UPJOKE

### Want to see all the decimal digits of Pi?

They are {0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9}, and there are no others!

### What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes?

Fat. You get fat.

You were expecting a joke about pi? On my cake day?

### I know every single digit of pi!

I just don't have them in the right order.

### Chuck Norris's password is the last 9 digits of pi.

Chuck Norris can divide by 0.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice

Chuck Norris can cross a vector with a scalar

Chuck Norris is so tough he can draw a circle with exactly 100 degrees.

Chuck Norris is so badass he can find value of a variable in an expansion without fac...

### Happy Pi Day

Me: I dreamed my teacher is making me read out endless values of π.

Psychiatrist: Is it recurring?

Me: Not as far as anyone can tell.

### If I rated my love for you from 1-10 it’d be pi

Because it is both infinite, and not that much.

### Me: “Happy Pi day!”

Her: “Aren’t you a few days late lol?”
Me: “Sorry, I was being irrational”

Backwards.

### finally memorized the digits og Pi up to 10 digits.

0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

But sadly i dont know the order.

### A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer are asked "what is pi?"

The mathematician says "pi is the ratio of a circumference to its diameter".

The physicist says "pi is 3.1415"

The engineer says "it's about 3"

### My Pi Day joke

There was a village that had four competing pie shops, each inhabiting their own corner of the town. One of these shops was named "The Circle".

The Circle wanted to gain an edge on the other shops, they wanted to stand out. They realized they could transport more pies in their boxes if they ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

### These fucking Pi jokes today

are going to be endless.

### What do Pi and anti-vaxxers have in common?

They’re both irrational.

### The PI awakens to a creaking door...

A rookie steps into his office with a manilla folder.

"Another murder case?" Quips the private investigator, "Uh-huh" goes the rookie as he slides the folder across the desk.

Upon opening it, the room is filled to the brim with crows.

### Why don't mathematicians tell jokes about pi?

Because they're never-ending and irrational!

### Never talk to pi at a party..

It just goes on forever. Happy pi Day everyone.

### One day i told a psychiatrist that pi wasn’t real.

She said i was being irrational.

### They say today is Pi Day

but for me it will always be cake day!

### It's only a matter of time before the Pi-variant of the Coronavirus is discovered now.

We'll have come full circle then.

Sine language!

### 39 digits of pi accurately calculates the circumference of the universe to the width of a hydrogen atom

Scientists still can’t determine how much is needed for your mother though

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

### What’s the similarity between boobs and Raspberry Pi computers?

Both were intended for kids but it’s the adults that end up playing with them more

### On a scale from 1-10 my pain seems to always be Pi

It may be a low level but it goes on forever

### Today is Pi Day

Thanks, America! Now I know π=14.03

1. Divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter and what do you get?
Pumpkin Pi

2. I saw a movie and gave it a 3.1415 out of 5.
It was Life of Pi

3. My friend decided to get a tattoo of the symbol pi on his face.
It was an irrational decision

4. Who was the r...

### I started memorizing the digits of pi

Then I realized it was irrational.

Over the carpet

### So, these two engineers are trying to determine the height of a flagpole...

...A blonde woman wearing a tool belt and hardhat comes walking by, notices the engineers with their problem and goes over to help. She loosens the bolts at the base of the pole, lays it down on its side, then takes her tape measure and runs it down the side of the pole.

"26 feet 6 inches" S...

### My girlfriend is like Pi.

Completely irrational.

### “How many digits of pi do you know?” - “All of them...

I just always forget the order!”

### I made this up on the spot and I'm really proud of it.

This isn't the best joke, but I'm really proud of how it came out. My sister and I are both in town visiting our parents for the first time in years. I keep dropping bad puns and my sister keeps yelling at me.

Tonight, we were telling stories from our youth, and I told her this one. She was r...

Cake.

### I tried to connect my Raspberry Pi to my printer....

But the printer always jams!

Sir Cumference

### Pi and i were having an argument

When suddenly i shouted “will you just be rational”
Pi responded “ get real”
Happy pi day

### A friend has a fear of pi.

I keep telling him it's irrational, but he doesn't listen.

### I want to open a restaurant called Pi.

All the food is round, but the pie are square.

ate something

### What did Charizard say when he saw Pikachu

Charizard

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### A math professor, John, is having problems with his sink so he calls a plumber.

The plumber comes over and quickly fixes the sink. The professor is happy until he gets the bill. He tells the plumber, "How can you charge this much? This is half of my paycheck." But he pays it anyways.

The plumber tells him, "Hey, we are looking for more plumbers. You could become a plumbe...

### Couldn't find any round pies for Pi Day!

My baker insists pie are squared

### When you turn pi/2 in 1

Forgive me God for I have sinned.

### Eating too much cake is the sin of gluttony

However, eating too much pie is okay, because the sin of pi is zero.

### e, pi and i might be different

But e, with the power of pi and i is absolutely 1! #mathcanbefunny

### Why is 6 afraid of pi?

Most say it’s an irrational fear

### Pi said to i, "Get real!"

"Be rational!" responds i.

Finally, e breaks them up as it said "Join me, and we'll become one."

>e^pi ^i + 1 = 0

### Minecraft PiCkUp LiNeS

Girl, are you a redstone torch, because you really turn me on

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### "Pi R Squared", said my math teacher.

"Bullshit!" I exclaimed. "Pie are round!"

### People are worrying about Huawei stealing personal info but it's the Western technologies (Apple, Blackberry, Raisin, Raspberry pi) that we should be concerned about.

They're much more likely to be inciders.

### A number is visiting a letter's house, where the letter is cooking a pi in the oven.

The number says "Decimal of that pi is so delicious. I wanna taste it so bad!"

The letter said "Alphabet you do."

### Pi and -7 walks into a bar

They both ordered drinks.

" I identify as a fraction!" said Pi

"You cannot be a fraction" said -7

"I can identify as a letter if I want, I can be an equal sign if I
want!!! Don't tell me who to be! You are so negative."

-7 sighed, took a sip of his drink and said "you...

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### Everyone seems to be making jokes about pi, radius, and diameters today

Honestly sounds like a big circle jerk

### I know the first 1,000,000 digits of pi..

its their order that I’m still foggy on

### You know what they say about Pi Day...

It really is an irrational holiday.

### I can see quite a number of these Pi jokes coming from a mile away.

Although I can't seem to catch their ending no matter how I try.

### Why does nobody talks to pi?

He's irrational and he goes on forever..

### I came home to my wife yelling "The square root of pi!" angrily.

I told her she was being irrational.

A Pi-thon

It never ends.

### I set my password to be the last 4 digits of pi.

Nobody's ever been able to crack it.

### Pi is very important .....

Without it our opinions would just be onions. :(

An investigator

### Why did the PI detective cross the road?

He needed to keep up with Jenny's U-turns.

### My friend decided to get a tattoo of Pi on his face.

It was an irrational decision.

### Pi day jokes

I'm a tutor at a school and me and my students are having a Pi day celebration and we are having Pie and Pi trivia. I would appreciate it if you guys gave me some Pi or Pie related riddles. Please nothing about sir cumference or magnum pi or moon pi or cow pi. I need riddles that I can't find by doi...

### e^(i*pi) + 1 = 0

I'm having an identity crisis.

### As I sit here eating my Pi day pie, I'm looking forward to also celebrating Tau day.

Then my desserts will have come full circle.

Doughnuts

### C'mon, guys. Let's stop talking about pi day.

Its getting irrational.

### An Aussie and a Maori walk into a bakery.

...The Aussie steals three pastries and slips them into his pocket. He turns to the Maori and says, "Pretty slick aye, bro? The owner didn't even see me."

Unimpressed, the Maori replies, "Typical dishonest Aussie, bro. I'm gonna show you the honest way and still get the same result."

T...

### Girl, are you pi?

'Cause you are long and sweet.

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### A flat earther dies and goes to heaven.

At the gates of heaven, St. Peter says to them, "Before you enter the gates of heaven, you may ask god one question."

The flat earther asks, "God, is the earth flat?"

God responds, "The earth is 100% a globe."

The flat earther exclaims, "Holy crap! This conspiracy runs deeper th...

### what's wrong with pi?

He is irrational and goes on and on - says the wife of pi

### Pi-ku

Math is fun

When

Mixed with some pie

### A slice of pie in Jamaica is \$2.00. A slice of pie in Barbados is \$2.50. And a slice of pie in Trinidad and Tobago is \$5.00.

These are the Pie-rates of the Carribean.

### I tried arguing with the Priests of Pi about religion...

But they just kept relying on circular logic.

### National Survey Reports Pi day as America's Third-Most Underrated Holiday

To me it's a little bit more than that.

### When I get women into bed, I treat them like pi...

Just another number, and an irrational one at that.

### Searched for a PI service in my area...

Got a delicious apple in the correct geometric shape, but didn't really help me figure out who my wife was cheating on me with...

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### A pig and a donkey are standing out in a farm's field.

The pig tells the donkey: "Man, you sure have a crappy life. They take you out in the morning, have you drag carts, turn millstones, pull the plough, and after dark they feed you a nothing but hay. Meanwhile I'm just eating, sleeping and rolling around in the mud all day long, I sure am lucky not to...

### Chinese PI

A guy believed that his wife is cheating on him, so he hired a private investigator. The cheapest he could find was a Chinese man. This was the Chinese PI's report about what he found: "Most honorable, sir. You leave house. I watch house. He come to house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. ...