A limerick writ for a Twit

An executive reckless and bitter

Made a fool of himself via Twitter

*"Please stop!"* they entreated

But in answer he Tweeted

*"If I do they might call me a quitter"*

One day YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook will merge...

It'll be called YouTwitFace.

Irish Vs. English

An English naval vessel is called to attention by an Irish Guard.

Irish: Aye, approaching vessel, I advise ye turn 15 degrees south to avoid a collision.

The English Captain replies: "Negative, sir. We advise you redirect 15 degrees north to avoid said collision."

Irish: I repea...

A man walks down the streets of New York dragging a dead horse.

A passer by sees the scene and intrigued goes and asks "What are you doing dragging a dead horse in the middle of the city streets?"

Man says "Help me cross it the street and I'll tell you."

Passer by helps him out "Now will you tell me?"

Man says "Help me get it up to the 5th f...

Doctor, Doctor! Can I have some sleeping pills for my husband?

Doctor: Why's that?

Woman: The relsiliant twit woke up again...

The greatest merger of all time

It was announced today that YouTube, Facebook and Twitter will all be merging.

The new name will be YouTwitFace

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So a retiree decides to take a part time job as a Wal-Mart greeter...

...On his first day, this horrid lady walks in to the store, yelling horrible things at her two children. The man smiles, and she glares back. Undeterred the man continues to smile and says "Oh, I love your twins!" Of course, her children are at least two years apart, and while they share common fea...

Two owls sat on a branch

One said to the other "i got married the other day" to which the second replies, "You twit, to who?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Irishman walks into a therapists office...

**Therapist**: "So, what seems to be the problem, Mr. Andrews?"

**Mr. Andrews**: "I feel guilty. I start drinkin' at noon 'til the missus comes 'ome, then she berates me for drinkin' all day instead of findin' work. We argue for a while 'til I'm fed up an' head down to the pub with the ...

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