UPJOKE

### Want to see all the decimal digits of Pi?

They are {0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9}, and there are no others!

### Happy Pi Day

Me: I dreamed my teacher is making me read out endless values of π.

Psychiatrist: Is it recurring?

Me: Not as far as anyone can tell.

### What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes?

Fat. You get fat.

You were expecting a joke about pi? On my cake day?

### A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer are asked "what is pi?"

The mathematician says "pi is the ratio of a circumference to its diameter".

The physicist says "pi is 3.1415"

The engineer says "it's about 3"

### My Pi Day joke

There was a village that had four competing pie shops, each inhabiting their own corner of the town. One of these shops was named "The Circle".

The Circle wanted to gain an edge on the other shops, they wanted to stand out. They realized they could transport more pies in their boxes if they ...

### I know every single digit of pi!

I just don't have them in the right order.

### Me: “Happy Pi day!”

Her: “Aren’t you a few days late lol?”
Me: “Sorry, I was being irrational”

Backwards.

### Chuck Norris's password is the last 9 digits of pi.

Chuck Norris can divide by 0.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice

Chuck Norris can cross a vector with a scalar

Chuck Norris is so tough he can draw a circle with exactly 100 degrees.

Chuck Norris is so badass he can find value of a variable in an expansion without fac...

### If I rated my love for you from 1-10 it’d be pi

Because it is both infinite, and not that much.

### Today is Pi Day

Thanks, America! Now I know π=14.03

### 5 Jokes About Pi

1. Divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter and what do you get?
Pumpkin Pi

2. I saw a movie and gave it a 3.1415 out of 5.
It was Life of Pi

3. My friend decided to get a tattoo of the symbol pi on his face.
It was an irrational decision

4. Who was the r...

### What language should you speak on Pi day?

Sine language!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

### These fucking Pi jokes today

are going to be endless.

### Why should you never talk to pi?

She'll go on and on forever...

### What do Pi and anti-vaxxers have in common?

They’re both irrational.

### Why don't mathematicians tell jokes about pi?

Because they're never-ending and irrational!

### Never talk to pi at a party..

It just goes on forever. Happy pi Day everyone.

### They say today is Pi Day

but for me it will always be cake day!

### finally memorized the digits og Pi up to 10 digits.

0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

But sadly i dont know the order.

### It's only a matter of time before the Pi-variant of the Coronavirus is discovered now.

We'll have come full circle then.

### Eating too much cake is the sin of gluttony

However, eating too much pie is okay, because the sin of pi is zero.

### The PI awakens to a creaking door...

A rookie steps into his office with a manilla folder.

"Another murder case?" Quips the private investigator, "Uh-huh" goes the rookie as he slides the folder across the desk.

Upon opening it, the room is filled to the brim with crows.

### One day i told a psychiatrist that pi wasn’t real.

She said i was being irrational.

### My girlfriend is like Pi.

Completely irrational.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

### What’s the similarity between boobs and Raspberry Pi computers?

Both were intended for kids but it’s the adults that end up playing with them more

### On a scale from 1-10 my pain seems to always be Pi

It may be a low level but it goes on forever

ate something

### I started memorizing the digits of pi

Then I realized it was irrational.

### I want to open a restaurant called Pi.

All the food is round, but the pie are square.

Over the carpet

Cake.

### Pi and i were having an argument

When suddenly i shouted “will you just be rational”
Pi responded “ get real”
Happy pi day

Sir Cumference

### I tried to connect my Raspberry Pi to my printer....

But the printer always jams!

### A friend has a fear of pi.

I keep telling him it's irrational, but he doesn't listen.

### When you turn pi/2 in 1

Forgive me God for I have sinned.

### Pi and -7 walks into a bar

They both ordered drinks.

" I identify as a fraction!" said Pi

"You cannot be a fraction" said -7

"I can identify as a letter if I want, I can be an equal sign if I
want!!! Don't tell me who to be! You are so negative."

-7 sighed, took a sip of his drink and said "you...

### e, pi and i might be different

But e, with the power of pi and i is absolutely 1! #mathcanbefunny

### Why is 6 afraid of pi?

Most say it’s an irrational fear

### 39 digits of pi accurately calculates the circumference of the universe to the width of a hydrogen atom

Scientists still can’t determine how much is needed for your mother though

### Couldn't find any round pies for Pi Day!

My baker insists pie are squared

### I made this up on the spot and I'm really proud of it.

This isn't the best joke, but I'm really proud of how it came out. My sister and I are both in town visiting our parents for the first time in years. I keep dropping bad puns and my sister keeps yelling at me.

Tonight, we were telling stories from our youth, and I told her this one. She was r...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

### "Pi R Squared", said my math teacher.

"Bullshit!" I exclaimed. "Pie are round!"

### Pi is very important .....

Without it our opinions would just be onions. :(

### Pi said to i, "Get real!"

"Be rational!" responds i.

Finally, e breaks them up as it said "Join me, and we'll become one."

>e^pi ^i + 1 = 0

### Minecraft PiCkUp LiNeS

Girl, are you a redstone torch, because you really turn me on

### Pi-ku

Math is fun

When

Mixed with some pie

### Pi compliment

Wow, you look radian today.

### Why does nobody talks to pi?

He's irrational and he goes on forever..

### Pi day jokes

I'm a tutor at a school and me and my students are having a Pi day celebration and we are having Pie and Pi trivia. I would appreciate it if you guys gave me some Pi or Pie related riddles. Please nothing about sir cumference or magnum pi or moon pi or cow pi. I need riddles that I can't find by doi...

### You know what they say about Pi Day...

It really is an irrational holiday.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

### A math professor, John, is having problems with his sink so he calls a plumber.

The plumber comes over and quickly fixes the sink. The professor is happy until he gets the bill. He tells the plumber, "How can you charge this much? This is half of my paycheck." But he pays it anyways.

The plumber tells him, "Hey, we are looking for more plumbers. You could become a plumbe...

### what's wrong with pi?

He is irrational and goes on and on - says the wife of pi

### I know the first 1,000,000 digits of pi..

its their order that I’m still foggy on

It never ends.

### C'mon, guys. Let's stop talking about pi day.

Its getting irrational.

### Girl, are you pi?

'Cause you are long and sweet.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

### Everyone seems to be making jokes about pi, radius, and diameters today

Honestly sounds like a big circle jerk

### Why did the PI detective cross the road?

He needed to keep up with Jenny's U-turns.

### So, these two engineers are trying to determine the height of a flagpole...

...A blonde woman wearing a tool belt and hardhat comes walking by, notices the engineers with their problem and goes over to help. She loosens the bolts at the base of the pole, lays it down on its side, then takes her tape measure and runs it down the side of the pole.

"26 feet 6 inches" S...

### e^(i*pi) + 1 = 0

I'm having an identity crisis.

Charizard

it never ends

### I came home to my wife yelling "The square root of pi!" angrily.

I told her she was being irrational.

### I can see quite a number of these Pi jokes coming from a mile away.

Although I can't seem to catch their ending no matter how I try.

### I set my password to be the last 4 digits of pi.

Nobody's ever been able to crack it.

### A number is visiting a letter's house, where the letter is cooking a pi in the oven.

The number says "Decimal of that pi is so delicious. I wanna taste it so bad!"

The letter said "Alphabet you do."

### I tried arguing with the Priests of Pi about religion...

But they just kept relying on circular logic.

### National Survey Reports Pi day as America's Third-Most Underrated Holiday

To me it's a little bit more than that.

### Chinese PI

A guy believed that his wife is cheating on him, so he hired a private investigator. The cheapest he could find was a Chinese man. This was the Chinese PI's report about what he found: "Most honorable, sir. You leave house. I watch house. He come to house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. ...

### My friend decided to get a tattoo of Pi on his face.

It was an irrational decision.

### Inflation has got so bad..

that pi is now best approximated to 5.2

### What did the number 1 say to π (pi)?

Let's get rational you can't carry on like this!

### A man dies and goes to Hell.

Satan greets him and says, "Welcome to hell, Dave. First, the Wi-fi password is..."

Dave says, "Wait, you guys have wi-fi?"

Satan replies, "Of course we do."

"That's certainly not bad at all" says Dave.

Satan continues, "So, as I was saying, the wi-fi password is the numb...

### People are worrying about Huawei stealing personal info but it's the Western technologies (Apple, Blackberry, Raisin, Raspberry pi) that we should be concerned about.

They're much more likely to be inciders.

Chicken pot pi

An investigator

### My buddies always ask me how I can get fat girls to bed so quick.

I tell them t’s easy, just a piece of cake

### Netflix has devised the perfect way to stop the distribution of pirated movies

They now block all movies with an IMDB rating of 3.14 ;)

Pi-rated .. sorry ;)

### As I sit here eating my Pi day pie, I'm looking forward to also celebrating Tau day.

Then my desserts will have come full circle.

Pi-rates.

### Somebody asked if I could explain what Pi Day was again.

I told him I didn't want to repeat myself.

### The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was...

Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi

### When I get women into bed, I treat them like pi...

Just another number, and an irrational one at that.

### What do you call it when you can’t find your buried treasure 3.14 times and are furious about it

Being pi-irate

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