Recovers Jokes

The patient excitedly replies, “I’ll take the good news first.”

The surgeon tells them, “Well, you’re about to get a new dog!”

He watches "The Itchy and Scratchy Show".

Does he have diplomatic immunity?

The Art Of The Heal

... and approaches the teller. He can see from her name tag that her name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation."

Patti stares at the talking frog in disbelief but recovers herself quickly and asks him how much he wants to bo... read more

Desperately, they throw out whatever they have on them. Charles throws out his teapot, Angus throws out his bagpipes and Patrick throws out a bomb. The helicopter recovers and they land safely.

When Charles gets home, he finds his father in the garden crying. When he asks him what happened, ... read more

And I hope he recovers from Coronavirus as well.

A seasoned medical examiner brings his new trainee to their very first crime scene. The grizzled veteran tells the rookie that “this is a messy one – are you sure you can handle it?”

The rookie says “of course – I’ve got this.”

So they go in and it is a mess. All sorts of human bits an... read more

A six-year-old walks into the kitchen where his mom is preparing
a meal and says: "Mom, the last few nights I have woke up to this
thumping noise coming out of your bedroom and when I looked to see
what it is, you're sitting on top of dad and bouncing up and down.
Why are you doing t... read more

Sitting on the counter is a weird, creepy statue. As they walk in, it's eyes seem to follow them.
They approach the bar, and to their shock the statue speaks. "Enjoy your beverages, mortals."

The three are stunned for a moment.
Darwin recovers first.
"This obviously is a product of ... read more

A guy is out with his buddies. He has a few drinks, gets in the mood but true to his wife goes home.

When he gets home he finds her sound asleep in bed with her mouth wide open. He gets two aspirin and drops them into
her mouth.

Of course, she chokes but recovers and asks, "What d... read more

... and they hear a cough. They open the casket and sure enough Susan is alive, apparently having been in a coma which she is coming out of.

She recovers in the hospital and lives another 3 years before she finally passes. At her (second) funeral the eulogies finish and the pallbearers begin... read more

One day, a bassoonist for a symphony got very sick and spent a whole day of rehearsal in the hospital. He recovers and is sent home to see his house surrounded by police cars. He goes up to the officer in charge and asks, "Officer, what happened?"
"Well," the officer said, "while you were away, t... read more