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Recycle Jokes

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NSFW A nurse is bathing a female patient who is in a coma..

A nurse is bathing a female patient who is in a coma when she notices that the patients heart rate and breathing increase whenever she cleans the genital area. She gets the idea that oral sex might actually revive her. She calls the patient's husband over and explains that oral sex might revive her,...

I saw a documentary about a submarine that recycles 87% of its garbage

But I think this sub's doing even better!

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If all people were like Redditors, we would have a better planet

Because Recycling old shit is what Redditors do best .

P.S.A - Do recycle ♻

"Do you want to borrow my book of recycled jokes?"

No thanks, I've already Reddit.

What do you call a tire made out of 365 recycled condoms?

A Goodyear

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My wife said this sub is nothing but the same recycled crap over and over.

She is so wrong so I told her to check my history. My last post here says otherwise.

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A Canadian was having a coffee and croissants with butter and jam in a cafe when an American tourist, chewing gum, sat down next to him.

The Canadian politely ignored the American, who, nevertheless started up a conversation.

The American snapped his gum and said, "You Canadian folk eat the whole bread?"

The Canadian frowned, annoyed with being bothered during his breakfast, and replied, "Of course".

The American...

I didn't know r/Jokes was so eco friendly

Everything here is recycled.

I found a place where the recycle rate is 98%

/r/jokes

Greta Thunberg must love reddit

Most of the content here is recycled

Globally over 99% of asphalt is recycled. It is the second most recycled material in the world, after jokes on reddit

Globally over 99% of asphalt is recycled. It is the second most recycled material in the world, after jokes on reddit

How do you recycle a condom?

Turn it inside out and shake the f**k out of it.

Apple should be commended for using recycled materials in their products. Recycled plastics, recycled aluminum...

...even their phone designs are recycled

Reuse, Reduce, Recycle!

The three ways to dispose of a body.

I’m pleased to announce reddit has achieved its goal in becoming one of the top 10 green companies in the world.

The front page is now made up of over 90% recycled content.

It was announced yesterday that the 2020 Summer Olympics in Tokyo will make all of its medals from recycled cellphones.

Well, they’re going to make the Olympic torch out of a Samsung Galaxy.

Two generations from now your grandkids might scrutinize this era and ask "really, grandpa? you really did that to the environment? Didn't you even recycle anything, come on???

Then with a grim expression on your face you scowl

"Fool, I was on reddit! I recycled everything at least 3000 times"

Hey Girl, do you recycle?

Because I'd love to crush that box and leave you by the curb tomorrow morning.

I don’t always recycle.

But when I do it hits the front page of reddit.

Reddit's logo should be a bit more green.

To symbolize the amount of reused and recycled content.

Sweden runs out of trash to recycle...

... Where's PewDiePie when you need him.

Greta thunberg began screaming,

“I will not fly private!” She said to her manager as they pulled into the parking lot.

“The conference is two days away and across the ocean, would you like to fly coach?” He replied.

“On a commercial airline produced by slave labor? I don’t think so!” She screamed.

Her manag...

What happened to the car that got recycled?

It was reincarnated.

What do you call recycled calculus jokes?

Derivative humor.

I'm a recycle bin...

I'm not garbage, but I might as well be.

My wife said we need to recycle more.

So I told her I'd go to the biggest recyclers I know for advice.



Hello r/Jokes

I couldn’t decide which joke to recycle for my Blue Cheese Day.

So instead, tell me your best and maybe even... *cheesiest*... joke that you’ve used for your own Blue Cheese Day!!

*Edit: Apparently that’s a* **Cake**. *Damn it. I probably could have found a* sweet *cake joke to use.*

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Why does Greta Thunberg like r/jokes so much?

We recycle our material every fucking day.

Why did Earth Day not affect /r/jokes?

Because everything is already 100% recycled.

What is the most recycled joke that keeps getting used?

Your mom.

I don't understand people who don't recycle...

Why would you buy a bike and only ride it once?

A man recycled 365 used Condoms.

Pirelli have turned into a Tyre and called it a "Goodyear"

New Years resolution to recycle water

I am putting a bucket in each shower and using the collected water in the clothes washer. I really don’t care what everyone else at the gym says.

[Possibly not Recycled] A man stands at the edge of a pier...

...working up the nerve to throw himself into the water and end it all. A beat cop walking by sees him and lets out a loud tweet on his whistle.

"Hey buddy, what'dya think you're doing?"

"I've had it! I'm done with this life! I'm going to drown myself, here and now!"

"Now hold o...

I'm thinking about starting a business that recycles discarded chewing gum...

I just need help getting it off the ground.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

South American recycling

A Guyanese man is having breakfast one morning: coffee, croissants, bread, butter & jam when a Trinidadian man, chewing gum, sits down next to him. The Guyanese ignores the Trinidadian who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.
Trini: "You Guyanese folk eat the whole bread?"
Guyanese ...

environmentalists discover a secluded community where everybody recycles

r/Jokes

Reddit is really a green community,

considering all the recycled content on here.

Recycled joke material is more harmful than cigarettes

I've seen the laughter of an entire audience die out from second-hand joke.

What kind of dog recycles?

An EcoLab!

You can recycle an old brassiere into a face mask. It is important to remember to only use the left cup...

otherwise you will end up looking like a right tit.

Does only being able to recycle number 1 and 2 plastics upset anyone else?

I just moved to a new city and they don’t recycle anything above a 2. Is it like this in a lot of places? I hope I can find somewhere to drop off my other plastics.

Reddit is possibly the most environmentally conscious site on the internet.

Nearly 100% of the content is recycled at some point, often several times.

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What did the recycled toilet paper say?

Not this shit again

TIL there's a website that recycles 98% of its pages.

/r/Jokes

Why was the man who crushed recycled pop cans for a living sad with his life?

Because his job was soda pressing.

My wife asked me if I like to recycle...

"Well yeah of course. It's the only way I can get Karma!"

Redditors are very environmentally aware

More than half the content on the front page is recycled

Using recycled material, I've made the kids a stuffed dog for Christmas.

It used to be their real dog.

Where do all the recycled websites go?

Dot Compost

Snickers bars are now being shipped in packaging made from recycled old newspaper comics.

They're packed with Peanuts.

Joke Archeology -- who's heard an older version of this often recycled joke?

I heard this one the first time back in the early 70's.

Richard Nixon and Henry Kissinger were giving a young hippie hitchhiker a ride home in Air Force One from the Camp David Area, they started having engine trouble, unfortunately there were only four parachutes and the drafted pilots ju...

What's the difference between my real dad and recycled saran wrap?

One's the transparent piece of garbage and the other's a garbage, trans-parent.

Every week, I'm happy to say that a recycling truck takes my garbage.

But I prefer /r/jokes where trash gets recycled almost every single day.

Why is Smurfette the only smurf who recycles?

She's the only one with a blue box.

If I had a nickel for every repost/recycled joke I saw on this sub...

Women would find me attractive.

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