UPJOKE
composernocturnevirtuosopolandbeethovenchild prodigyhaydnfolk musicwaltztuberculosispolonaisescherzopianistpreludewarsaw

I went Chopin, but I forgot my Liszt.

Don't worry, I will go Bach later.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a bar

He orders a drink and the bartender serves him. The man said "hey, if I show you something really cool, can I have free drinks for the night?" The bartender says, "if you can impress me, then we have a deal".

The man pulls out a box and opens it. Inside was a dwarf who was a foot tall and a m...

A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender gives the man his drink and the man asks "If I show you something crazy, would let me have free drinks for the rest of the night?"

The bartender thinks for a minute and then says "it would to be something spectacular to take that offer." The man leans down and picks up a box and sets it on the bar. He opens the box and inside is a small piano man, whom is only 1 foot tall, and beside him a little plano. The piano man starts pla...

As Governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger had to attend many high society functions. One such function was a fund raiser which featured a symphony orchestra playing a medley of pieces by famous composers.

Arnie, as is well known, has only one preference when it comes to classical composers, but sat patiently during the performance.

There were selections by Bach, Beethoven, Mozart, Tchaikovsky and more.

The Governor began to get quite perturbed when, after over an hour and half, his favo...

Stallone, Willis and Schwarzenegger are producing and starring in a period drama about the Great Composers.

Stallone, Willis and Schwarzenegger are producing and starring in a period drama about the Great Composers.
They all agree that Stallone should play the role of Beethoven, but Willis and Schwarzenegger get into an argument about who should play Chopin.
Stallone suggest they toss a coin to de...

Action Composers

All the action heroes are at Stalone's house when their phones all go off. Their agents give them news about a new action movie focused on the great composers. After the call they are all talking about who they would like to play.

Stalone: I'm not going to be in it if I can't be Mozart....

In a concert hall, the concertmaster walks onto the stage to announce the performance

"Piano Concerto no. 1, by Frederic Chopin", - he says, followed by the musician sitting down at the piano.

The pianist starts playing, and is close to a virtuoso. The performance is flawless, the audience applauds in awe, when a large figured man in a really expensive suit emerges from the f...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My go to joke- Guy sees “piano player wanted” sign window..

So he goes in, says he wants the job. Manager says, “alright, but 1st I gotta see if you’re qualified” So he plays a song and it drops the managers jaw “wow! That was amazing, was that Beethoven??” “No” the man replies “that’s an original. I call it ‘your tits are so big, my eyes are poppin outta my...

What’s a pianist’s favourite thing to do?

Go Chopin

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An octopus walks into a bar [NSFW]

An octopus walks into a bar and the bartender immediately turns to him and says “Hey buddy, we don’t serve your kind here! You have to leave!” The octopus, feeling disrespected, retorts. “Well why not? I can do anything any of you can do!”

The bartender looks at him, discontent. “Really? Well...

A sign in a music shop

A sign in a music shop:

Gone chopin. Bach in a minuet

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a bar with a box in hand.

He says to the bartender, "Pour me a drink and I'll show you something you've never seen before." The bartender pours a drink, and the man sets the box on the bar and opens it. Inside a miniature piano player is playing Chopin on a miniature piano.

"Where did you get that?" asks the bartender...

What does a classical composer use to carry his groceries?

A Chopin cart

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer...

After a few minutes, he says to the bartender, " Hey, if I show you the most amazing thing you've ever seen, will you give me another beer on the house?"

"We'll see," said the bartender. "I've had a lot of nuts come in here, and I've seen some pretty amazing things in my day."

So the ...

What does a pianist say when they're chopping food?

>!I be Chopin!<

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hamster act

A guy goes into a bar and says to the bartender, "If I show you the most amazing thing you've ever seen, will you let me drink for free tonight?"

The bartender says, "Let me see and I'll consider it."

So the guy reaches into his bag and pulls out a miniature piano and a hamster. The ha...

What does musicians take with them when doing groceries?

The Chopin list

A man walks into a pet store

He walks up to the shopkeeper and asks him for a suggestion for his daughters birthday.

"Sir come with me! I have some very friendly monkeys that your daughter would adore!"

The shopkeeper then takes him over to a cage full of monkeys. The father notices the price tag, $1000. He starts...

My wife and I do it doggy-style...

...she plays dead and I beg.

-Dan Chopin

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bum walks into a bar...

Trailing right behind him, the tiniest man the bartender's ever seen.
The bum says, "If you buy me a whiskey, my friend will play you a song."
The bartender pours the bum a shot. The little guy runs over to the piano, leaps up onto the stool, and plays a flawless rendition of Chopin's Polonais...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

careful what you wish for...

Guy runs a talent agency, sitting in his office, hears a knock on his door..."come in" he says...in walks a man with a perfectly formed little man about a foot tall..."yes, how may I help you??"...he says "I am looking for a job for my friend here"..."oh, and what does he do?"...he replies "he is a ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy walks into a bar carrying a briefcase.

He pulls up a stool at the bar and orders a drink. He opens his briefcase and a tiny little man about a foot tall climbs out, hauls out a tiny little piano behind him, sits down on a little stool and commences playing a flawless Chopin etude. All this time the guy down the bar is staring in amazem...

What's musical and useful at the grocery store?

A Chopin Liszt

Note: taken from one of those horrible "Joke of the Day" desk calendars. It took almost 12 months to get something clever.

I was in a highbrow bar at the Ritz Carlton, and their Pianist was asking folks for requests.

I said to him, "Can you play an Etude by Chopin?"

He replied, "Which one?"

I responded, "The composer."

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.