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Registry Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I can't believe we have a sex offender registry.

I mean, who's buying gifts for these people?

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 was in the 6 offenders registry.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I went on the sex offender registry and found the addresses of all the sex offenders in my area, and sent them all hate mail.

Just to make sure they read it, I wrote the letters in crayon.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

“Good morning Sir, what’s your name?” “M...M...M...Michael...”

"Oh, I see, you are a stammerer, I am sorry for that!"

"Well no, actually my father was... but the registry office guy was a son of a bitch"

Every time someone is arrested for a crime in Florida, they have to write a long text file describing their motivations for the crime and how it was carried out, so the police can add it to their registry.

Which is why all the stuff that happens in Florida seems so weird without the con-text.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The guy who wanted to change his name

A guy goes to a registry office to change his name. This is how the conversation goes with the officer:

\- You need to have a convincing reason to change your name, sir.

\- But my name is terrible!

\- Well, what's your name?

\- Johnny Shitface

\- Oh, well, yes that...

"Treat others the way you want to be treated"

I followed that advice, and now I'm on a registry.

Jacob, age 92, and Beth, age 89, are excited about their decision to get married.

They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a chemist. Jacob suggests they go in.


Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?"...
The pharmacist answers "Yes".


Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"
...

Wembley Tickets- England v Scotland Friday 18th June 2021 Kick off 8pm

One of my best friends has two spare tickets in a corporate box for the England v Scotland game. They were £300 each but he didn't realise they are on the same day as his Covid 19 postponed wedding.

If you are interested he is looking for someone to take his place!

It is at Manchester...

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Hey, I just found some old 1980's copies of the TV Guide!

Or as they are now known - the sex offenders registry

Indian warrior decides to change name

Indian warrior decided to change his name and went to the Registry of BDM(birth,death,marriages)
He approaches the counter and talks to the lady at the counter
Indian: Hello miss.I would like to change my name if it is possible.
Lady: Of course sir,but why would you do that?
Indi...

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LPT: If you've been convicted of a sex crime, change your name to offender.dll

Then no one will be able to find you in the registry.

Today someone told me this joke about the stereotype that we Swabians are stingy

A Swabian goes to the registry office and asks how he can change his name.

The civil servant asks him, why he needs the name change.

The Swabian answers: "I found a box full of business cards in the street yesterday."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An American, a Canadian and a Scotsman get into a car accident...

This is a joke my friend told me... I paraphrase, but the main parts are all there.

An American, a Canadian and a Scotsman get into a car accident... and they all fuckin die. Just like that. BOOM. Dead. No survivors.
Seeing as they all died at the exact same moment, they all arrive at the ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dog called sex

Usually, anyone who owns a dog calls him Rover or Spotor some such name. I called mine Sex and it got me into constant trouble.


One day when he was young, I took Sex for a walk and he slipped out of his collar and ran away. I spent hours looking for him. A policeman came along and asked m...

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