I saw a documentary about a submarine that recycles 87% of its garbage

But I think this sub is doing even better!

My wife said we need to recycle more.

So I told her I'd go to the biggest recyclers I know for advice.



Hello r/Jokes

What happened to the car that got recycled?

It was reincarnated.

Reuse, Reduce, Recycle!

The three ways to dispose of a body.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you recycle a condom?

Turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it.

Globally over 99% of asphalt is recycled. It is the second most recycled material in the world, after jokes on reddit

Globally over 99% of asphalt is recycled. It is the second most recycled material in the world, after jokes on reddit

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Canadian was having a coffee and croissants with butter and jam in a cafe when an American tourist, chewing gum, sat down next to him.

The Canadian politely ignored the American, who, nevertheless started up a conversation.

The American snapped his gum and said, "You Canadian folk eat the whole bread?"

The Canadian frowned, annoyed with being bothered during his breakfast, and replied, "Of course".

The American...

Reddit is possibly the most environmentally conscious site on the internet.

Nearly 100% of the content is recycled at some point, often several times.

What do you do with 365 used condoms?

Recycle them to make a tire and call it a Goodyear.

Greta Thunberg must love reddit

Most of the content here is recycled

I couldn’t decide which joke to recycle for my Blue Cheese Day.

So instead, tell me your best and maybe even... *cheesiest*... joke that you’ve used for your own Blue Cheese Day!!

*Edit: Apparently that’s a* **Cake**. *Damn it. I probably could have found a* sweet *cake joke to use.*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife said this sub is nothing but the same recycled crap over and over.

She is so wrong so I told her to check my history. My last post here says otherwise.

Soviet financial inspector visits a synagogue

Soviet financial inspector visits synagogue with a mission to prove that local Jewish community hides some profits from tax authorities.

As he looks through the books and find nothing suspicious - an idea comes to his mind.

He asks rabbi:

\- Rabbi, soviet authorities sent you 10...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An ensign was spending his first few days aboard a submarine learning his duties and a litany of regulations.

His job was unusual, but simple; tend a pair of oxen in a miniature field on deck 7. The purpose of this agricultural endeavor was to see if crops might one day be grown inside a spaceship; a submarine was an adequate stand in.

He had never driven cattle before, but in short order, he got th...

Why does Earth Day not affect /r/jokes?

Because everything is already 100% recycled.

You can recycle an old brassiere into a face mask. It is important to remember to only use the left cup...

otherwise you will end up looking like a right tit.

Reddit has gone fully green to help the environment.

Their front page is made of 100% recycled material.

I'm thinking about starting a business that recycles discarded chewing gum...

I just need help getting it off the ground.

Does only being able to recycle number 1 and 2 plastics upset anyone else?

I just moved to a new city and they don’t recycle anything above a 2. Is it like this in a lot of places? I hope I can find somewhere to drop off my other plastics.

environmentalists discover a secluded community where everybody recycles

r/Jokes

Joke Archeology -- who's heard an older version of this often recycled joke?

I heard this one the first time back in the early 70's.

Richard Nixon and Henry Kissinger were giving a young hippie hitchhiker a ride home in Air Force One from the Camp David Area, they started having engine trouble, unfortunately there were only four parachutes and the drafted pilots ju...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW A nurse is bathing a female patient who is in a coma..

A nurse is bathing a female patient who is in a coma when she notices that the patients heart rate and breathing increase whenever she cleans the genital area. She gets the idea that oral sex might actually revive her. She calls the patient's husband over and explains that oral sex might revive her,...

Why does Greta Thunberg like r/memes?

Everything there is recycled

I'm pleased to announce Reddit has achieved its goal in becoming one of the top 10 green companies in the world!

The front page is now made up of over 90% recycled content

I don’t always recycle.

But when I do it hits the front page of reddit.

I found a place where the recycle rate is 98%

/r/jokes

Snickers bars are now being shipped in packaging made from recycled old newspaper comics.

They're packed with Peanuts.

Sweden runs out of trash to recycle...

... Where's PewDiePie when you need him.

Hey Girl, do you recycle?

Because I'd love to crush that box and leave you by the curb tomorrow morning.

My wife asked me if I like to recycle...

"Well yeah of course. It's the only way I can get Karma!"

If I had a nickel for every repost/recycled joke I saw on this sub...

Women would find me attractive.

What do you call recycled calculus jokes?

Derivative humor.

TIL there's a website that recycles 98% of its pages.

/r/Jokes

It was announced yesterday that the 2020 Summer Olympics in Tokyo will make all of its medals from recycled cellphones.

Well, they’re going to make the Olympic torch out of a Samsung Galaxy.

"Do you want to borrow my book of recycled jokes?"

No thanks, I've already Reddit.

A man recycled 365 used Condoms.

Pirelli have turned into a Tyre and called it a "Goodyear"

Reddit's logo should be a bit more green.

To symbolize the amount of reused and recycled content.

Why do environmentalists love this sub?

Because everything here is recycled.

What kind of dog recycles?

An EcoLab!

Who is Greta Thunbergs favorite comedian.

Amy schumer because she recycles all her jokes!

I don't understand people who don't recycle...

Why would you buy a bike and only ride it once?

What do you call an eco friendly place that recycles a lot?

r/Jokes.

When the Kardashians die, they won't be buried or cremated.

They'll be recycled.

Did you hear about the new brand of glasses coming out this year that are made entirely from recycled ketchup bottles?

Heinz-Sight 2020

Recycled joke material is more harmful than cigarettes

I've seen the laughter of an entire audience die out from second-hand joke.

r/jokes is the most environment-friendly sub on Reddit

It is made of 97% recycled material.

What's the difference between my real dad and recycled saran wrap?

One's the transparent piece of garbage and the other's a garbage, trans-parent.

TIL Reddit has one of the most effective carbon offset programs of any website

Which is unsurprising considering /r/jokes consistently achieves a 100% recycle rate.

A couple had been married for 50 years. The man had a large cardboard box under the bed.

His wife had noticed this box but never thought much of it. One day, however, curiosity got the better of her, and she opened it. She found 2 empty beer cans and a bag with some dollar bills and coins.

That night, she asked her husband what this was about.

"Well," he replied. "If y...

I love how eco conscious this sub is.

All the top content is recycled.

New Years resolution to recycle water

I am putting a bucket in each shower and using the collected water in the clothes washer. I really don’t care what everyone else at the gym says.

Why is Smurfette the only smurf who recycles?

She's the only one with a blue box.

A navy officer on a submarine was doing his rounds and noticed something odd...

There was what looked like a frying pan handle sticking out of the floor of the sub! The officer did some more looking around, and saw more strange things sticking out of the floor: golf clubs, clothes irons, car bumpers, and even half a bicycle!

Alarmed by this, he went up to the sub command...

I'm a recycle bin...

I'm not garbage, but I might as well be.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If all people were like Redditors, we would have a better planet

Because Recycling old shit is what Redditors do best .

P.S.A - Do recycle ♻

Why was the man who crushed recycled pop cans for a living sad with his life?

Because his job was soda pressing.

Every week, I'm happy to say that a recycling truck takes my garbage.

But I prefer /r/jokes where trash gets recycled almost every single day.

What is the most recycled joke that keeps getting used?

Your mom.

A music composer told me he cant listen to the radio anymore because popular music was much of the same recycled musical ideas. Said learning too much about a certain topic can ruin the fun of that topic.

And that's why I didn't become a gynecologist

A joke my dad told me. With my twist.

A Jewish circumcision doctor once had a jar full of the skin he had circumcised over the last few hours. He went to a new leatherworker he had heard about that could use the leftover skin. So the Jewish doctor thought he would try and reuse, reduce, and recycle.

The doctor met with the leathe...

Since I like helping the environment and recycling/reusing things I searched for a place with like-minded people.

After a few days I finally found where they reuse and recycle almost everything: r/Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why does Greta Thunberg like r/jokes so much?

We recycle our material every fucking day.

We are proud to announce that r/Jokes is now completely environmentally friendly sub

It's wholly made of recycled materials.

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