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I've posted 9 puns here in this sub but none of them got upvoted. If this one doesn't either, then...

...no pun in ten did

My dad doesn't really like puns, so we told him our top 10 to see if any could make him laugh...

No pun in 10 did.

I entered ten puns in a contest to see which would win.

No pun in ten did.

My wife said I should stop making stupid puns and take her abortion more seriously.



I won't let this d-fetus.

Someone told me they could tell better cheese puns than me.

I told him to leave the provalone.

It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs...

Because they take everything literally.

A man decided to enter a local newspaper’s pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that one would win.

Unfortunately no pun in ten did…

I take my puns VERY seriously

(no fun intended)

Intended pun

My brother broke his arm and I told him ten puns, one right after the other trying to make him laugh. As it turns out, he doesn't like puns, so no pun in ten did.

I once wrote an entire theater production based on puns.

It was a play on words.

does anyone know any good sword-fighting puns? I'm trying to think of words that have...

...a duel meaning.

What happened to the all of the good chemistry puns?

The best chemistry puns argon.

Some very beefy puns...

What do you call a cow with no legs?

>!ground beef.!<

What do you call a cow with one leg?

>!Steak. !<

What do you call a cow with two legs?

>!Lean beef. !<

What do you call a cow with three legs?

>!Tri-tip. !<

What ...

so... about geology puns

So, right, geology puns need to hit ***hard*** , i suppose.. To make the jokes better you can add a ***layer*** into it, the delivery should be ***segmented*** and indicated to make it easier to understand the joke, you don't always need to fulfil this instruction tho, i mean we didn't need to do no...

One time a standup comedian started telling direction puns.

They were downright disgraceful; the audience up and left.

A man noted for telling puns was locked into a dark closet, and told he would not be released until he made up a pun about the situation.

He immediately shouted, "Oh, pun the door!"

My wife said she would divorce me if I didn't stop my cheese related puns.

It's no fondue be married to such a Munster anyways.

Did you know Gregorian monks aren't allowed to make puns?

They cant

Most puns make me feel numb. But mathematics puns make me feel....

........number

Gonna be getting on the trend of binary puns and going to be writing 10000000 binary puns.

Update: Sometimes I byte off more than I can chew.

If you’re dating someone who doesn’t enjoy Star Wars puns...

Then you’re looking in Alderaan places

My wife is kicking me out because she's fed up with my South American animal puns...

'OK,' I said, 'Alpaca my bags.'

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Awful puns are jokes too.

I was telling my mate Edward that I couldn't stop referring to myself as male genetalia. He told me I could stop any time I wanted.

I said, "No, I'm a dick, Ted."

Communist puns are great and all, but too many of them are just replacing the word "marks" with "Marx."

If you want to be original, you should really approach them from some different Engels.

Why are calendar puns so bad?

Because they are always so week and dated

I submitted 10 puns to a joke-writing competition to see if any of them made the finals.

Sadly, no pun in ten did.

My wife hates me because I make too many Pokemon puns

She's just Shellos

There are many problems with math puns.

Calculus jokes are mostly derivative, trigonometry jokes are too graphic, algebra jokes are usually formulaic, and arithmetic jokes are pretty basic.

But the occasional statistics joke is an outlier.

I really like rock puns.

They're something we shouldn't take for granite. I mean, they are pretty solid.

Let's just face it, geology rocks!


PS: I just hit rock bottom, didn't I?

I’ve heard a lot of puns in my lifetime, some great, others horrible

But I think the one about the kleptomaniac baker really takes the cake.

Happy cake day to me

My wife had asked me to stop using police related puns..

I guess I’ll give them “ arrest”.

I don't know why I love bad puns so much.

It's just how eye roll.

There are so many bad puns in this sub it making me numb. But the worst are the math ones.

They make me even number.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A list of puns

Here's a list of puns I've been collecting:

How do you throw a space party? You planet.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

Nope. Unintended.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but everyone was blow away by the leaf blower.

A scarecrow says,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Wife and I making bird puns in bed

We were laying in bed, when I looked over and said "hey make like a bird and swallow this dick!" She smiled and pulled my pajama bottoms off. I closed my eyes awaiting bliss, when all of a sudden she repeatedly head butts my dick. After scrambling away and gasping in pain, I looked at her and exclai...

Seamen never laugh at my puns.

They're just too littoral.

I only do so many puns...

...because I'm dad inside.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Good puns are like double sided dildos.

They work both ways, but you need someone else to really enjoy it.

I promise this joke does not contain any horse puns whatsoever...

April Foals!

After hours of research i still cant make puns about trees

You'd think everything I've Redwood help

I heard Reddit likes puns so I posted ten of them thinking at least one would reach the first page

No pun in ten did

My wife left me because of my constant zodiac puns.

It finally Taurus apart.

Does anyone know any good tree puns?

I'm pining fir a new one, but they're not that poplar.

I asked my friend why has he stopped making jokes and puns about Trump after he was sacked from the White House.

He said he's Biden his time

In 2020 we're going to have an entire year of bad puns about vision

I can see it clearly.

Corny puns

Why can't the headless horseman ever win a race?

A: Because he can never get a head

What is Tiger Wood's favorite type of club?

A: The wood

I love plant puns....

They're so ferny.

I have achieved my life's goal of writing an entire theatrical performance made up entirely of puns.

It's a play on words.

Military puns are funny...

Generally speaking.

My wife hates how I love making puns with Bruce Willis movie titles, and wishes I would stop. But you know what they say....

Old habits Pulp Fiction.

bee puns

why do bees have sticky hair

because they use honeycombs

Puns about communism arent funny

unless everyone gets them.

What do you call an onslaught of puns?

A punderstorm

My girlfriend told me she wanted to break up with me because of my obsession with water puns.

I told her that this isn't how I wanted our relationship to dry up.

People tell me to stop making puns, but I can't

Every time I try to swallow my words, I joke on them.

I hate insect puns.

They bug me.

Bread puns happened when you

Yeast expect them

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