Every shape is basically a circle

It's just that they are all edgy.

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There's only one way to end a circle jerk

And that's to let it come full circle

Why do good programmers never put circles into their games?

Because no one likes pointless features.

Why is it called the circle of life?

Because it has no point.

Went to a restaurant that had circles 6 feet apart.

They only served people in the loop.

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A Russian and an Irish wrestler were set to square off for the Olympic gold medal.

Before the final match, the Irish wrestler's trainer came to him and said, "Now, don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian. He's never lost a match because of this 'pretzel' hold he has. It ties you up in knots. Whatever you do, do not let him get you in that hold! If he does, you're ...

Why are farmers so good at drawing circles?

Because the are Protractors

A mature lady gets pulled over for speeding... Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? ... Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.... Older Woman: Oh, I see. ... Officer: Can I see your license please? Older Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.

Officer: You don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving. Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and...

Do you know why the researchers have to take a ship to explore the Arctic circle?

Because there's Norway beyond Scandinavia!

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Why do sharks circle people befor they eat them?

Because people taste better without shit in them....

Daddy, daddy!! Why do I keep walking in circles?!

Shut up or I’ll nail your other foot to the floor!

What did the triangle say to the circle?

**“You’re pointless.”**

I don't mind my geometry teacher asking me to draw a circle. But to then ask me to turn that circle into two equal parts?

That's where I draw the line.

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A psychiatrist was testing a patient’s personality. He drew a circle on a paper.

And asked the patient, “What does this remind you of?”

The patient answered, “Sex.”

The shrink drew a square and asked again, “What does this remind you of?”

“Sex,” the patient replied.

Then the doctor drew a triangle.

“It reminds me of sex,” the patient stated. ...

I told my parents that I’m planning to move to the Arctic circle for work, and they seemed really upset.

My dad said, “I don’t like your latitude.”

2 squares and 2 circles

2 squares were in an argument and 2 circles were in an argument.

The squares were arguing over who was hotter, even though they were both 90 degrees.

The 2 circles argue all the time so the argument was pretty pointless.

(Thought of this in the shower. It’s a little cheesy)

Squares are cool, but circles have

pi

Circle

why did the shapes kicked circle out of their discord server?

Because circle was all edge, no point

how to eat a human

a shark teaching his son " always circle around these humans 5 times before eating them"

the son replied " why can't I just eat them directly ?"

the shark replied " well, if you wanna eat them along with their feces it's your choice"

Do you know any maths jokes?

Yeah |ly|

When I was learning trigonometry my teacher explained the trig functions by referencing the unit circle. And when I asked about the unit circle she referred me to the functions.

I said miss this seems like circular reasoning to me

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A Husband and Wife are in their car

while driving thru downtown New York City. The conversation circles around to the topic of which century we are in right now. The husband says we are in the 20th century right now but the wife accurately disagrees and tells him that we are indeed in the 21st century as we are in 2021. An argument er...

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A farmer got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding...

...and the trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speed, and in general began to throw his weight around to try to make the farmer uncomfortable. Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket, and as he was doing that he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his h...

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A teacher teaches class on drug abuse

He walks into the classroom, draws a big circle and a small circle on the blackboard and asks: “What are these?”

As nobody answers, he says:” The big circle is your eye pupil, when you’re clean, and the small circle is your eye pupil, when you’re high! If the police see this, they put you in ...

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What do you call a clip of a circle jerk of 19 guys?

Brovid-19

Mean mommy joke my mom used to tell me

“Mommy mommy I’m tired of running in circles!”

“Shut up or I’ll nail your other foot to the floor!”

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A US Navy cruiser anchored in Mississippi for a week's shore leave. The first evening, the ship's Captain received the following note from the wife of a very wealthy and influential plantation owner:

"Dear Captain, Thursday will be my daughter's Debutante Ball. I would like you to send four well-mannered, handsome, unmarried officers in their formal dress uniforms to attend the dance. They should arrive promptly at 8:00 PM prepared for an evening of polite Southern conversation. They should be e...

I hate those traffic circle thingies when I'm not needing to turn.

It seems straight forward, but it's a really roundabout way of doing things.

Circle measurements.

Now that's rad.

My uncle is a bus driver that circles Big Ben in London ...

he works around the clock.

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What does Star Trek and toilet paper have in common?

They both circle Uranus looking for Klingons.

A policeman pulls over a speeding Ferrari.

He looks through the window and to his annoyance sees a rebellious looking teenager.
The policeman decides he's going to teach this spoiled kid a lesson.
He takes a piece of chalk and draws a circle on the floor.

"Get out of the car and stand in the circle. If I see you step out, I'll...

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A burly sailor gets brought into an infirmary staffed by a bunch of postulate nuns, girls barely 18 preparing to become full nuns, and of course, supervised by a few gruff looking nuns.

Being good Catholics in a small Newfoundland seaside town, such oddities rarely found their way to their front door. The elder nuns insisted that only they would attend to him. The next evening there was a crash and a scream!! The sister ran out the door as fast as she could.

Sister Marry Cla...

How many college degrees did the circle get?

360 °

Why Kim Jong-un has dark circles under eyes?

Because the enemy never sleeps!

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What do you call someone who's attracted to circles?

pi-sexual

Three pastors were discussing how they decide how much of the contribution of believers is allocated to God and to the activities of the church, and how much of it is for their personal benefits.

The first said: “it is simple, I just put everything on the table, close my eyes, and prays. After the prayer, I toss everything in the air, whatever lands on the table is for God, and whatever falls on the floor is for my personal use. The second said: “instead of a table, I draw a circle around ...

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Think you can do better?

A circus came to town, places an ad for an animal trainer in the local paper. Only two applicants showed up, a male and a female. The offer could be for one, so the best performer wins the job.

At first glance it appeared that the female was much better prepared because she came to the inter...

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NFSW A young man had made up his mind to become a lumberjack. So he takes all his tree falling equipment to a lumberjack camp in Quebec.

On his first day he does very well. Keeping up with the other lumberjacks all day.

When the evening meal came, he joined the circle sitting around the campfire, eating the standard
woodsmen's fare; beans & black coffee.

Around the middle of their meal one of the largest lumberj...

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Two young guys appear in court after being arrested for smoking dope.

The judge says, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance instead of jail time.
I want you to go out this weekend and try to convince others of the evils of drug use.
I'll see you back in court Monday.

"On Monday, the judge asks the first guy, "How did you ...

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A man gets pulled over by the police…

And while the officer is questioning the man, the man notices that the officer is being bothered by a fly.

Man: “it looks like you got yourself a circle fly.”

Officer: “Circle fly? I’ve never heard of a circle fly before.”

M: “they’re the flys that circle around a horse’s ass.”<...

Why is it called “the circle of life?”

You can find happiness in every corner.

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My friend does a circle jerk with his friends every year. He hosted their first one 5 years ago, and the one this year is returning back to his place.

He’s really cum full circle

Never invite a circle to a party

They tend to make one-sided conversations.

Why'd they dedicate a traffic circle to Matthew McConaughey?

Because it was all right, all right, all right.

Before I got my life in order I used to host illegal parties and DJ at Stonehenge

But I no longer mix in those circles

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A math professor, Dave, has a problem with his sink so he calls a plumber.

The plumber comes over and quickly fixes the sink. The professor is happy until he gets the bill. He tells the plumber, "How can you charge this much? This is half of my paycheck." But he pays it anyways.

The plumber tells him, "Hey, we are looking for more plumbers. You could become a plumbe...

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You go hiking with your best friend Terry. Both of you get lost, and Terry is mauled to death by a bear.

You bury Terry in a shallow grave and try to find your way back to civilization. However you end up walking in circles and days later, you find yourself at the exact same spot.

By this time, you've exhausted your supply of water and are severely dehydrated. Then you realize that Terry was ...

Did you guys hear the one about the circle?

Yeah. That one really gets a-round.

How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles?

Nail down the other hand.

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The Psychiatrist

A guy goes to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist draws a circle and shows it to him.

"What's this?" asks the psychiatrist.

"A tit," says the guy.

The psychiatrist then draws a square.

"What's this?

"It's a tit," says the guy.

The psychiatrist then draws a tria...

A lot of people in America are obese. However, many people from Harvey Weinstein's circle are in decent shape.

Because they spent so long running from the truth.

I made a joke about disabled people in my friend circle once.

My blind friend just sighed and told me it wasn't funny.

I guess she couldn't see the humor in it.

*Reddit account completes one circle around Reddit's servers*

Redditors: Happy Cake Day!!!

The Seagull and The Octopus

There once was a seagull with sore feet. He had been perching on a seaside railing all day and was starting to get blisters. He had tried going swimming, but the salt water seemed to irritate them and make them worse. He had tried flying, but he soon got so tired that he had to stop. He was in agony...

Why does America keep going in circles

Because they're all about their rights

What are circles?

They’re so pointless..

A group of hikers were being led through the wilderness by a guide.

On the third day, the hikers noticed that they had been travelling in circles.

"We're lost!" One of the men complained. "I thought you said you were the best guide in the United States."

"I am," the guide answered, "but I think we may have wandered into Canada

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There once was a mathematician.

He made it his life’s goal to tackle one of the greatest unsolved calculus problems in history. For months he worked, filling blackboards with numbers and lines, to no avail.

After a year of struggling, he was ready to give up. He pulled out the bottle of wine that was *meant* to toast his s...

I tried to draw a circle, after doing all my calculations, it would never be correct...

Turns out, it was a rounding error

The circle is the most ridiculous shape in the world

There's absolutely no point to it

The Devils goes to Church

The devil went to church one day and upon seeing his red skin, big horns and cloven feet, all of the people ran from the building in terror. All except for one old man near the front. He didn't even budge. The devil was intrigued by the man's apparent disinterest in his hideous appearance. So he str...

Thots are like circles.

Curvy, but pointless.

Its finally my cake day, thank god it isn't a circle.

Else it would be a pi.


Note: I hate to think if this hastily because I am late for my cake day. xd

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The Great Debate

Several centuries ago, the Pope decided that all the Jews had to leave the Vatican. Naturally there was a big uproar from the Jews, so the Pope agreed to debate with a member of their community. If the Jews won, they could stay. If the Pope won, the Jews would leave.

Knowing they had no choic...

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Two rich kids are caught doing drugs by a cop...

The cop recognizes them and tells them: "Since you have parents in high places, I'm gonna offer you a propisition. In 3 days from now, I want to find other teens like yourself and convince them to quit drugs."

3 days have past, and the two come to the officer with their results.

The fi...

I hate it when people draw a circle or an oval...

I mean seriously, it’s pointless.

What do you do when you see a baby spinning in circles?

Stop laughing and untie him from the ceiling fan

My circle of friends is finally expanding

I haven't gained any, we are just standing further apart.

A circle trying to convince a deadbeat dad to attend his son’s game:

“Sir, come for Ence.”

China recently tried to gain favor with the rest of the world by releasing a video of all their native bears, standing in a big circle, to show their repopulation and conservation efforts. Some people thought it was great.

I think it was just panda ring.

A circle is talking to a square.

The circle says: “I only have one side.”

The square then responds with: “What’s your point?”

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A young shark asked his dad, "Why do we always swim circles around people before eating them?"

He replied, "They taste better if you scare the shit out of them first"

Walking in a forest

I was walking through a forest and stumbled across a dead body, I started to check my map, because I was obviously going in circles.

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The 3 ex drug addicts

So 3 ex drug addicts (let's call them Jim, Mike and Bill) volunteered for a week to try to convince as many junkies as possible to ask for help to fight their addiction. They were given by the local authorities 2 photos, one showing a small circle and one showing a big circle and they were told to u...

Why Sharks Circle You Before Attacking...

Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spied survivors of a sunken ship. "Follow me son" the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the Mass of people.

"First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing." And they did.

"Well done, son! Now ...

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My mother taught me...

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm go...

I took a detour on the way home yesterday. Took me through 8 traffic circles,

but it got me where I was going, in a roundabout way.

Distribution of collection money

A pastor, a priest and a rabbi discuss how they split up the collection between themselves and god.

Said the pastor "I draw a circle on the ground, then I throw the money in the air. What falls in the circle is mine, what's outside is god's".

Said the priest "I have a similar method, I...

My life is going in circles and circles...

Apparently, I am watching it from every angle.

Why doesn’t a world of circles exist?

Because it would be pointless

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One in our circle of friends is supposed to be gay.

I hope it's John, he's so cute.

Why did the man put his pennies in a circle?

To make ends meet.

God says to the angel Gabriel: "I'm going to create a land called Canada."

"And Canada will be one of the largest and wealthiest in the world, stretching from the Arctic circle to the Atlantic and Pacific oceans, with breathtaking natural beauty and vast natural resources.

And Canada will have a rich cultural heritage, and its people will be renowned all over the wo...

What did the Polygon say to the Circle when the Circle wanted to be more edgy?

Triangles.

Genghis Khan stumbles across a great palace in Northern China

It was a magnificent golden palace, with beautiful ornaments covering every surface as it towered over the surrounding landscape with its size. The steps leading up to the front entrance were crafted from the finest marble, the pillars holding up the ceiling sculpted with the rarest jade. It was tru...

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In the middle of a summer, Bubba and Billy Ray are fishing in a lake, while a tourist on water skis keeps doing circles around their boat...

Bubba eyes the tourist, and, after a while, mutters:

"That guy sure's scarin' away all them fish with that racket..."

"Sure is," Billy Ray agrees.

"Say," Bubba suggests, "why don't we smack an oar next time he passes us, an' splash him?"

Billy Ray likes the idea, and they...

Did you hear the joke about the circle?

Nevermind. The punchline wasn't straightforward anyways.

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Time is a circle

H: You don't understand. These guys keep popping out of nowhere, in futuristic garb, yelling in some foreign languages i don't understand except for "Berg this and Stein that", trying to kill me. I have no idea whats going on and I'm constantly afraid. It just doesn't stop. They tried to kill me as ...

I don’t like jokes about circles

They have no point

What do you call Bob Ross spinning around in circles at a theatre play?

Aphrodisiac

Why did the shark keep swimming in circles?

It had a nosebleed.

One day a man’s daughters came to him and circled round

“Papa,” said the first one, “why did you name me Lily?”

“Because when you were a baby a pedal from a lily blew in the window and landed on your head,” he said.

“And why did you name me Robin?” the next one asked.

“Because when you were a baby a robin flew in the window and perch...

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"So, Doctor van Helsing, we meet at last," said the Count.

van Helsing turned slowly. The castle library was lit in patches by the bright moonlight spilling through the windows, and otherwise only in a circle of yellow gold by the Dutchman's candle. He had never even heard the door open or a hint of a footfall; and yet there Count Dracula was, less than twe...

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