An Apple Store in Minneapolis reported losing $200,000 in inventory to riot-related theft.

'Thankfully the looters took nothing but two iPhones' the store's associate manager said.

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An Italian guy, a Polish guy, and a Japanese guy all apply for a job at an office.

The manager hires all three and tells the Italian, "Ok, you take care of the inventory". Tells the Polish guy, "You take care of accounting" and tells the Japanese guy, "You take care of supplies."


The manager comes back after an hour and sees the Italian guy and the Polish guy working,...

What do you call an inventory list of to-be-shredded media?

A shredsheet

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a list of puns!

Here's a list of puns I've been collecting:

How do you throw a space party? You planet.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

Nope. Unintended.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but everyone was blow away by the leaf blower.

A scarecrow says,...

A bartender has a drink ready for his customer every evening.

He’s a doctor and every time he finishes work he comes to the bar for a hazelnut daiquiri. One night, the bar is all out of hazelnuts. The bartender rummages through the inventory but is only able to find hickory nuts. He improvises a drink in the nick of time.

The doctor comes in rig...

Stock check for Charlie!

It's that time of the month for a young lady, so she goes into a drug store looking for pack of her usual brand. She sees that particular shelf is empty, so asks the older woman at the checkout if they have any large Tampax in stock.

The woman replies that they should have inventory back ...

The most famous French chef was found dead, victim of poisoning, and searching for answers they called Inspector Poirot...

The man had no enemies, he owed no one money, there was no motive at all... After a long and fruitless search, the Inspector noticed that a single bottle was missing from the kitchen. He took a quick inventory, then concluded that this was the result of a suicide.

How did he know? Of course, ...

Why are farmers, who take good inventory of their cows, so efficient at chemical reactions?

Because they have a cattle list.

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Coronavirus Pandemic, day 16

If anyone is still out there, I’m alive but struggling. Food is running low. Down to only 459 days worth. My hands are super sanitized and my butt is super clean. Down to 1599 rounds of ammo (dropped 1 round down the heat vent while doing daily inventory). Power still on, but for how long? Missing h...

Why is it hard to keep inventory in Afghanistan?

Because of the tally ban.

Library Inventory

A librarian in a small book collection is just finishing up the process of cataloging his physical inventory and is combing through the stacks to double-check his work. Suddenly, he sees a bit of crinkled cover just peeking out behind a shelf in the very back of the building. Confused, he steps quie...

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Blonde approaches the customer service counter at a grocery store...

“How can I help you miss?” Says the man behind the counter. “I need to get 80 gallons of milk please”, she replies. “Excuse me?” Says the man “why would you need all that milk for?” . “Well you see, its a beauty tip. You bathe in milk for an hour and your skin appears 10 years younger”, she sa...

Boss: If you fall asleep again today, I'll fire you.

Me: ok

Boss: Now go and do the sheep inventory.

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When I first became an Ancap.....

>When I first became an Ancap, I was just an unemployed high schooler who had never worked a labor job in his entire life. I had that whole "welfare recipients are parasites, just pull yourself up by your bootstraps, forcing people to subsidize your shitty life choices is morally wrong, nobody is...

Boss: "If I catch you sleeping on the job again, you're fired!"

Me: "I understand. Won't happen again."

Boss: "Now go inventory the sheep."

Me: "Oh no!"

A zookeeper was doing his rounds one day

He had with him a rucksack and a broom. He had to inspect all the cages and make sure they were clean. First he checked on the bird sanctuary. Aside from Some droppings there were 2 dead birds on the ground. He scooped them into his rucksack and moved on.
Next, he checked the primate cages and he...

From behind me while walking downtown I heard a gentleman bellow, "Ho Ho Ho!"

I thought it was Santa Claus but I turned around and it was just a pimp taking inventory.

The General's Report

An Army general was in Washington for a meeting and decided to call his base for a report. A young private answered the phone.

"I'd like an inventory report of the base please," stated the general.

The private had not dealt with such a request before and thought it was a fellow private...

What's the most frustrating part about being a sheep farmer?

Every time you try to take inventory, you fall asleep.

I work in a grocery store...

One day while taking inventory in the breakfast isle, I asked my coworker

"Could you read me the serial number on the box there?"

He replied "Zero zero zero, zero zero.....zero zero."

"Damnit Mark! Those are Froot Loops!"

Two retired gentlemen meet while sunning themselves on the beach

They get to talking about themselves.

One says, "I was in the retail business. I started out with a tiny clothing shop, and through a lifetime of long hours and hard work, built my way up to a nice department store. Things got tough when the chain stores started moving in. Then, tragedy. A fi...

Three guys are walking in the desert...

After they are walking for a while they start talking and taking inventory of their supplies.

The first man says that he brought a sandwich, so if they get hungry they will have something to eat.

The second man says that he brought water, so they can stay hydrated on their journey.
...

What are some life lessons

A teacher sent kids home with an assignment to find something that teaches a life lesson. The next day Mary goes first and says "our chickens laid eight eggs so I thought we'd have 8 chicks, but only 5 hatched" teacher asks "what was the lesson?" Mary says "don't count your chickens before they hatc...

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It's an XO (Navy Executive Officer)'s last day before retirement...

...and the Captain comes up to him and tells him that upon finishing his nightly duties, he is to inventory everything on the entire ship and have it on the Captain's desk by the next morning at 0700.

The XO grins widely and says "Aye aye, sir!"

The Captain looks at him for a moment an...

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