I've been asked to take over as Chief Clown...

I've got some big shoes to fill.

One day Canada will take over the world

Then you'll all be sorry

What do you call it when the floor staff at a chicken processing facility take over the business without the owner's permission?

A coup de coop.

What do you call it when stock traders take over your home?

An investation

At his deathbed, father-of-three Joe tells his wife Joan: "Let John take over the family business." Joan: "Jimmy's better in business. Let John help him." "OK but let Jack have my F150." Joan: "But John is better at maintaining it." OK, but let Jack have the Ford Mustang."

Joan: "Can he share it with Jimmy?" Joe sighed and said: "Honey, who's dying - - you or me?"

Disney is attempting to take over and brainwash our country by bringing back '80s Mickey Mouse merchandise

NOT ON MY WATCH!!

What do you call it when worms take over the world?

Global Worming.

It's 2020. We need to WAKE UP. The biggest threat to humanity is here. This world is dying. We NEED to do something about this. We can't let this virus take over humanity.

Someone delete TikTok ffs.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What has happened when the weeds take over your lawn?

A coup de grass.

How much would it cost to take over the world?

An armageddon and a leg

What's it called when you take over one half of the capital of Hungary?

Pest control

One exotic bird can’t take over the word on its own

But toucan

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did Hitler rush to take over Russia

He didn't like stalin during war.

What do you call a milk monster that wants to take over the universe?

Galactose

What do you call it when a group of dogs take over control of a ship?

A muttiny

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pornhub has managed to take over the adult video industry...

And they've done it single-handedly!

What do you call it when white supremacists take over the government?

Coup klux klan

What do you call it when perfume makers try to take over the world?

Cologneialism

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why does everything turn to shit after the British take over it?

Because its colon-ization.

Why did it take Germany six weeks to take over France?

Someone was probably Stalin.

You may be able to take over Europe

But it’ll come at a holocost.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Chinese take over the world, and start re-organizing the social structure...

They decide that the best way to do things is to separate everyone by race, and keep all white people in Europe and North America, all Asian people in Asia, all black people in Africa, etc.

Now, of course, the issue is that race isn't such a cut-and-dry thing, so after sorting through the obv...

What do you call an herbivorous dinosaur with a plan to take over the world?

A stegalomaniac.

How did the Germans take over Poland so quickly?

They marched in backwards, so the Poles thought they were leaving.

What happens when a plant tries to take over its own forest?

It comits *tree*son.

AI will silently take over a lot of industries until it gets to carpentry...

then suddenly everyone will start coming out of the wood work

When the Mexicans finally invade and take over Los Angeles, what will the city be renamed to?

El Eyyyy

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why didn't willy wonka choose violet to take over the factory?

Because that would require a woman to break the glass ceiling.

How many mutants do you need to take over a Ship?

5 MutantA MutantB MutantC MutantD and Mutiny

I grew up in an interesting home...

My father was Irish and my mother is German. That means that every once in a while they would get drunk and try to take over the world.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two boys in Egypt free a crocodile...

In a small village in Egypt lived two orphan boys, Set and Amenhotep. They always watched out for each other, well past their years of childhood and into their time as young adults.

One day, the two were walking outside the village when they saw a crocodile trapped in a poacher’s snare. The t...

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Two Israelis are sitting on the beach in Tel Aviv...

... reading newspapers. One is reading a reputed newspaper published in Tel Aviv, but the other is reading an anti-Semitic propaganda paper published by Iranian subverts.

The first guy asks the second: "why in God's name are you reading that anti-Semitic rag?"

The second guy responded...

In an alternate reality, bears speak and coexist with humans.

A prominent electrician (who happened to be a bear) employed several humans for various positions within his company. Some were in customer service, handling the phones. Others were on-site technicians who drove around town from job to job. One human, Mike, was hired to do two different jobs inside ...

A British man was talking to his friend about his views on Brexit...

"These bloody immigrants come over here. They're up to no good, right? I hate these bloody immigrants. They need to go back to where they came from."


His friend replies with "But why do you hate them so much?"


The British man replies, "I'll tell you why I hate them, I'll te...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man dies, and is sent to hell.

He meets up with the Devil and the Devil says “you know what, I’m feeling generous today. I’ll let you pick out your punishment. There are three doors here, and you must choose one. Since I’m feeling extra nice, I’ll let you see them first.”

The man goes up to door number one and sees a naked...

The caretaker of a generation ship was on his death bed

Many years before, Jacques had helped place all his friends and family into cryogenic sleep. He was a young man then and they all knew that he would likely be long dead by the time they reached their destination. They said their tearful goodbyes and drifted off to sleep.

In the years he spent...

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