

Years ago, Nobel peace prize winner Liu Xiaobo died in custody under Xi Jinping, who denied any connection to the incident.

They said it’s a matter of “He said, Xi said.”

Had an issue remotely connecting to an Australian PC.

Connection was blocked by the firewall.

Three men die and appear before Buddha...

Stunned by the divine presence before them, they lower their heads.

\-Raise your heads. You were humble in life and your deeds were praiseworthy. You have earned the right to a reincarnation of your choice. You have much to accomplish yet though.

One of the people takes a step forwa...

Poor planning?

Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "it was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "no, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The l...

An old man goes to the doctor for a physical.

The doctor tells the man the results are fine and asks him how he is doing.

"I feel great!" he replied, "God and I have made a really strong connection lately."

The doctor find this a little odd, but is respectful and asks "How so?"

The man says "Well, when I wake up to pee in t...

Windows loves to troll me

Windows: "the device wasn't able to connect to internet due to connection error"

Also windows:" would you like to go online to search for a solution".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man visits court to ask for a name change

"Hi there, I would like to change my name, please", the man says.

"I see... Why exactly do you want to change your name?", the clerk asked.

"Well, I was named after my father but he abandoned us while I was a baby so I don't feel any connection to it."

"I understand but we can't...

Russian Connection

If the internet disconnects in Russia, do they call it the internyet?

An American, Frenchman, Israeli, Spaniard, and a German are on a video call. Their boss logs in and starts the meeting by askng "How's my connection, can everybody see me alright?" They answer:

"yes", "oui", "ken", "si", "ja"

I heard wired connections are faster...

So I poured some coffee on my router and now it's even slower...Do I need another java update?

What do you call a modem in a safe?

A secure connection.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There is a new toilet system being trialled.

It has a built in Internet connection.

It will automatically post your shit on Facebook, Twitter and TikTok.

Today while FaceTiming , my crush stared at me for an hour so I stared back at him .

Turns out his internet connection was very slow and asked me if I had the same problem too .

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Thought you'd like to know.

A Kansas farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called, and that on a few occasions when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang.

The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog o...

The class of 1950 gets together for their class reunion. Not many people are left, but two of the 10 people to attend were Harry, an 88 year old widower, and Esther, an 87 year old divorcee.

Over the course of the evening, they had a great time chatting about old times and their families. They each felt a real connection and by the time the night was out, Harry had proposed and Esther has happily accepted.

The next morning, Harry woke up and was frustrated to realize that he cou...

An astronaut was trying to communicate with the control room but the connection kept breaking up.

Annoyed, he yelled out "What on Earth are you talking about?".

I hadn't put my own picture up on my dating profile, just a picture of my pickup

I hadn't put my own picture up on my dating profile, just a picture of my pickup. But that's okay, because she'd just put a picture of her dog. I sent her a message, something almost-clever like "your dog can ride in my pickup any time," and she responded.

We clicked pretty quickly, and sta...

Why can't pigs hear each other on the phone?

Because they have a pork connection.

My friend told me that for minimal lag i should use an analogue connection instead of Bluetooth for my speaker system....

Sound advice.

What do you call a connection between two points in space-time through which only dragons can pass?

A wyrmhole.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Wife is missing.

Husband:

My wife is missing.

She went out yesterday and has not come home...



Sergeant at Police Station:

What is her height?



Husband:

Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.



Sergeant:

Weight?



Husb...

I have an unpredictable connection with my tap.

It's a hot and cold relationship.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman makes a deal with the Devil to gain wealth and power, but doesn't want to go to Hell.

The Devil makes a little rule for the woman. She happily agrees and thus, the contract is sealed.

She goes onto be the best stockbroker in her city, giving her a near bottomless checkbook and connections to lawmakers, celebrities, anyone with even a scrap of power in the city.


Almo...

The artist named “Feat” has a monopoly on the music industry and should be tracked down.

Every time I see a song, Feat is always on it. This is too suspicious, and must mean he has a monopoly on the recording industry. Maybe he has parents with connections, maybe he is holding someone hostage, or maybe it is something much worse. What is apparent though, is that he is definitely breakin...

Why didn’t the fisherman care about his wireless internet connection?

Because either-net works when he’s catfishing.

What happened to the single IT technician when he tried to flirt with a barista at a cafe?

He was unable to make a connection to the server

Hello, God?

In an effort to combat religious bigotry, the leaders of the world's largest religions decided to show solidarity by organizing a world tour, where they would all visit each other in their respective seats of power.

The first stop on the tour was the Vatican where the Pope welcomed the group ...

My internet connection and my diet are missing one thing in common...

Fiber

[long] My company is locked down and I am required to work from home

I'm used to working in an open office space so this is a huge change for me. In order to make the transition as easy as possible, I have prepared my home office so remind me of work.

* I've purchased a piece of Limburger cheese and placed it on a plate in the middle of the room to remind me o...

What is the difference between Russia and reality?

Trump had connections with Russia.

A man walks through the Central Park in New York City

Suddenly he sees a dog attacking a small girl. He runs towards them, starts a fight with the dog and finally kills it. So he saves the life of the girl.

A policeman was watching them, walks to the man and says:

You are a hero! Tomorrow in the new York Times the first headline will be: ...

Mueller: Please tell me why you have so many suspicious Russian connections.

Trump: I have a perfectly treasonable explanation!

During quarantine - Lonely at home

I am lonely at home quarantined:

Day 1. Oh, that's nice.

Day 3. I read books and rest.

Day 5. I bingwatched "Friends".

Day 7. I talked to the washing machine, but I had worse days.

Day 9. My washing machine is angry. I never had worse days.

Day 11. I'm fine…...

My grandma and I were face timing with a bad connection

So she says, "hold on, let me open the door to let some WiFi's in."


True stories can be jokes too..

What is a pirate's least favorite letter?

Dear Sir/Ma'am,

We are cutting your internet connection due to the following reasons:

Illegal Downloading

I've always had a deep connection with mirrors

I see a lot of myself in them

A goat gets its wish granted by a genie

He wishes to be turned into a human being. After his transformation, the, now, man is so grateful to the genie. He asks "How can I ever repay you?"

The genie just has this request: That the man make the most of his life and live like no man has lived before; love like no man has loved before;...

I was in a couple's home trying to fix their Internet connection.

The husband called out to his wife in the other room for the computer password. "Start with a capital S, then 123," she shouted back.

We tried S123 several times, but it didn't work. So we called the wife in. As she input the password, she muttered, "I really don't know what's so difficult ab...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was talking to his therapist about finding the right woman.

A man was sitting in his therapist’s office telling him about how he finally managed to find the right woman, after a whopping 3 divorces.

He says, “well the first wife was quite the fireball and we had good chemistry, but she was a fitness instructor and during sex always yelled ‘HARDER! STR...

My internet connection is just like my Ex-Girlfriend

Unstable

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Got Wood ? (long-ish)

Tommy is born missing an eye. He’s always been self conscious about it and at a young age he gets a wooden eye so that he looks like he has two eyes. Even though the wooden eye makes him look like he has two eyes, he is still very self conscious. He has never been on a date and at the prom, he goes ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the connection between the Star Trek Enterprise and toilet paper?

They both travel around Uranus looking for Klingons.

Some network jokes

"Hi, I'd like to hear a TCP joke."

"Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"

"Yes, I'd like to hear a TCP joke."

"OK, I'll tell you a TCP joke."

"Ok, I will hear a TCP joke."

"Are you ready to hear a TCP joke?"

"Yes, I am ready to hear a TCP joke."

...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you know that Einstein married his Cousin

Did you know that Einstein married his Cousin,
Elsa Lowenthal, after his first marriage failed in 1919.?

At the time he stated that he was attracted to Elsa "because she was so well endowed".

He postulated that if you are attracted to women with large mammary glands, the attraction...

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