What’s the difference between a piano, a can of tuna, and glue?

You can tune a piano, but you can’t piano a tuna

I like Elton John. Brilliant on the piano

Sucks on the organ tho.

A man walked into a bar. He sat down and asked the bar tender "If I impress you, can I have a free drink?". The bar tender said sure, so the man reached in his pocket and pulled out a tiny piano. He then pulled out a small rat and set it by the piano. It crawled on to the bench and began playing

music. The bar tender was amazed, so he gave the man a beer. Next, the man said "If I impress you even more, can I have free drinks for life?". The bar tender didn't think it was possible, so he agreed. The man pulled a frog out of his pocket, and it began to sing by the piano. The bar tender smiled...

My grandad commited suicide by eating the entire 88 keys on a piano.

He didn't leave a note.

What scale does a piano play when thrown down a mineshaft?

A flat minor

Do you remember the joke I told you about the piano movers spine?

It was about a week back

An elephant walks into a piano bar just as the pianist is playing a particularly sad song.

He sits down by the pianist
and weeps.

The pianist says "I'm sorry, has
this song upset you?"

The elephants answers, "No, but I
recognise that ivory, you prick".

A joke I made on the spot to my piano teacher

Me: Hey, so by the way, I’m not going to be able to come to practice April 4th, I got a robotics meeting that day (I actually did have that, this wasn’t just added in for me to make the joke)

Piano teacher: Alright, no problem, let me just write that down.

Me, in a stroke of genius: I ...

What kind of piano can you buy with $1000?

A Grand Piano.

What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat minor.

TIL The higher you drop a piano, the higher the note that plays when the piano hits the ground

For example, drop it all the way down a mine shaft and it'll hit A minor

A man walks into a bar, and the first thing he notices is how ridiculously short the guy on the piano is.

He goes up to the bartender and says "Hey, uh, so what's the deal with the piano guy?"

"Well, you see this shiny rock right here? If you put your hand on it, it's supposed to grant you a wish."

"Holy hell, are you serious? Let me try!"

"Oh no I wouldn't. It can be finicky, it...

A woman is like a piano

When she's not upright, she's grand.

Best joke I have still ever overheard. Dad to his buddies while I’m 10 years old listening from the porch.

This guy walks into a bar with his briefcase in hand and he’s mad. He sits at the bar, puts his case down and orders a drink. The bartender serves him right up and asks the man what’s got him down.

The man gives a disappointed grin and tells the bartender that he can just show him. He opens ...

The F# and C# on my piano don't play.

F#c#.

What's better than roses on your piano?

Tulips on your organ.

What’s every gamers favorite note on a piano?

E3

I am extremely jealous of anyone who can play the piano very well.

I guess you could say I am suffering from a case of pianist envy.

What worse than a lobster on your piano?

Crabs on your organ..

What's more beautiful than a delicate rose placed gracefully upon an elegant grand piano?

Somebody putting tulips on your organ.

Ever hear the one about the guy who played a foot long piano?

Me neither, there's nothing funny about a twelve inch pianist.

A Piano Fell On A Man

When the man was interviewed about the incident he was asked “When did you realize that the piano had started to fall?”. To this he replied “I don’t know, it just kind of hit me.”

Liberace was a great piano player.

He sucked on the organ, though.

I wanted to make a pun about a piano,

but I didn’t know how to play on it.

Did you hear about the fat man who gave money to a piano player?

He really tipped the scales.

What do you call a snowman playing piano next to the fire

Melting John

A woman walks into a coffee shop and sees a person with a tiny man a tiny piano and a tiny stool

The woman asks the man where did you get that, and the man replys saying that there is a genie out back. The woman decides to check for the genie, while she's walking to the back she's thinking about what she will wish for and decides she will wish for 100 bucks. When she gets to the back she wishes...

What would happen when a piano fell on you?

You would B-flat

Do you know how many pianos Liberace had?

Nobody does, but what we all know is that he had organs up the ass

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How are baby grand pianos made?

Sex organs

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a piano bar

Orders a beer, sits quietly, drinking his beer and minding his own business.

Out of nowhere a monkey comes running, jumps onto the bar and takes a piss in his beer, fucks off before he can react.

“Hey! Who’s Monkey was that” he screams angrily - but alas, no one seems to have seen it...

Making love to a beautiful woman is just like playing the piano

I don’t have a clue how to do either.

A guy walks into a bar and hears incredible piano music

He looks over and notices that the pianist is only 12-inches tall, so he walks over to the bartender and asks him,

“Where did the owner find a 12-inch pianist?”

“He said that that man over there,” he points to a man in the corner of the bar, “that man can grant you like, one wish or so...

My girlfriend just told me that her ex had a grand piano which was so much nicer then my cheap little keyboard,

Now I'm feeling some pianist envy

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A dude walks into a restaurant and says,

"Where's the fucking manager you cock-sucker?"

The host is surprised and replies, "Excuse me, but could you please refrain from using that sort of language in here, I will get the manager as soon as I can."

The manager comes over and the dude asks, "Are you the fucking manager of thi...

Five Redditors are walking in a forest...

Five redditors are walking in a forest...

...when they find a lamp on the ground. One of them rubs it, and (as expected), a genie appears. Because he's feeling particularly generous, the genie decides to grant all five of them one wish each.

The first one steps forward. "I would like ...

I accidentally played the wrong note during a piano recital

It wasn't very sharp of me.

Communism is like a smart but unskilled piano player.

Good in theory but bad in practice.

What did the piano say to the guitar?

You're out of key.

A guy goes into a bar and says to the bartender, "If I show you the most amazing thing you've ever seen, will you let me drink for free tonight?"

The bartender says, "Let me see and I'll consider it."

So the guy reaches into his bag and pulls out a miniature piano and a hamster. The hamster sits in front of the piano and starts playing. And not just banging out "Chopsticks", the hamster is plays Chopin, some ragtime, and even some rock...

Whats worse than a sick muskrat on your piano?

A diseased beaver on your organ

Me: You know you can get arrested by playing the piano a certain way

Friend: Really, how?

Me: By playing in 'A minor'.

So a 1024MB Memory Card walks into a bar...

The Memory Card spots a piano, sits down at it and starts playing some incredible music.

After a number of songs, mostly original, the Memory Card gets up and the bar goes wild with cheers and applause.

The bar owner was incredibly impressed and runs up to the Memory Card and says, "Bu...

A man walks into a bar

and he walks up to the bartender. While he’s ordering his drink, he notices on the counter a tiny man playing a tiny piano right next to a genie lamp.

The bartender says “Ah. I see you’ve noticed I have a genie... but the genie has a hearing problem.”

The man asks the bartender “Would ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender he's short on cash. He proposes that he plays the piano in exchange for some drinks.

The bartender agrees and the guy walks over to the piano and starts playing. The bartender and patrons are amazed at the beautiful sounds that are produced from this old piano. He plays several songs in a row. After about 20 minutes he walks up to the bartender and asks if that was worthy of a drink...

Doctor, Doctor, I was playing a kazoo and I swallowed it.

Lucky you weren't playing the piano.

A guy walks into a bar

And walks over to the bartender. He notices some beautiful piano music coming from one side of the bar, but he can’t see the stereo or the piano anywhere. So he asks the bartender “hey where is that music coming from?”

The bartender says “check the end of the bar.”

So the guy walks ove...

A guy walks in a bar...

(Sorry in advance for my English, it's not my first language)


He sees on the counter of the bar a small pianist, about 10 inches tall, playing on a small piano.




- Man: What's up with the pianist?




- Barman: Oh, my genie got me that.



...

All my friends say that I play the piano very loudly, and I agree with them.

Because after all, that is my forte.

Young cowboy

This young Cowboy in the Old West wanted to be the best gunfighter alive. One night as he was sitting in a saloon, he spotted an old man who had the reputation of being the greatest gunfighter in his day. The young Cowboy walked up to the old man and told him his dream. The old man looked him up and...

A man walks into a bar.....

he goes to the barman and asks "if I show you something amazing would you give me a free drink"?
The barman obliges. The man pulls out of his pocket a little piano along with a little woman. Then all of a sudden the little womman plays Beethoven 3rd symphony perfectly.

The barman astonishe...

What do you yell before dropping a piano in a mineshaft?

See sharp or be flat miner

A man walks into a bar...

A man walks into a bar and sees a very small man playing the piano. The guy couldn’t be more than a foot tall he was that short. The man walks up to the bartender and says “woah, does this place have any other cool tricks?”

The bartender replies “sure, there’s a magic mirror in the bathroom.”...

A guy walks into a bar and takes out a tiny piano

This guy walks into a bar and takes out a tiny piano and a 12 inch pianist.




He sets the tiny piano down at the bar, and the tiny pianist starts playing up a storm. The bartender looks at the man and says, "That's amazing, where did you get that?" The man replies, "There's a genie ...

The bar with the great 12-inch pianist



A man walks in to a bar to see a 12-inch pianist playing piano and he is amazing. He asked the bar tender where did you get this guy from? The bar tender tells him don’t even bring him up. The man kept ordering drinks and tipping so that the bar tender can finally answer his question.
...

When I compose songs on my piano, I play multiple notes at once to make my songs longer.

They're extension chords.

A man walks into a bar

with a paper bag. He sits down and places the bag on the counter. The bartender walks up and asks what’s in the bag.

The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, of about 12 inches height, and sets him on the counter. He reaches back into the bag and pulls out a small piano, setti...

A man walks into a bar...

And there’s another bloke sitting at the bar with a Tiny man playing the piano next to him.

The guy that just walked in said, mate, how’d you get that?

Guy at the bar sais, well, there’s a gong over there. You just go over and bang the gong once and a genie comes out. But, catch is, th...

Why couldn't the broken piano get in it's house?

It didn't have any keys.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A bar owner decides to make his place a piano bar.

He hires a pianist, buys a baby grand, shuts down the bar and has it redecorated. He talks to one of his friends and says,”Man, I hope this place goes over, I’m kind of worried no one will come.” The friend says, “Well, have a grand opening. Advertise and get the word out.” The bar owner takes his a...

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender,

"If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues. ...

A homeless man walks into a cafe and asks for a cup of coffee.

The barista, taken aback by his appearance, tells him that he needs to pay for that coffee.

“How about this.”
and then he pulled a frog out of his pocket that started to beautifully play the piano.

The barista is amazed and offers him a cup of coffee on the house.
After a while, ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks in to a bar with a box under his arm and says to the barman, “If I can show something you have never seen before will you give me a free drink?”

Now the barman has seen mostly everything in his time and says, “Sure, impress me and hell, I’ll give you a free tab for the eve!” So the man puts down the box and opens it and then he pulls a small piano out of it and places it on the bar and then a little man as well. The little man walks up to ...

What did the millennial say when his friend played jaws on the piano?

That low key gave me chills

Life before the computer:

Memory was something that you lost with age. An application was for employment. A program was a TV show.

A cursor used profanity. A keyboard was a piano. A web was a spider's home. A virus was the flu.

A CD was a bank account. A hard drive was a long trip on the road. A mouse pad wa...

funny joke I heard from a retired dad at a birthday party

A man walks into a pub with a tiny box in one hand, and a weird looking lamp in the other. He takes a seat right at the bar, orders a rum and coke, and opens the little box. He takes out a tiny little man and a very tiny piano. The tiny little man starts playing the piano like no tomorrow. The barte...

What’s Darth Vader’s stage name when he plays his electric piano?

The synth lord

What's R. Kelly's favorite chord to play on the piano?

A Minor

You know you spend too much time sitting, playing piano...

...when your Bach hurts

A man walks into a bar

A man walks into a bar and gets talking to the bartender. The bar tender tells him that a genie had stopped in town and was in the other room granting wishes to those who asked him, but to be careful what he wished for.
The man rushed into the other room where there was a man playing the piano w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A homeless man walks up to a swanky restaurant (long)

He says to the maitre d' 'I'm sorry to bother you but I'm homeless and haven't eaten all day. The smell of food from your kitchen is amazing, would I be able to have dinner here tonight for free?'

Moved though he is, the maitre d' replies that he is sorry and he can't give out free food. 'But...

A man sits at a bar and produces a small piano along with a 12 inch pianist.

Barman asks how did he come to have such a small pianist in his care?

With an annoyed look the man says "I met a Genie who had a hearing problem".

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."

Passenger: "Who?"

Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."

Cabbie: "Not Frank Fe...

What's brown and sits on a piano stool?

Beethoven's last movement.

A guy walked into a bar one day and he couldn’t believe his eyes.

There, in the corner, sat a one-foot-tall man, in a little tuxedo, playing a tiny grand piano.

So the guy asked the bartender, “Where’d he come from?”

The bartender replied, “There’s a genie in the men’s room that grants wishes.”

The guy then ran into the men’s room, and sure en...

Guy walks into a bar with a brown paper bag and orders a beer. The barman delivers but notices something moving in the bag and asks what's in it.

Guy puts his hand in the bag and pulls out a small piano, then a tiny chair and finally a miniature guy in a tuxedo that proceeds to sit down and play.

"That's amazing," says the barman. "Where did you get him?"

Guy pulls a genie's lamp out of his jacket.

"Wow, do you mind if I ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a bar and orders a Whiskey...

The bartender serves the whiskey and all of a sudden a monkey appears running all across the bar jumps and lands with his testicles in the whiskey and smiles to the man.

The man, confused, asks to the bartender...

-What the hell is this?

-Oh, ask the piano player, it is his monk...

What’s the most commonly stolen musical instrument?

A piano. People are always leaving the keys in them.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It was entertainment night at the senior citizens' center.

After the community sing along led by Frank at the piano, it was time for the star of the show- "Larry the Hypnotist". Larry explained that he was going to put the whole audience into a trance. "Each and every one of you, and all at the same time!" he said.
The excited chatter dropped to sile...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Shooting tips

A young cowboy, sitting in a saloon one Saturday night, recognized an elderly man standing at the bar who, in his day, had been the fastest gun in the West.
The cowboy walked over to the old-timer, bought him a drink and told him of his great ambition to be a great gunfighter.

"Could you ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This guy walks into a bar, takes a seat and puts a bag onto the bar

He reaches into the bag and pulls out a little piano and then a little seat. Then this little guy comes out of the bag takes a bow, has a sits down and start playing the piano. A man with a hat sitting next to the man with the bag exclaims, "That's amazing! How did you get this little guy?"

...

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano?

No? Well, Stevie hasn't either.

A man walks into a bar...

A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. While sipping his whiskey he notices a small, gilded box at the end of the bar and inquires about it to the bartender. "You're not quite drunk enough, my friend."

The man thinks it odd but continues to drink. Two more whiskeys later he asks again. "...

If a person that plays a piano is called a pianist...

Then why isn’t a person who races, called a racist?

A man rings at the door of a flat. A lady opens the door.

He: "Hello, I'm a piano tuner."

She: "But I didn't ask for a tuner."

He: "I know, but your neigbours did."

A guy walks into a bar...

As he's walking up to the bartender, he notices a little man, just sitting on the bar, at a little piano playing music. He looks at the bartender with amazement, "Wow, that is incredible!"

The bartender shrugs his shoulders, "If you think that's neat, I have a genie bottle here with a real ge...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Guy walks into a bar with an old doctors bag

A Guy walks into a bar with an old doctors bag

Guy walks up to the bar and the bartender says, "Hey guy whats with the old doctors bag you got there"

Guy says, "Its a magic bag, it grants wishes"

Bartender, "No shit?"

Guy opens the bag and a 1 foot tall guy hops out with ...

Can someone explain this joke to me?



Shutterstock

A Man Walks Into a Bar...

he leans over and says to the bartender, "Hey, will you give me a free beer if I show you something so amazing that I can guarantee you've never seen it before?"
The bartender says, "Okay, but it had better be good."
The man reaches...

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