one time in Vietnam my drill sergeant angrily asked who the hell kept quoting Credence Clearwater Revival

I said "It ain't me"

Larry Goes To Get Prayer For His Hearing

Larry goes to the revival and listens to the preacher.
After awhile the preacher asks anyone with needs to be prayed over to come forward to the front at the altar.

Larry gets in line, and when it's his turn, the preacher asks:
"Larry, what do you want me to pray about for you?"

...

Jesus must have had really bad internet

his revival lagged for 3 days

What's the difference between a religious revival and a bikers rally?

At a religious revival, they say "STAND UP FOR JESUS"

At a bikers rally, they say "SIT DOWN FOR CHRIST'S SAKE"

Praying for Leroy

In a revival tent service, the preacher said, "Anyone with 'special needs’ who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front by the altar."

With that, Leroy got in line, and when it was his turn, the preacher asked, "Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you?" 

Leroy...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It was the mailman's lat day...

... and while going through his route, caring residents would see him and give him a gift for all of his hard work over the years.

He received nothing extraordinary until he reached a house where there happen to live a very attractive trophy wife. She swung the door open upon his revival, ha...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An elderly couple was listening ...

...to a religious revival on the radio. The preacher ended his stirring speech by saying "God wants to heal you all. Just stand up, put your hand on the radio, then place the other hand on the part of your body that is sick."

The old woman tottered to her feet, put one hand on the radio and ...

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