Why are farmers, who take good inventory of their cows, so efficient at chemical reactions?

Because they have a cattle list.

Library Inventory

A librarian in a small book collection is just finishing up the process of cataloging his physical inventory and is combing through the stacks to double-check his work. Suddenly, he sees a bit of crinkled cover just peeking out behind a shelf in the very back of the building. Confused, he steps quie...

Why is it hard to keep inventory in Afghanistan?

Because of the tally ban.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man wins a lifetime supply of carrots,

After learning about this fortunate occurence, he celebrated and patiently awaited the arrival of the tasty product.

A few days later, he heard knocking at his door and investigated. A delivery man offered him 12 bags of carrots, congratulated him on his winnings, and left.

This contin...

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A joke about blackboards, and yes it is a ‘chalk’ pun, so don’t get your hopes up

Two guys, Will and Arnie, are warehouse workers for a company that sells blackboards. Every morning on the shipping dock, their job is to take the blackboards from inventory and load them into the delivery trucks. Now, the thing is, the company has started to ramp up production, and they’ve been fil...

A zookeeper was doing his rounds one day

He had with him a rucksack and a broom. He had to inspect all the cages and make sure they were clean. First he checked on the bird sanctuary. Aside from Some droppings there were 2 dead birds on the ground. He scooped them into his rucksack and moved on.
Next, he checked the primate cages and he...

Boss: "If I catch you sleeping on the job again, you're fired!"

Me: "I understand. Won't happen again."

Boss: "Now go inventory the sheep."

Me: "Oh no!"

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When I first became an Ancap.....

>When I first became an Ancap, I was just an unemployed high schooler who had never worked a labor job in his entire life. I had that whole "welfare recipients are parasites, just pull yourself up by your bootstraps, forcing people to subsidize your shitty life choices is morally wrong, nobody is...

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A list of puns

Here's a list of puns I've been collecting:

How do you throw a space party? You planet.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

Nope. Unintended.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but everyone was blow away by the leaf blower.

A scarecrow says,...

From behind me while walking downtown I heard a gentleman bellow, "Ho Ho Ho!"

I thought it was Santa Claus but I turned around and it was just a pimp taking inventory.

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An Italian guy, a Polish guy, and a Japanese guy all apply for a job at an office.

The manager hires all three and tells the Italian, "Ok, you take care of the inventory". Tells the Polish guy, "You take care of accounting" and tells the Japanese guy, "You take care of supplies."


The manager comes back after an hour and sees the Italian guy and the Polish guy working, ...

The General's Report

An Army general was in Washington for a meeting and decided to call his base for a report. A young private answered the phone.

"I'd like an inventory report of the base please," stated the general.

The private had not dealt with such a request before and thought it was a fellow private...

I work in a grocery store...

One day while taking inventory in the breakfast isle, I asked my coworker

"Could you read me the serial number on the box there?"

He replied "Zero zero zero, zero zero.....zero zero."

"Damnit Mark! Those are Froot Loops!"

What's the most frustrating part about being a sheep farmer?

Every time you try to take inventory, you fall asleep.

Two retired gentlemen meet while sunning themselves on the beach

They get to talking about themselves.

One says, "I was in the retail business. I started out with a tiny clothing shop, and through a lifetime of long hours and hard work, built my way up to a nice department store. Things got tough when the chain stores started moving in. Then, tragedy. A fi...

Three guys are walking in the desert...

After they are walking for a while they start talking and taking inventory of their supplies.

The first man says that he brought a sandwich, so if they get hungry they will have something to eat.

The second man says that he brought water, so they can stay hydrated on their journey.
...

What are some life lessons

A teacher sent kids home with an assignment to find something that teaches a life lesson. The next day Mary goes first and says "our chickens laid eight eggs so I thought we'd have 8 chicks, but only 5 hatched" teacher asks "what was the lesson?" Mary says "don't count your chickens before they hatc...

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It's an XO (Navy Executive Officer)'s last day before retirement...

...and the Captain comes up to him and tells him that upon finishing his nightly duties, he is to inventory everything on the entire ship and have it on the Captain's desk by the next morning at 0700.

The XO grins widely and says "Aye aye, sir!"

The Captain looks at him for a moment an...