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The guy who wanted to change his name

A guy goes to a registry office to change his name. This is how the conversation goes with the officer:

\- You need to have a convincing reason to change your name, sir.

\- But my name is terrible!

\- Well, what's your name?

\- Johnny Shitface

\- Oh, well, yes that...

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I'm glad we have that sex offender registry.

Without, It would be so much harder to find new, like-minded friends in the neighborhood.

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I went on the sex offender registry and found the addresses of all the sex offenders in my area, and sent them all hate mail.

Just to make sure they read it, I wrote the letters in crayon.

Every time someone is arrested for a crime in Florida, they have to write a long text file describing their motivations for the crime and how it was carried out, so the police can add it to their registry.

Which is why all the stuff that happens in Florida seems so weird without the con-text.

Love at Last!

George, age 92 and Edith, age 89 are all excited about their decision to get married.They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. George suggests they go in and he addresses the man behind the counter.

"Are you the owner? "The pharmacist answers, "Yes". <...

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I can't believe we have a sex offender registry.

I mean, who's buying gifts for these people?

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"Good morning Sir, what's your name?"

"M...M...M...Michael..."

"Oh, i see, you are a stammerer, i am sorry for that!"

"Well no, actually my father was... but the registry office guy was a son of a bitch"...

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DOOM

The police officer approaches me slowly, his hand on his pistol. “Sir, can you please come down from that tree?”

“Not a chance!”

He surveys the destruction all around us. “What happened here?”

I stare at the smoking remains of my house and mutter, “Doom.”

The Police offic...

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Hey, I just found some old 1980's copies of the TV Guide!

Or as they are now known - the sex offenders registry

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Dog called sex

Usually, anyone who owns a dog calls him Rover or Spotor some such name. I called mine Sex and it got me into constant trouble.


One day when he was young, I took Sex for a walk and he slipped out of his collar and ran away. I spent hours looking for him. A policeman came along and asked m...

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LPT: If you've been convicted of a sex crime, change your name to offender.dll

Then no one will be able to find you in the registry.

Today someone told me this joke about the stereotype that we Swabians are stingy

A Swabian goes to the registry office and asks how he can change his name.

The civil servant asks him, why he needs the name change.

The Swabian answers: "I found a box full of business cards in the street yesterday."

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