A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender gives the man his drink and the man asks "If I show you something crazy, would let me have free drinks for the rest of the night?"

The bartender thinks for a minute and then says "it would to be something spectacular to take that offer." The man leans down and picks up a box and sets it on the bar. He opens the box and inside is a small piano man, whom is only 1 foot tall, and beside him a little plano. The piano man starts pla...

Action Composers

All the action heroes are at Stalone's house when their phones all go off. Their agents give them news about a new action movie focused on the great composers. After the call they are all talking about who they would like to play.

Stalone: I'm not going to be in it if I can't be Mozart....

I went Chopin, but I forgot my Liszt.

Don't worry, I will go Bach later.

In a concert hall, the concertmaster walks onto the stage to announce the performance

"Piano Concerto no. 1, by Frederic Chopin", - he says, followed by the musician sitting down at the piano.

The pianist starts playing, and is close to a virtuoso. The performance is flawless, the audience applauds in awe, when a large figured man in a really expensive suit emerges from the f...

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My go to joke- Guy sees “piano player wanted” sign window..

So he goes in, says he wants the job. Manager says, “alright, but 1st I gotta see if you’re qualified” So he plays a song and it drops the managers jaw “wow! That was amazing, was that Beethoven??” “No” the man replies “that’s an original. I call it ‘your tits are so big, my eyes are poppin outta my...

I bought A LOT of classical music yesterday...

...I went on a Chopin spree!

What’s a pianist’s favourite thing to do?

Go Chopin

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A guy goes into a bar and says to the bartender, "If I show you the most amazing thing you've ever seen, will you let me drink for free tonight?"

The bartender says, "Let me see and I'll consider it."

So the guy reaches into his bag and pulls out a miniature piano and a hamster. The hamster sits in front of the piano and starts playing. And not just banging out "Chopsticks", the hamster is plays Chopin, some ragtime, and even some rock...

A sign in a music shop

A sign in a music shop:

Gone chopin. Bach in a minuet

What does a classical composer use to carry his groceries?

A Chopin cart

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A man walks into a bar with a box in hand.

He says to the bartender, "Pour me a drink and I'll show you something you've never seen before." The bartender pours a drink, and the man sets the box on the bar and opens it. Inside a miniature piano player is playing Chopin on a miniature piano.

"Where did you get that?" asks the bartender...

Where are composers taken to be executed?

To the Chopin block

What does a pianist say when they're chopping food?

>!I be Chopin!<

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An octopus walks into a bar [NSFW]

An octopus walks into a bar and the bartender immediately turns to him and says “Hey buddy, we don’t serve your kind here! You have to leave!” The octopus, feeling disrespected, retorts. “Well why not? I can do anything any of you can do!”

The bartender looks at him, discontent. “Really? Well...

What do Jared Fogel, Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey have in common?

Their favorite piece of classical music is Chopin’s Waltz in A minor.

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer...

After a few minutes, he says to the bartender, " Hey, if I show you the most amazing thing you've ever seen, will you give me another beer on the house?"

"We'll see," said the bartender. "I've had a lot of nuts come in here, and I've seen some pretty amazing things in my day."

So the ...

What does musicians take with them when doing groceries?

The Chopin list

Classical music joke

A man walks into a music store. The clerk asks the man if he needs help finding anything. The man says he needs his opinion classical music artists. So the man brings a few CDs to the clerk and has him look them over. The clerk says "oh I love Chopin and Mozart, and DeBussy, and Bach." The man says ...

A man walks into a pet store

He walks up to the shopkeeper and asks him for a suggestion for his daughters birthday.

"Sir come with me! I have some very friendly monkeys that your daughter would adore!"

The shopkeeper then takes him over to a cage full of monkeys. The father notices the price tag, $1000. He starts...

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Bum walks into a bar...

Trailing right behind him, the tiniest man the bartender's ever seen.
The bum says, "If you buy me a whiskey, my friend will play you a song."
The bartender pours the bum a shot. The little guy runs over to the piano, leaps up onto the stool, and plays a flawless rendition of Chopin's Polonais...

My wife and I do it doggy-style...

...she plays dead and I beg.

-Dan Chopin

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A guy walks into a bar carrying a briefcase.

He pulls up a stool at the bar and orders a drink. He opens his briefcase and a tiny little man about a foot tall climbs out, hauls out a tiny little piano behind him, sits down on a little stool and commences playing a flawless Chopin etude. All this time the guy down the bar is staring in amazem...

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careful what you wish for...

Guy runs a talent agency, sitting in his office, hears a knock on his door..."come in" he says...in walks a man with a perfectly formed little man about a foot tall..."yes, how may I help you??"...he says "I am looking for a job for my friend here"..."oh, and what does he do?"...he replies "he is a ...

I went to the supermarket dressed as a classical composer...

Somebody asked me what I was Chopin for.

What's musical and useful at the grocery store?

A Chopin Liszt

Note: taken from one of those horrible "Joke of the Day" desk calendars. It took almost 12 months to get something clever.

What's a musician's favourite kitchen utensil?

A Chopin' knife!

I was in a highbrow bar at the Ritz Carlton, and their Pianist was asking folks for requests.

I said to him, "Can you play an Etude by Chopin?"

He replied, "Which one?"

I responded, "The composer."

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