A guy goes into a bar and says to the bartender, "If I show you the most amazing thing you've ever seen, will you let me drink for free tonight?"

The bartender says, "Let me see and I'll consider it."

So the guy reaches into his bag and pulls out a miniature piano and a hamster. The hamster sits in front of the piano and starts playing. And not just banging out "Chopsticks", the hamster is plays Chopin, some ragtime, and even some rock...

What’s the difference between a piano, a can of tuna, and glue?

You can tune a piano, but you can’t piano a tuna

I like Elton John. Brilliant on the piano

Sucks on the organ tho.

Dad: What's the difference between a piano, tuna and some glue?

Me: Don't know?

Dad: You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish

Me: What about the glue?

Dad: I knew you'd get stuck on that!

A man walked into a bar. He sat down and asked the bar tender "If I impress you, can I have a free drink?". The bar tender said sure, so the man reached in his pocket and pulled out a tiny piano. He then pulled out a small rat and set it by the piano. It crawled on to the bench and began playing

music. The bar tender was amazed, so he gave the man a beer. Next, the man said "If I impress you even more, can I have free drinks for life?". The bar tender didn't think it was possible, so he agreed. The man pulled a frog out of his pocket, and it began to sing by the piano. The bar tender smiled...

A woman is like a piano

When she's not upright, she's grand.

TIL The higher you drop a piano, the higher the note that plays when the piano hits the ground

For example, drop it all the way down a mine shaft and it'll hit A minor

What do you get when you drop a piano into an coal mine?

A Flat Minor

A man walks into a bar, and the first thing he notices is how ridiculously short the guy on the piano is.

He goes up to the bartender and says "Hey, uh, so what's the deal with the piano guy?"

"Well, you see this shiny rock right here? If you put your hand on it, it's supposed to grant you a wish."

"Holy hell, are you serious? Let me try!"

"Oh no I wouldn't. It can be finicky, it...

I am extremely jealous of anyone who can play the piano very well.

I guess you could say I am suffering from a case of pianist envy.

What's better than roses on your piano?

Tulips on your organ.

I wanted to make a pun about a piano,

but I didn’t know how to play on it.

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A man walks into a piano bar

Orders a beer, sits quietly, drinking his beer and minding his own business.

Out of nowhere a monkey comes running, jumps onto the bar and takes a piss in his beer, fucks off before he can react.

“Hey! Who’s Monkey was that” he screams angrily - but alas, no one seems to have seen it...

What’s every gamers favorite note on a piano?

E3

A Piano Fell On A Man

When the man was interviewed about the incident he was asked “When did you realize that the piano had started to fall?”. To this he replied “I don’t know, it just kind of hit me.”

A man is at a bar when he hears some piano music coming from behind the bar

The man asks the bartender: “where is that wonderful music coming from?”

The Barman replies by pulling out a tiny man and placing him in the table

“How did you get him? “

“Well I found a genie, here try it out.”

All right then! I wish for a million bucks!

Suddenly ...

Ever hear the one about the guy who played a foot long piano?

Me neither, there's nothing funny about a twelve inch pianist.

Liberace was a great piano player.

He sucked on the organ, though.

A woman walks into a coffee shop and sees a person with a tiny man a tiny piano and a tiny stool

The woman asks the man where did you get that, and the man replys saying that there is a genie out back. The woman decides to check for the genie, while she's walking to the back she's thinking about what she will wish for and decides she will wish for 100 bucks. When she gets to the back she wishes...

What do you call a snowman playing piano next to the fire

Melting John

What would happen when a piano fell on you?

You would B-flat

Did you hear about the fat man who gave money to a piano player?

He really tipped the scales.

Making love to a beautiful woman is just like playing the piano

I don’t have a clue how to do either.

Do you know how many pianos Liberace had?

Nobody does, but what we all know is that he had organs up the ass

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How are baby grand pianos made?

Sex organs

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a bar and orders a Whiskey...

The bartender serves the whiskey and all of a sudden a monkey appears running all across the bar jumps and lands with his testicles in the whiskey and smiles to the man.

The man, confused, asks to the bartender...

-What the hell is this?

-Oh, ask the piano player, it is his monk...

My girlfriend just told me that her ex had a grand piano which was so much nicer then my cheap little keyboard,

Now I'm feeling some pianist envy

A guy walks into a bar and hears incredible piano music

He looks over and notices that the pianist is only 12-inches tall, so he walks over to the bartender and asks him,

“Where did the owner find a 12-inch pianist?”

“He said that that man over there,” he points to a man in the corner of the bar, “that man can grant you like, one wish or so...

Communism is like a smart but unskilled piano player.

Good in theory but bad in practice.

I accidentally played the wrong note during a piano recital

It wasn't very sharp of me.

What did the piano say to the guitar?

You're out of key.

Me: You know you can get arrested by playing the piano a certain way

Friend: Really, how?

Me: By playing in 'A minor'.

Whats worse than a sick muskrat on your piano?

A diseased beaver on your organ

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Is it the first line or the punchline that goes here?

In the days of the wild west, there was a young cowboy who wanted more than anything to be the fastest gunfighter in the world.

He practiced every minute of his spare time, but he knew that he wasn't yet first-rate and that there must be something he was doing wrong.

Sitting in a saloo...

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A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender he's short on cash. He proposes that he plays the piano in exchange for some drinks.

The bartender agrees and the guy walks over to the piano and starts playing. The bartender and patrons are amazed at the beautiful sounds that are produced from this old piano. He plays several songs in a row. After about 20 minutes he walks up to the bartender and asks if that was worthy of a drink...

What do you yell before dropping a piano in a mineshaft?

See sharp or be flat miner

What’s Darth Vader’s stage name when he plays his electric piano?

The synth lord

A guy walks into a bar and takes out a tiny piano

This guy walks into a bar and takes out a tiny piano and a 12 inch pianist.




He sets the tiny piano down at the bar, and the tiny pianist starts playing up a storm. The bartender looks at the man and says, "That's amazing, where did you get that?" The man replies, "There's a genie ...

All my friends say that I play the piano very loudly, and I agree with them.

Because after all, that is my forte.

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