An amateur woodworker moves to a new neighborhood and makes some friends at a local bar he goes to every other week.
An amateur woodworker moves to a new neighborhood and makes some friends at a local bar he goes to every other week. As a way to say thanks to the community, he offers to take down and rebuild a brand new deck at the bar. The bar owner, who practically lives at the bar day-in day-out, doesn't want t...
U.S. Navy destroyer stops four Mexicans rowing towards Texas. The Captain gets on the loud-hailer and shouts:
“Ahoy, small craft. Where are you headed?"
One of the Mexicans puts down his oar, stands up, and shouts, "Gringo, we are invading the United States of America to reclaim the territory taken by the USA during the 1800's."
The entire crew on the destroyer doubles over in laughter....
A man walks into a bar... The bartender smiles and says, "What can I get you today, bud?"
The man drunkenly says, "Pint of beer please."
Bartender pours the beer, hands it over and watches as the man gulps it down in one.
"That'll be £4 please, sir."
The man looks at him wide eyed, "I'm not paying for that, you asked me what you could get me so I took up your generou...
Guy calls in on radio show
**Guy**: Hey! I found this wallet with $2k, an Amazon gift card, and it says it belongs to someone named 'Ryan'
**Host**: Oh how nice of you. Do you want me to ask Ryan to reclaim it?
**Guy**: No, I want to request a sad song for Ryan
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Jew, A Catholic, and an atheist are rowing in Lake Erie when their boat springs a huge leak.
The Jew looks skyward, and says “Oh, Adonai, if you save me, I promise I’ll sail to Israel and spend the rest of my days trying to reclaim the land you gave us.”
The Catholic looks skyward, and says, “Oh, Jesus, if you save me, I promise I’ll fly to the Vatican and spend the rest of my days ...
Lieutenant Dan has to deliver bad news.
One day, from the office of the General of the Army comes a letter for Lieutenant Dan bearing bad news. Private John's wife had passed away in a horrible car accident.
The General strongly suggested that breaking the news lightly to John would be course of action. Lieutenant Dan, with hi...
What do Nicki Minaj and the Philadelphia police department have in common?
Reclaiming black bodies.