UPJOKE
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Most jokes on here are recycled.

The others are just garbage.

What happened to the car that got recycled?

It was reincarnated.

I saw a documentary about a submarine that recycles 87% of its garbage

But I think this sub is doing even better!

Globally over 99% of asphalt is recycled. It is the second most recycled material in the world, after jokes on reddit

Globally over 99% of asphalt is recycled. It is the second most recycled material in the world, after jokes on reddit

Why does Earth Day not affect /r/jokes?

Because everything is already 100% recycled.

Apple should be commended for using recycled materials in their products. Recycled plastics, recycled aluminum...

...even their phone designs are recycled

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife said this sub is nothing but the same recycled crap over and over.

She is so wrong so I told her to check my history. My last post here says otherwise.

My wife said we need to recycle more.

So I told her I'd go to the biggest recyclers I know for advice.



Hello r/Jokes

I couldn’t decide which joke to recycle for my Blue Cheese Day.

So instead, tell me your best and maybe even... *cheesiest*... joke that you’ve used for your own Blue Cheese Day!!

*Edit: Apparently that’s a* **Cake**. *Damn it. I probably could have found a* sweet *cake joke to use.*

Redditors are very environmentally aware

More than half the content on the front page is recycled

[Possibly not Recycled] A man stands at the edge of a pier...

...working up the nerve to throw himself into the water and end it all. A beat cop walking by sees him and lets out a loud tweet on his whistle.

"Hey buddy, what'dya think you're doing?"

"I've had it! I'm done with this life! I'm going to drown myself, here and now!"

"Now hold o...

Reddit has become great for the planet

Almost all content is now post-consumer recycled

Reuse, Reduce, Recycle!

The three ways to dispose of a body.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you recycle a condom?

Turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it.

What do you call a tire made out of 365 recycled condoms?

A Goodyear

I found a place where the recycle rate is 98%

/r/jokes

Does only being able to recycle number 1 and 2 plastics upset anyone else?

I just moved to a new city and they don’t recycle anything above a 2. Is it like this in a lot of places? I hope I can find somewhere to drop off my other plastics.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Canadian was having a coffee and croissants with butter and jam in a cafe when an American tourist, chewing gum, sat down next to him.

The Canadian politely ignored the American, who, nevertheless started up a conversation.

The American snapped his gum and said, "You Canadian folk eat the whole bread?"

The Canadian frowned, annoyed with being bothered during his breakfast, and replied, "Of course".

The American...

Sweden runs out of trash to recycle...

... Where's PewDiePie when you need him.

Hey Girl, do you recycle?

Because I'd love to crush that box and leave you by the curb tomorrow morning.

Greta Thunberg must love reddit

Most of the content here is recycled

It was announced yesterday that the 2020 Summer Olympics in Tokyo will make all of its medals from recycled cellphones.

Well, they’re going to make the Olympic torch out of a Samsung Galaxy.

Reddit is possibly the most environmentally conscious site on the internet.

Nearly 100% of the content is recycled at some point, often several times.

Reddit has gone fully green to help the environment

Their front page is made up of fully recycled material.

"Do you want to borrow my book of recycled jokes?"

No thanks, I've already Reddit.

I don’t always recycle.

But when I do it hits the front page of reddit.

You can recycle an old brassiere into a face mask. It is important to remember to only use the left cup...

otherwise you will end up looking like a right tit.

My wife asked me if I like to recycle...

"Well yeah of course. It's the only way I can get Karma!"

What do you call recycled calculus jokes?

Derivative humor.

I don't understand people who don't recycle...

Why would you buy a bike and only ride it once?

A man recycled 365 used Condoms.

Pirelli have turned into a Tyre and called it a "Goodyear"

Joke Archeology -- who's heard an older version of this often recycled joke?

I heard this one the first time back in the early 70's.

Richard Nixon and Henry Kissinger were giving a young hippie hitchhiker a ride home in Air Force One from the Camp David Area, they started having engine trouble, unfortunately there were only four parachutes and the drafted pilots ju...

I'm thinking about starting a business that recycles discarded chewing gum...

I just need help getting it off the ground.

A Russian tank is parked up, just outside Kyiv, as dawn breaks...

The driver sticks his head out, feels the morning cold and says *'Chilly today, isn't it?*'.

To which the commander replies, '*No, we haven't finished here yet*'.

(A recycled 1979 Russian invasion of Afghanistan joke)

New Years resolution to recycle water

I am putting a bucket in each shower and using the collected water in the clothes washer. I really don’t care what everyone else at the gym says.

The Three "R's" of Reddit jokes:

Repair, reuse, recycle.

I'm a recycle bin...

I'm not garbage, but I might as well be.

If I had a nickel for every repost/recycled joke I saw on this sub...

Women would find me attractive.

What is the most recycled joke that keeps getting used?

Your mom.

environmentalists discover a secluded community where everybody recycles

r/Jokes

Using recycled material, I've made the kids a stuffed dog for Christmas.

It used to be their real dog.

Did you hear about the new brand of glasses coming out this year that are made entirely from recycled ketchup bottles?

Heinz-Sight 2020

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW A nurse is bathing a female patient who is in a coma..

A nurse is bathing a female patient who is in a coma when she notices that the patients heart rate and breathing increase whenever she cleans the genital area. She gets the idea that oral sex might actually revive her. She calls the patient's husband over and explains that oral sex might revive her,...

Every week, I'm happy to say that a recycling truck takes my garbage.

But I prefer /r/jokes where trash gets recycled almost every single day.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

church bulletin bloopers

*These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:*
--------------------------
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
--------------------------
The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for ...

Recycled joke material is more harmful than cigarettes

I've seen the laughter of an entire audience die out from second-hand joke.

What's the difference between my real dad and recycled saran wrap?

One's the transparent piece of garbage and the other's a garbage, trans-parent.

TIL there's a website that recycles 98% of its pages.

/r/Jokes

Why was the man who crushed recycled pop cans for a living sad with his life?

Because his job was soda pressing.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If all people were like Redditors, we would have a better planet

Because Recycling old shit is what Redditors do best .

P.S.A - Do recycle ♻

A music composer told me he cant listen to the radio anymore because popular music was much of the same recycled musical ideas. Said learning too much about a certain topic can ruin the fun of that topic.

And that's why I didn't become a gynecologist

What kind of dog recycles?

An EcoLab!

Why does Greta Thunberg like r/memes?

Everything there is recycled

What do you call an eco friendly place that recycles a lot?

r/Jokes.

Reddit's logo should be a bit more green.

To symbolize the amount of reused and recycled content.

Since I like helping the environment and recycling/reusing things I searched for a place with like-minded people.

After a few days I finally found where they reuse and recycle almost everything: r/Jokes

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