In a concert hall, the concertmaster walks onto the stage to announce the performance
"Piano Concerto no. 1, by Frederic Chopin", - he says, followed by the musician sitting down at the piano.
The pianist starts playing, and is close to a virtuoso. The performance is flawless, the audience applauds in awe, when a large figured man in a really expensive suit emerges from the f...
So, a guy walks into a bar. It's early in the afternoon, and he's the only customer, so he sits down at the bar and orders a beer. The bartender brings it, sets it down, and says, "That'll be 20 dollars." The man looks at him, wide-eyed, and says "Twenty dollars? For one freaking beer?" "Oh no", say...
An orchestra is tuning up for a challenging concerto; all but the first chair oboist.
She is not preparing for her performance. As the draw of the curtains approached, the conductor could no longer abide her inaction. He gritted, "why are you not preparing? Why haven't you habituated your instrument?" She retorted, "I don't believe in oboe warming."
Two great musicians hated each other
And after years of always being compared to one another, they finally decided to have a duet of guitars to see which was the better player. They carefully selected an audience of musical experts, and with that they played.
After a fifteen minutes duet, the vote was cast. Amazingly, the result...
A banjo asked a fiddle to marry him. "Don't frett," he said. "Just duet and we'll live in harmony until the end of time."
Ten months later, the fiddle started to tip the scales. Her belly was noticeably bowed and before you could say concerto, out popped a minor.
Daddy banjo went to the Hyundai dealer and traded in his old Accent for a brand new Sonata. After just a month, mama fiddle lost her key at the bar and...
Yo-Yo Ma's so fat...
he tried to write a new concerto, but couldn't get through the first movement.
A man walks into a bar
and orders a drink. While he’s waiting, he can’t help but notice the disgruntled looking fellow sitting next to him. In front of him on the bar, is a tiny man in a tuxedo playing a concerto on a tiny piano. Obviously curious, the man asks:
Hey buddy, what’s with the tiny musician?
Aliens and Western Classical Music
In 1977 Nasa launched the Voyager Spacecraft into space. The spacecraft contained multiple pieces of music, among other things, including J. S. Bach's Brandenburg Concerto No. 2. It's likely that extra-terrestrial life will have developed a fondness of German Classical music and will one day come to...
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Giuseppe lived in a small town in Italy and had done so for 80 years. He was increasingly growing concerned about the disdain he was experiencing from his neighbors and townspeople he'd known his whole life. One day a tourist visiting the town came up to Giuseppe and asked him what was the matter an...
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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus
The bartender says the the guy "we can't have that octopus in here".
The guys responds, saying "but this is a special octopus - he can play any musical instrument you tell him to"
So the bartender points to the piano and says "get him to play the piano then... and I'll give you a free ...
A man enters a variety show
With his miniature companion, a small foot tall man and a miniature piano, not more than 20 inches across.
The mini man sits at his mini stool and plays the piano perfectly-- a classic Motzart concerto.
He wins the $5,000 top prize and the emcee asks, "So how did you come across a min...
A man walks into a music store
A man walks into a music store and asks the assistant "I have really enjoyed Beethoven's Concerto. Have you got some of his earlier work, concertA to concertN?"
The Catholic Church has chosen its anthem
Concerto for organ in a minor.