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Twit Jokes

Now that Elon Musk has bought Twitter and laid off half the staff, he’s planning on buying YouTube and Facebook and doing the same with them. To save even more money, he plans on merging the three companies into one…

…He’s going to call it YouTwitFace.

A limerick writ for a Twit

An executive reckless and bitter

Made a fool of himself via Twitter

*"Please stop!"* they entreated

But in answer he Tweeted

*"If I do they might call me a quitter"*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

James and his giant peach

James was a delivery boy of amazing delicious fresh Indian food from one island to another. James loved peaches, the head chef told him to take a small peach and everyday he rowed out to the neighbouring island , for his good deed his peach would grow.
James on first day of work collected butter ...

One day YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook will merge...

It'll be called YouTwitFace.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So a retiree decides to take a part time job as a Wal-Mart greeter...

...On his first day, this horrid lady walks in to the store, yelling horrible things at her two children. The man smiles, and she glares back. Undeterred the man continues to smile and says "Oh, I love your twins!" Of course, her children are at least two years apart, and while they share common ...

Doctor, Doctor! Can I have some sleeping pills for my husband?

Doctor: Why's that?

Woman: The relsiliant twit woke up again...

The greatest merger of all time

It was announced today that YouTube, Facebook and Twitter will all be merging.

The new name will be YouTwitFace

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"12 Days Of Christmas - Bayou Style"

Day 1 Dear Boudreaux, Thanks for de bird in de Pear tree. I fix it
las' night with dirty rice. I doan tink de pear tree will grow
in the swamp, so I swap it for a Satsuma.


Day 2 Dear Boudreaux, You letter say you sent two turtle doves, but
all I got was two scrawny pigeon...

Irish Vs. English

An English naval vessel is called to attention by an Irish Guard.

Irish: Aye, approaching vessel, I advise ye turn 15 degrees south to avoid a collision.

The English Captain replies: "Negative, sir. We advise you redirect 15 degrees north to avoid said collision."

Irish: I repea...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Irishman walks into a therapists office...

**Therapist**: "So, what seems to be the problem, Mr. Andrews?"

**Mr. Andrews**: "I feel guilty. I start drinkin' at noon 'til the missus comes 'ome, then she berates me for drinkin' all day instead of findin' work. We argue for a while 'til I'm fed up an' head down to the pub with the ...

A man walks down the streets of New York dragging a dead horse.

A passer by sees the scene and intrigued goes and asks "What are you doing dragging a dead horse in the middle of the city streets?"

Man says "Help me cross it the street and I'll tell you."

Passer by helps him out "Now will you tell me?"

Man says "Help me get it up to the 5th f...

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