My wife is kicking me out because she's fed up with my South American animal puns...

'OK,' I said, 'Alpaca my bags.'

There are so many bad puns in this sub it making me numb. But the worst are the math ones.

They make me even number.

I have achieved my life's goal of writing an entire theatrical performance made up entirely of puns.

It's a play on words.

Military puns are funny...

Generally speaking.

A few puns make me numb

But math puns make me number

My boyfriend never gets my fruit puns

Perhaps I should let this mango.

If puns didn’t exist

Jokes would have chlines

My wife hates how I love making puns with Bruce Willis movie titles, and wishes I would stop. But you know what they say....

Old habits Pulp Fiction.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Daily puns until I get a relationship #1

My dog recently gave birth to a litter of puppies, and one of them is always fighting his siblings. He’s such a son of a bitch

Join in on a Pun Thread

Hello Pun enthusiasts,

Comment a subject and let fellow redditors make puns about that subject

Why's it hard to explain puns to a kleptomaniac?

They take things literally.

Daily puns until I get a relationship #2

A tomato and a head of lettuce we’re having a race. The tomato was not very fast, so he was far behind.

One of the spectators said to his friend: “Lettuce hope that the tomato will ketchup to the lettuce, or else my wife will win the bet and I will have to give her head.”

If you’re dating someone who doesn’t enjoy Star Wars puns...

Then you’re looking in Alderaan places

A young boy submitted 10 puns to a joke competition.

He thought at least one of them would win an award, but no pun in ten did.

Oasis song puns.

I'm bored. Here's some puns based on Oasis songs. D' you know what I mean?



Q - Why does Noel have no life insurance plan?

A - Live forever.



Q - What's Noel's advice on avoiding road rage when tail-gated?

A - Don't look back in anger.



Q -...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Daily puns until I enter a relationship #3

What does a horny skeleton get?

A boner.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Wife and I making bird puns in bed

We were laying in bed, when I looked over and said "hey make like a bird and swallow this dick!" She smiled and pulled my pajama bottoms off. I closed my eyes awaiting bliss, when all of a sudden she repeatedly head butts my dick. After scrambling away and gasping in pain, I looked at her and exclai...

What's the difference between dad jokes and puns?

Someone's here to tell puns

My wife said she'd divorce me if I kept making Shrek puns

I told her to get ogre it

My wife left me because of my constant zodiac puns.

It finally Taurus apart.

Puns are like paper.

They're tearable.

There was a pun competition in my town recently.

The newspaper came with the advert. Anybody could send as many puns as they wanted. So I decided to send 10 of them. You know, the more you send the more chances of winning.

Pretty cool, right?

When the results came, I was shocked to see I didn't win.

No pun in ten did.

Does anyone know any good tree puns?

I'm pining fir a new one, but they're not that poplar.

Ya'll seem to like puns, so:

• Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

• How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.

• England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

• I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

• They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a typo.

• I changed my iPod’s name to Tita...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

a list of puns!

Here's a list of puns I've been collecting:

How do you throw a space party? You planet.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

Nope. Unintended.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but everyone was blow away by the leaf blower.

A scarecrow says,...

I hate insect puns.

They bug me.

People tell me to stop making puns, but I can't

Every time I try to swallow my words, I joke on them.

Did you know turtles have the ability to understand puns?

I wish they would have tortoise that in school.

Puns about Russia...

Some are Volga but Moscow them are pretty lame.

In 2020 we're going to have an entire year of bad puns about vision

I can see it clearly.

If I keep making all these cheesy puns

I'm gonna be provalone forever!

Cat puns really freak meowt

I am not Kitten.

I just don't understand it when people create puns about Covid 19

Is there some sick joke that I'm not getting here?

Some say that puns aren't very funny, while others take them very seriously...

I guess the one thing we can all agree on is that puns are no joke.

I really excel at Microsoft puns.

You've to take my word for it.

I scrolled through 10 puns to see if they could make me laugh

No pun intended

Today my culinary teacher challenged us to make a food pun

She’s going to have a rutebega’ning when we tell her challenging kids isn’t kosher.

If there's a bee in my hand, what's in my eye?

Beauty. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

ITT: People who want to kill me, people who think I'm their add, more puns about bees, puns about beer, ‟oh I get it”, and ‟ths joke is more like a riddle”

I heard you like tree puns...

Willow Yule please tell me what kind Juniper Fir?

Bread puns happened when you

Yeast expect them

Why are written puns worse than puns spoken aloud?

Puns on paper are tearable.

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