What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine?

>!A Flat Miner!<

What's better than a rose on a piano?

Tulips on an organ.

What’s the difference between a piano, fish and a glue stick?

You can’t tune a glue stick.

What's the difference between a tuna and a piano?

You can't mistake a dolphin for a piano.

The Piano..

MY parents recently retired. Mum always wanted to learn to play the piano, so Dad bought her a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, I asked how she was doing with it. “Oh, we returned the piano,” said my dad. “I persuaded her to switch to a clarinet instead.” “How come?” I asked. “Because,” he...

I like Elton John. Brilliant on the piano

Sucks on the organ tho.

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What’s the difference between a piano and a fish?

Your mom’s pussy doesn’t smell like a piano.

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There once was a man who played the piano in a restaurant every weekend.

There once was a man who played the piano in a restaurant every weekend. All his songs had no words but they all had names that were extremely rude. The restaurant manager found out their names but told him not to tell them to anyone because he was a very good piano player.

One night he was p...

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A Piano Bar Needs a Piano Player NSFW

A man is walking down a busy street in St. Pete and see a chalk board sign out front of a pub that reads “Piano Player Wanted”.

The man walks into the bar and it’s empty other than the bar owner setting up chairs in front of the stage with a piano on it. The owner says “sorry sir we don’t o...

We were learning chords in our piano lesson today...

Our teacher said: “if you want to stretch yourself, use four fingers.”

What’s better than roses on your piano?

Tulips on your organ

(Not original but worth the share)

What did the short piano say to the keys

I'm low key-board

A man walked into a bar. He sat down and asked the bar tender "If I impress you, can I have a free drink?". The bar tender said sure, so the man reached in his pocket and pulled out a tiny piano. He then pulled out a small rat and set it by the piano. It crawled on to the bench and began playing

music. The bar tender was amazed, so he gave the man a beer. Next, the man said "If I impress you even more, can I have free drinks for life?". The bar tender didn't think it was possible, so he agreed. The man pulled a frog out of his pocket, and it began to sing by the piano. The bar tender smiled...

What does the priest that plays piano like?

Any piece in A Minor

My grandad commited suicide by eating the entire 88 keys on a piano.

He didn't leave a note.

Girls are like pianos.

When they’re not upright, they’re grand.

Why does Spongebob own such a huge piano?

Because he lives in a pineapple under the C.

The F# and C# on my piano don't play.

F#c#.

What scale does a piano play when thrown down a mineshaft?

A flat minor

TIL The higher you drop a piano, the higher the note that plays when the piano hits the ground

For example, drop it all the way down a mine shaft and it'll hit A minor

Do you remember the joke I told you about the piano movers spine?

It was about a week back

A man walks into a bar, and the first thing he notices is how ridiculously short the guy on the piano is.

He goes up to the bartender and says "Hey, uh, so what's the deal with the piano guy?"

"Well, you see this shiny rock right here? If you put your hand on it, it's supposed to grant you a wish."

"Holy hell, are you serious? Let me try!"

"Oh no I wouldn't. It can be finicky, it...

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The local bar in town was looking for a piano player to play on weekends

I obliged because I love to play, and I could really use the money at the time.

Anyway, I am at the interview/audition playing a couple songs for the owner. The owner walks over to me after the first song and says, "You're pretty good, man. What's that one called?"

Me: "Fuck You Dude"...

A joke I made on the spot to my piano teacher

Me: Hey, so by the way, I’m not going to be able to come to practice April 4th, I got a robotics meeting that day (I actually did have that, this wasn’t just added in for me to make the joke)

Piano teacher: Alright, no problem, let me just write that down.

Me, in a stroke of genius: I ...

An elephant walks into a piano bar just as the pianist is playing a particularly sad song.

He sits down by the pianist
and weeps.

The pianist says "I'm sorry, has
this song upset you?"

The elephants answers, "No, but I
recognise that ivory, you prick".

What kind of piano can you buy with $1000?

A Grand Piano.

A man walks into a bar

A man walks into a bar. He pulls out a little man, maybe a foot tall and a little piano. He puts them both on the bar, and the little guy starts playing Mozart as the man orders his drink.

The bartender says "I'm sure it's none of my business, but where did you find a little man who plays pia...

What's more beautiful than a delicate rose placed gracefully upon an elegant grand piano?

Somebody putting tulips on your organ.

I am extremely jealous of anyone who can play the piano very well.

I guess you could say I am suffering from a case of pianist envy.

A man is at a bar when he hears some piano music coming from behind the bar

The man asks the bartender: “where is that wonderful music coming from?”

The Barman replies by pulling out a tiny man and placing him in the table

“How did you get him? “

“Well I found a genie, here try it out.”

All right then! I wish for a million bucks!

Suddenly ...

What’s every gamers favorite note on a piano?

E3

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A man walks into a piano bar

Orders a beer, sits quietly, drinking his beer and minding his own business.

Out of nowhere a monkey comes running, jumps onto the bar and takes a piss in his beer, fucks off before he can react.

“Hey! Who’s Monkey was that” he screams angrily - but alas, no one seems to have seen it...

Ever hear the one about the guy who played a foot long piano?

Me neither, there's nothing funny about a twelve inch pianist.

A Piano Fell On A Man

When the man was interviewed about the incident he was asked “When did you realize that the piano had started to fall?”. To this he replied “I don’t know, it just kind of hit me.”

I wanted to make a pun about a piano,

but I didn’t know how to play on it.

A woman walks into a coffee shop and sees a person with a tiny man a tiny piano and a tiny stool

The woman asks the man where did you get that, and the man replys saying that there is a genie out back. The woman decides to check for the genie, while she's walking to the back she's thinking about what she will wish for and decides she will wish for 100 bucks. When she gets to the back she wishes...

Did you hear about the fat man who gave money to a piano player?

He really tipped the scales.

Making love to a beautiful woman is just like playing the piano

I don’t have a clue how to do either.

Do you know how many pianos Liberace had?

Nobody does, but what we all know is that he had organs up the ass

Best joke I have still ever overheard. Dad to his buddies while I’m 10 years old listening from the porch.

This guy walks into a bar with his briefcase in hand and he’s mad. He sits at the bar, puts his case down and orders a drink. The bartender serves him right up and asks the man what’s got him down.

The man gives a disappointed grin and tells the bartender that he can just show him. He opens ...

Liberace was a great piano player.

He sucked on the organ, though.

What did the pianist’s mother say after playing the piano too loud?

Hey that isn’t forte, that’s a piano.

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How are baby grand pianos made?

Sex organs

A guy was at a rich couple's party...

The guy said to the rich man, "I bet you a hundred dollars I could throw three eggs at your grand piano, and none of them would break."

The rich man accepted the bet, sure that he would win.

The guy threw three eggs at the grand piano, and all three of them broke.

The rich man l...

A guy walks into a bar and hears incredible piano music

He looks over and notices that the pianist is only 12-inches tall, so he walks over to the bartender and asks him,

“Where did the owner find a 12-inch pianist?”

“He said that that man over there,” he points to a man in the corner of the bar, “that man can grant you like, one wish or so...

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Aman walks into a bar...

...with a paper bag. He sits down and places the bag on the counter. The bartender walks up and asks what's in the bag.

The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, about 9 inches high and sets him on the counter.

He reaches back into the bag and pulls out a small piano, se...

I accidentally played the wrong note during a piano recital

It wasn't very sharp of me.

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A dude walks into a restaurant and says,

"Where's the fucking manager you cock-sucker?"

The host is surprised and replies, "Excuse me, but could you please refrain from using that sort of language in here, I will get the manager as soon as I can."

The manager comes over and the dude asks, "Are you the fucking manager of thi...

My girlfriend just told me that her ex had a grand piano which was so much nicer then my cheap little keyboard,

Now I'm feeling some pianist envy

i apologize if this has been posted here already

A man with a sack walks into a bar. He orders his first drink. The bartender asks, “What’s in that sack?” The man replies. It’s nothing, don’t worry about it. Later in the night, the man orders another drink. The bartender asks again, “What’s in the sack?” The man again replies, “It’s nothing worth ...

Communism is like a smart but unskilled piano player.

Good in theory but bad in practice.

A guy goes into a bar and says to the bartender, "If I show you the most amazing thing you've ever seen, will you let me drink for free tonight?"

The bartender says, "Let me see and I'll consider it."

So the guy reaches into his bag and pulls out a miniature piano and a hamster. The hamster sits in front of the piano and starts playing. And not just banging out "Chopsticks", the hamster is plays Chopin, some ragtime, and even some rock...

Whats worse than a sick muskrat on your piano?

A diseased beaver on your organ

Me: You know you can get arrested by playing the piano a certain way

Friend: Really, how?

Me: By playing in 'A minor'.

A man walks into a bar...

The bartender greets him and says, “For 5 bucks, I’ll show you something amazing.”

The man agrees and hands over his 5 bucks.

The bartender pulls out a small piano and a guy who is only about a foot tall. The guy sits down and plays an amazing tune on the piano.

“Wow he’s amazin...

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NSFW Fresh out of prison, this long time con tries out for a job playing at a piano bar...

So he plays a song for the bar owner who loves it. He gushes. “Incredible! You wrote that in prison?! What's the name of it?”


“I call that one “I smacked down the hooker who was sucking my cock!””


Taken back, the owner just gestures him on. “Play another!”


Again, a b...

What’s Darth Vader’s stage name when he plays his electric piano?

The synth lord

You know you spend too much time sitting, playing piano...

...when your Bach hurts

What's R. Kelly's favorite chord to play on the piano?

A Minor

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A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender he's short on cash. He proposes that he plays the piano in exchange for some drinks.

The bartender agrees and the guy walks over to the piano and starts playing. The bartender and patrons are amazed at the beautiful sounds that are produced from this old piano. He plays several songs in a row. After about 20 minutes he walks up to the bartender and asks if that was worthy of a drink...

What’s black and white that could fall out of a tree and kill you?

A piano

Seven piano keys walked into a bar.

The bartender said, "Sorry, we cannot serve alcohol to A Minor."

Life before the computer:



Memory was something that you lost with age. An application was for employment. A program was a TV show.

A cursor used profanity. A keyboard was a piano. A web was a spider's home. A virus was the flu.

A CD was a bank account. A hard drive was a long trip on the road. A mouse p...

NSFW maybe. A man walks into a bar...

When he enters he notices a dwarf playing the piano. He thinks it is a little strange but does think anything else of it. He goes to the bar and orders a drink. As he sips his drink he notices a lamp on a shelf above the bar

He asks the barman what it is. "It's a magic lamp" says the barman, ...

A guy pulls a tiny piano from his trench coat and places it on the bar...

A few people stop to watch what he's doing. He then reaches in and pulls out a tiny piano bench. By now a crowd of people has gathered to see what is going on. Finally the man pulls out a man that is about a foot tall. The little man sits down and plays the most amazing piano that anyone has ever he...

A guy walks into a bar and takes out a tiny piano

This guy walks into a bar and takes out a tiny piano and a 12 inch pianist.




He sets the tiny piano down at the bar, and the tiny pianist starts playing up a storm. The bartender looks at the man and says, "That's amazing, where did you get that?" The man replies, "There's a genie ...

A guy walks into a bar. As he is walking up to the bar he notices a twelve-inch man playing the piano,

So he asks the bartender “What’s that all about?” motioning to the dwarf,

The bartender told him he would tell him later. So the guy orders a drink. The bartender says,

“Before you get a drink, you get to rub the magic beer bottle and make one wish.”

“Okay,” said the guy. He wa...

So a 1024MB Memory Card walks into a bar...

The Memory Card spots a piano, sits down at it and starts playing some incredible music.

After a number of songs, mostly original, the Memory Card gets up and the bar goes wild with cheers and applause.

The bar owner was incredibly impressed and runs up to the Memory Card and says, "Bu...

All my friends say that I play the piano very loudly, and I agree with them.

Because after all, that is my forte.

Unhappy man with his little dude

A old man walks into a bar and sits down to have a drink. He quietly orders a beer when suddenly this tiny dude pops out of his shirt pocket. The bartender is amazed, “I’ve never such a tiny dude before.!” The old man quietly grumbles as he pulls out a tiny piano and places it on the bar. Immediatel...

How is a piano like a stick shift?

They both have three pedals, and most people only know what two of them do.

Five Redditors are walking in a forest...

Five redditors are walking in a forest...

...when they find a lamp on the ground. One of them rubs it, and (as expected), a genie appears. Because he's feeling particularly generous, the genie decides to grant all five of them one wish each.

The first one steps forward. "I would like ...

A group of people are in a bar, gathered around in a circle watching something peculiar

Normally I'm a pretty reserved and shy person, but I wanted to see what the fuss was all about. I go to the group of people and there's this man in the center of the circle, surrounded by his audience. He pulls out from his shirt pocket this 11 inch pianist and the little guy starts going to town. H...

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A bar owner decides to make his place a piano bar.

He hires a pianist, buys a baby grand, shuts down the bar and has it redecorated. He talks to one of his friends and says,”Man, I hope this place goes over, I’m kind of worried no one will come.” The friend says, “Well, have a grand opening. Advertise and get the word out.” The bar owner takes his a...

A man walks into a bar

and orders a drink. While he’s waiting, he can’t help but notice the disgruntled looking fellow sitting next to him. In front of him on the bar, is a tiny man in a tuxedo playing a concerto on a tiny piano. Obviously curious, the man asks:

Hey buddy, what’s with the tiny musician?

“H...

When I compose songs on my piano, I play multiple notes at once to make my songs longer.

They're extension chords.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano?

No? Well, Stevie hasn't either.

If a person that plays a piano is called a pianist...

Then why isn’t a person who races, called a racist?

A melancholy-looking man walked into a bar wearing a backpack...

He sat down at the bar and asked the bartender for a drink. Meanwhile, he took a tiny man and a tiny grand piano out of his backpack. He set the man and the piano on the bar top, and the tiny man began to play.

“That’s incredible!” The bartender said, holding the man’s drink. “Where did you g...

when i die I want it to be from being hit by a falling piano

That way my life ends on a dramatic note.

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A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by.

He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."

Passenger: "Who?"

Cabbie: "Frank Feldman... he's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."...

A man walks into a bar and sits down He asks the barkeep "If I can show you something you have never seen before, can I drink here for free tonight?"

The barkeep thinks about it and says "well I have seen a lot of stuff, if you can genuinely show me something I have not seen before, I will pick up your tab tonight".

So the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a minature piano and sets it on the bar, then he reaches into his other pock...

Why couldn't the broken piano get in it's house?

It didn't have any keys.

A man walks into a bar and sees a ridiculously short man playing the piano

He goes up to the bartender and asks "What's that all about?", motioning towards the tiny man.

The bartender says, "Well you see this rock here? If you put your hand on it and make a wish it'll come true."

"What? No way, let me try!" the man says. "Nah man, it's really finicky, usual...

What did the millennial say when his friend played jaws on the piano?

That low key gave me chills

Why was the piano teacher arrested?

He kept fingering A minor.

Why can't Bach buy a piano

Because he is Baroque

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