At a recent rally, somebody threw a beer at Trump's head...

He's fine. It was a draft, so he dodged it.

What's the worst thing to hear at an antivax rally?

"He's having a heart attack! Is anyone here a doctor?"

Trump is leaving a rally and heading to his limo

When suddenly a would be assassin jumps from the shadows and takes aim. A secret service agent, brand new on the job, shouts “Micky Mouse!” This startles the assassin and he is captured in the confusion. Later the agents supervisor takes him aside, congratulates him and says “but what in the hell ma...

What do you call a white supremacist at a BLM rally?

An ambulance.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Trump is blaming Sanders for the violence at his rally...

because you can't truly be Hitler until you blame a jew for all your problems.

What snack will you always find at a KKK rally?

Salty Crackers.

Americans leaving their homes to rally outside against having to stay in their homes

Thought the title was enough

Kanye West invited me to his presidential rally, I told him I'd only go if I could wear X-Ray goggles, he asked me why?

I said to him, "I already know you're crazy, but now I can see your nuts too!"

How do you instantly break up an anti-quarantine rally?

Cough.

There are two booths set up at a Trump rally.

Someone asks "why isn't anyone lined up at this booth?"

"It's a kissing booth."

"Why's everyone over at the other booth?"

"That's the punch line."

Black lives matter held a rally in Houston, but no one knew what they were trying to say.

The Astros stole all their signs.

One rally attendee to the other: "How long has the president been talking?"

The other answers: "Half an hour."

"What is he talking about?"

"I don't know, he won't say"

Massive trump rally scheduled for tomorrow

Miami Beach @ 10:00, come show your support!

Why aren't all the Trump supporters out having a rally against his impeachment?

Their white sheets aren't clean from the last rally yet

What was the rallying cry of the trio of rotting leaves?

d'three of us matter!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Donald Trump holds a fund raising campaign rally.

During the rally, he steps down from the stage and slaps one of his cheering supporters. Now the shit has really hit the fan.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Waving a Nazi flag at a Bernie rally

Is like waving a diploma at a Trump rally.

What do you call a zombie at a trump rally?

Starving

I'm organizing a rally against the right peaceably to assemble.

It will be the protest to end all protests.

(There, original joke. Looking forward to coming back in a few days and seeing a re-post of it make the front page.)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hillary Clinton was being driven in a private limo to a rally...

... when suddenly, the car hit a large and old-looking cow.

The driver got out and checked to see if it was dead. After confirming the death, he saw the tag on it that said it belonged to a nearby farm. He told Hillary Clinton that he would be going over to the farm to tell the farmers what ...

What is served at a Trump rally?

White whine and salty crackers!!

Did you hear about the mime that hung himself at the Trump Rally?

He's fine. It was just Fake Noose.

I went to a Trump rally the other day, and the only thing higher than the average IQ of the crowd...

Was the average BMI.

Trump rally...

Tomorrow at 8 am on the beach at Wilmington North Carolina. Spread the word!

What do you call a small protest against dumping trash in North Carolina’s capital?

A little Raleigh Litter Rally — literally!

A fathom is a unit of measure equal to 6 feet

Therefore, a cluster of rally attendees not practicing social distancing could be deemed "unfathomable"

What has 110 legs, 250 teeth, and an IQ of 500?

The front row of a Donald Trump rally.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So a Bartender, a Priest, and an Anti-Lockdown protester walk into a bar... [LONG]

Ok, not a bar, because the bars are all closed. But I digress. So they walk into... I dunno, Wal-Mart, Whatever. Turns out all three know each other and start talking about the lockdown and how it has been affecting them.

The Bartender started by lamenting the loss of their income and social ...

Yo Mamma so ugly...

Yo momma so ugly that we created a global conspiracy "plandemic" and ruined the world economy and expedited the new world order and ruined Trump's rally and banned the Confederate flag from nascar and cancelled major league baseball just so she'd wear a mask.

Try to post on Reddit is like being foreign at a Trump rally

No matter how well you follow the rules, you always end up getting removed.

Herman Cain is going to find out about the Coronavirus 5x5x5 plan.

Positive test within 5 days of TrumpRallyTulsa

He spread Coronavirus to least 5 of his friends

He only has 5 minutes left of his 15 minutes of fame

At a rally today Donald Trump ordered the secret service to remove a crying baby.

They had him halfway to the curb before realizing the error.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Donald Trump phones the Queen to ask for advice.

Donald Trump phones The Queen, and he says to her:

“Since we are living through such troubled times I thought it might be good to give the country a point to rally and unite behind. So, as I'm the President, I'm thinking of changing how the country is referred to, and I'm thinking that it sho...

Matthew McConaughey walks into a Trump rally

"Alt Right, Alt Right, Alt Right."

Why did the dyslexic man get thrown out of the Texas Republican rally?

TAXES!!!

What’s the difference between a monster truck rally and the rockettes?

A monster truck rally has a CUNNING array of STUNTS

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I went to a High School pep rally....

The principal had announced earlier that day that he would make an inspirational speech for us. At the rally, he walked up to the microphone for his speech. But, all he did was look at the crowd, smiled, and stepped down.

We were left speechless.

I didn't go to the Mayday rally today.

People said it would be perfectly safe, but I saw a lot of red flags.

George Bush swears he sees Moses in the crowd at a rally....

.....and he doesn't want to miss the opportunity to meet such a well-known biblical celebrity.

He yells at him, "Sir, you look a lot like a man from the old testament. Are you Moses?" Looking around, the man slowly shakes his head side to side denying the gesture. Bush is not convinced.. one...

Why did the biker decline an invitation to the rally?

He was just two tired.

Why do Trump supporters enjoy polish people at his rally...

so that they can say that their ahead in the Poles.

Polish gram-pa said it.

I got beat up at a black lives matter rally for complaining about my underwear

These knickers where just making me so uncomfortable

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "How you doing today?" the bartender asks

. "Actually, earlier today I was feeling really down. Depressed even," the guy says. "But then I parked in a handicapped stall at the grocery store and then I had a bunch of complete strangers rally around me and tell me there was nothing wrong with me."

The moon landings looked more realistic than Hillary's rally last week.

And those were faked with 1960s technology.

Was there a good turnout at the Bernie Sanders rally?

There were a lot of people, but I wouldn't say it was super pac'd.

Sarah Palin and Donald Trump served PB&J sandwiches at his last political rally

because if you go to one of those, you're not allergic to nuts

What's the difference between a Trump rally and a Klan rally?

Several thousand yards of white fabric.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Tourette's convention rally

What do we want?!

A CURE FOR TOURETTE!!

When do we want it?!

CUNT! SHIT! FUCK!

Donald Trump was at a campaign rally when a little girl told him she had a riddle for him...

Trump agreed to hear the riddle and the girl said,

"You are your mother's son who is not your brother, Who are you?"

Trump answered, "I'll figure that out and tell you the next time we see you"

Later, Trump still couldn't figure it out, so he called Bill O'Reilly and asked,...

What's the difference between a religious revival and a bikers rally?

At a religious revival, they say "STAND UP FOR JESUS"

At a bikers rally, they say "SIT DOWN FOR CHRIST'S SAKE"

If you want to defeat capitalism......

If you want to defeat capitalism
Then you need to rally the *lowercase*

A black guy dies & finds himself at the Pearly Gates with St. Peter....

SP: Before I allow you to enter Heaven, you must tell me something truly extraordinary about your life.

BG: Sheeet, no problem. I was a star NFL QB for 15 years!

SP: One of many. What else?

BG: I have 2 Super Bowl rings & 3 MVP trophys!

SP: These things do not impress...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man encounters a magic lamp and out pops a genie

The genie tells the man he will grant a wish of his choice, and the man proceeds to tell the genie his wish. The genie replies, “no problem, it should be done by tonight.”
Later that night, the man is waiting in his living room when he notices what appears to be a Ku Klux Klan rally forming in h...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the most dangerous race in the world?

The Dakar Rally, you racist motherfuckers.

In protest, my friends and I are gonna march down to the city square dressed in trash that we picked up around the city...

...like litter-rally.

A traffic cop pulled over a driver in who had been weaving erratically along the highway

Approaching the car, he said: ‘Sir, i need you to blow into a breathalyser.’
‘Sorry officer,’ he replied. ‘I can’t do that. I’m an asthmatic. If i do that, I’ll have a rally bad asthma attack.’
‘Well, then i need you to come to the station to give me a blood sample.’
‘I can’t do ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Contest! The Three Funniest Jew Jokes get a free Christmas hat [US & Canada Only]

We're jews over at Rally Flip Cap and we think Jewish jokes are hilarious. We also think ironic prizes are hilarious. So to celebrate Hanukkah we're going to giveaway 3 Merry Christmas hats!

The 3 most upvoted jokes get this hat for free, completely free, including the shipping, no hidden fe...

So there's this musician.....

So theres this musician who is incredibly gifted. Any instrument he touches he can instantly play at a masters level. Unfortunately for the musician he lived in a country ruled by a dictator. One day the dictator learns of the musician's talent and has the musician brought before him.

The dic...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Trump is really bringing the nation together...

Everyone I know seems to be rallying behind "Fuck Trump".

Lenin, Stalin, Khrushchev, Brezhnev and Gorbachev are sitting together on a train...

The train breaks down. Lenin tries to rally the workers to work together and get the train running again. When that fails, Stalin lines up all the workers and shoots them. When that doesn't help, Khrushchev tries to reform the workers back to life. When that also fails, Brezhnev pulls down all the c...

A joke told to me by an ex-NSA spook who worked in Western Germany during the Cold War. It describes the past leaders of the USSR perfectly.

Lenin, Stalin, Brezhnev, and Gorbachev are on a train to the Great Worker's Rally in Moscow. Suddenly, the train stops and the great men get out to discover that there are no tracks in front of the train. Worried about making it to the rally on time, the men start discussing a solution.

Lenin...

Hoist the colors high!

Something you'd rather hear a pirate say than yelled at a KKK rally.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A graduate has an interview at a fancy restaurant

A young achiever recently graduated from university and is in the process of interviewing for her first "real" job. She made it past the preliminaries with one of her preferred employers and was invited to have dinner at a fancy restaurant with her potential boss. Naturally, she arrives early to mak...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man dies and goes to hell...

and Satan is there to greet him and give him the tour.

The man notices a great big bubbling cauldron surrounded by demons fighting, kicking, punching, and stabbing frantically at the occupants. The man turns to Satan and asks, "who's in that cauldron?"

Satan replies, "oh, that one's f...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.