UPJOKE
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One day Canada will take over the world...

and then you'll all be sorry

What do you call it when stock traders take over your home?

An investation

I've been asked to take over as Chief Clown...

I've got some big shoes to fill.

Don't let corona virus dominate you, don't let it take over your lives, I know there is a risk, I know there is a danger

but that's okay, now *I'm* better



*quick note: that's not a joke that's literally what he just said*

What do you call it when the floor staff at a chicken processing facility take over the business without the owner's permission?

A coup de coop.

What do you call it when worms take over the world?

Global Worming.

how did the chicken take over the hen house?

in a coop d’etat

One exotic bird can’t take over the word on its own

But toucan

What do you call a milk monster that wants to take over the universe?

Galactose

It's 2020. We need to WAKE UP. The biggest threat to humanity is here. This world is dying. We NEED to do something about this. We can't let this virus take over humanity.

Someone delete TikTok ffs.

Hear about the Cheese Secret Society trying to take over the world?

Hallouminati confirmed.

What's it called when you take over one half of the capital of Hungary?

Pest control

At his deathbed, father-of-three Joe tells his wife Joan: "Let John take over the family business." Joan: "Jimmy's better in business. Let John help him." "OK but let Jack have my F150." Joan: "But John is better at maintaining it." OK, but let Jack have the Ford Mustang."

Joan: "Can he share it with Jimmy?" Joe sighed and said: "Honey, who's dying - - you or me?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What has happened when the weeds take over your lawn?

A coup de grass.

Disney is attempting to take over and brainwash our country by bringing back '80s Mickey Mouse merchandise

NOT ON MY WATCH!!

How much would it cost to take over the world?

An armageddon and a leg

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pornhub has managed to take over the adult video industry...

And they've done it single-handedly!

What do you call it when white supremacists take over the government?

Coup klux klan

What do you call it when a group of dogs take over control of a ship?

A muttiny

AI won't take over the world

Because artificial intelligence will never beat human stupidity.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why does everything turn to shit after the British take over it?

Because its colon-ization.

Why did it take Germany six weeks to take over France?

Someone was probably Stalin.

What do you call it when perfume makers try to take over the world?

Cologneialism

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Chinese take over the world, and start re-organizing the social structure...

They decide that the best way to do things is to separate everyone by race, and keep all white people in Europe and North America, all Asian people in Asia, all black people in Africa, etc.

Now, of course, the issue is that race isn't such a cut-and-dry thing, so after sorting through the obv...

How did Germany take over Poland so quick in World War 2?

The Germans marched in backwards, so the Polish thought they were leaving

What do you call an herbivorous dinosaur with a plan to take over the world?

A stegalomaniac.

Who will take over after Kim Jong-un?

His next of Kim

AI will silently take over a lot of industries until it gets to carpentry...

then suddenly everyone will start coming out of the wood work

What happens when a plant tries to take over its own forest?

It comits *tree*son.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why didn't willy wonka choose violet to take over the factory?

Because that would require a woman to break the glass ceiling.

How many mutants do you need to take over a Ship?

5 MutantA MutantB MutantC MutantD and Mutiny

Two brothers are knights, and one is kidnapped by a foul witch

The older brother goes to rescue his brother from the clenches of the awful witch. When he arrives, he points his sword at her and demands that she let his brother go.

"You cannot kill me with that sword, pitiful knight," she says, "for I am far too powerful. You must offer me something in ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A joke written by the AI, ChatGPT

The sky above the port was the color of a moldy jellyfish, a sickly green that made everyone below feel nauseous. But a group of rebellious clowns, led by the hapless hero Isaac Newton, had a plan to bring some joy to the dreary sky. Using a circus tent and a lot of helium, they intended to lift the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two boys in Egypt free a crocodile...

In a small village in Egypt lived two orphan boys, Set and Amenhotep. They always watched out for each other, well past their years of childhood and into their time as young adults.

One day, the two were walking outside the village when they saw a crocodile trapped in a poacher’s snare. The t...

The boss called one of his employees into the office.

“Rob," he said, "you've been with the company for a year. You started off in the post room, one week later you were promoted to a sales position, and one month after that you were promoted to district manager of the sales department. Just four short months later, you were promoted to vice-chairman. ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day a teacher was in a coma.

One day a teacher was in a coma. He had to have a substitute take over his position for a while. The substitute was so annoying. He would always wear clothes with jokes on them. They were almost always the same jokes, occasionally with a minor difference. On very rare occasions, there would be new a...

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