UPJOKE

Really Dark Jokes

A man walks a boy into the woods. The boy say he mister it’s getting really dark and im scared

The man replied how do you think I feel I need to walk back alone

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A couple are having sex in a really dark forest...

After 10 minutes of him eating her out, he goes "Damn, it's really dark down here! I wish I had a flashlight."

Her response? "So do I because you've been eating grass for the last 10 minutes."

My girlfriend and I were going through a really dark time.

We finally decided we couldn’t see each other anymore.

My room is really dark, I think my window shades work too well...

I think they deserve a raise.

Pigs

(Kinda sad, really dark.)

Grandma pig is growing old. She doesn’t want to worry her grandchildren, so she makes something up for the parents.

The kids watch as Grandma is taken away.

“Where is grandma going?” asks a pig.

“Grandma is sick. They’re gonna help her. You won’t...

A patient walks into an optometrist's office.

The optometrist starts the eye exam and casually asks her if there's any particular reason she came in for a checkup.

"Doctor, I think am having hallucinations. Every time I open my eyes, I see really dark things. Evil. Malice. Hatred. Plague. I am seeing the worst in everything. Nothing look...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman was in the middle of the affair, when her husband came home early

The lover was immediately sent to the closet. Little did the lover know, the child of the wife was there the entire time.

- It is really dark in here. - said the child.

- Yes, indeed. - answered the lover quitely after realising the situation.

- Do you like baseball? - asked th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In the time of the Ottoman Empire, there was a wedding.

Back then, weddings were pretty big, and also long. People used to travel tens or hundreds of kilometers to attend at a wedding. For that reason, they would stay for a few days as guests. They would normally sleep in really big rooms, on the floor, and women and men would normally be separated... ...

Two blondes fall into a well

The first one says “wow it’s really dark in here” the other says “really? I can’t see anything.”

A young boy and an old man are walking in the woods at night.





"It's really dark and I'm scared, can we go home now?"



"If you're scared, imagine what it'll be like when I have to walk back alone."

A 12 year old boy comes home early from the playground

and to his surprise when he enters his house, he hears loud moaning voices coming from his parent's room, in a confused state he quickly hides in his room. His father also comes home early, and the boyfriend of his mother comes running down and hides in the kids room as well.

Kid: It's reall...

Women are always right!!

A couple came home late and it was really dark in there. Wife took out the keys and tried opening the door while her husband was holding the flash light. She struggles quite a while and then finally lets her husband to give it a try. Now she's holding the light. The husband opens it with ease.
.....

Light bulb thief

I came across an open package of light bulbs at work today.

I thought to myself, "Stealing lightbulbs? This guy must be in a really dark place".

Engineer goes to Hell...

The engineer looks around, confused, and sees that despite having lived what he felt was a pious and good life, he is in Hell.

Satan quickly introduces himself. "Welcome to Hell. I can't say i was expecting you, so i guess St. Peter made a mistake when he put you on the Hell list. I'll have ...

So one night I was drinking at the pub for a while and decided it was time to head home

I had too much to drink so I had to walk home. It started raining on my way so I decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery to get home faster.

It was really dark and eventually I found myself fallen into an open grave, I tried to climb out but the wall was wet and slippery, and kept bre...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.