A farmer purchases an old, run-down, abandoned farm with plans to turn it into a thriving enterprise

The fields are grown over with weeds, the farmhouse is falling apart, and the fences are collapsing all around.
During his first day of work, the town preacher stops by to bless the man’s work, saying, “May you and God work together to make this the farm of your dreams!”
A few months later, th...

Apparently most people in The Vatican make their purchases online

Makes sense. I mean, they are a PayPal state

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The Bocelli leather shoes.

Gennaro is in this country for only 6 months. He walks to work 20 blocks every day and passes a shoe store. Each day he stops and looks in the window to admire the Boccelli leather shoes. He wants those shoes so much... it's all he can think about.

After about 2 months he saves the price of t...

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A bright, young graduate joined the Internal Revenue Service.

A bright, young graduate joined the Internal Revenue Service. Anxious for his first investigation he was a bit perturbed when he was assigned to audit a Rabbi.

Looking over the books and taxes was pretty straightforward and the Rabbi was clearly very frugal, so he thought he’d make his day in...

Been analysing my spending and it turns out rather than large purchases, most of my expenditure seems to go on the mysterious middle aisle in German supermarkets.

To put it another way: it’s not the big things, it’s Aldi Lidl things.

A man walks into a pharmacy…

He buys one condom, then walks out of the
store laughing hysterically. The pharmacist thinks this is weird, but, hey, there's no law preventing weird people from buying
condoms. Maybe it's a good thing.

The next day, the man comes back to the store, purchases another condom, and once a...

What did dinosaurs prefer to use to pay for their purchases?

Obviously tyrannosaurus cheques.

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With the recent spike in sex toy purchases because of corona virus, I can only draw one conclusion.

The virus is literally making us go fuck ourselves.

Playstation has no limits...

But I was thinking... maybe they should?

Like, at least they could limit ps5 purchases to just 1 per person‽

I'd be OK with that...

I have a bank account specifically for my marijuana purchases.

I call it my Joint bank account.

John wants have a good time with his girlfriend at prom...

First he needs to get prom tickets. He has to stand in line for fifteen minutes. But he gets the tickets for him and his girlfriend.

Then he needs to get his tux. After finding a perfect tux at the tailor shop, he has to wait in line for thirty minutes to get to the register. But he eventuall...

The other day during lunch break I saw one of my colleagues playing some kind of war game on his smartphone. As I poured my coffee I asked him about the game he was playing and we started small talking. Few minutes into our small talk he stated that so far he'd spend $700 in in game purchases.

I bursted into a loud laughter while shouting how that was the stupidest thing and biggest waste of money I've ever heard of!

Man, I was still laughing out loud in disbelief walking off and even still chuckling as I entered the smoking room

A blonde woman is distraught because she thinks her husband is having an affair, so she goes out and purchases a handgun...

The following day she comes home and finds her husband in bed with a gorgeous brunette.

She grabs the gun and holds it against her own temple.

The husband immediately jumps out of bed, begging her not to shoot herself.

Hysterically the blonde yells, "Shut up! You're next!!"

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk a carton of eggs a quart of orange juice a head of romaine lettuce a 2 lb. can of coffee a 1 lb. package of bacon

As she was unloading her items onto the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her was watching.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict'...

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Frank, an aerospace engineer, purchases an old iPod and fills it with his favorite bands...

He's in his office trying to get his newly acquired gadget to work when the janitor, Joe, walks into the office and asks, "Hey man, what are you listening to?"


Frank replies, "Nothing yet! I can't get this damn thing to work! Can you help me?"


Joe decides to gives it a shot, s...

How does the Pope make online purchases?

Using his Papal account.

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