Colony Jokes - 44 Hilarious Colony Jokes

Two communists are sitting together at a nudist colony.

One turns to the other and asks “Have you read Marx?” The second replies “yes, it’s these damn wicker chairs!”

All groups of animals have unique names: a gaggle of geese, a pod of whales, a colony of ants… so what do you call a group of Karens?

An HOA

I recently joined a nudist colony

The first few days were the hardest.

A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony

On his first day there, he takes off his clothes and starts to wander around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by, and the man immediately gets an erection.

The woman notices his erection, comes over to him and says, 'Did you call for me?'

The man replies, 'No, what do you mean?'

...

Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony?

The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts

Nudist colony

Q- How can you tell the blind guy at a nudist colony?
A- It's not hard.

Q- Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
A- The one carrying a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.

Q- Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony?
A- The one who can eat the la...

How do find the blind man at the nudist colony?

It's not hard.

If Elon Musk's space company establishes a Mars colony, and you have a girlfriend on mars, but later break up because of long distance, she'd be your....

Space x.

My friend asked me if I was ready to go to the nudist colony.

I was born ready.

Did you hear about the girl in the nudist colony?

Nothing looked good on her.

A dwarf was kicked out of a nudist colony

Apparently, he kept sticking his nose in everyones' business.

A hole appeared in the wall around the local nudist colony.

Police are looking into it.

"We Do Not Have A Child Slave Colony On Mars."

They are free to leave the dome whenever they wish.

Did you hear a secret colony of gophers was discovered recently?

They say there was a mole among them.

Did you hear about the luxury resort leper colony?

Apparently it costs an arm and a leg to go there.

Did you know that all frogs decended from a small colony in Poland?

even now they are all born a tad-polish

Did you hear about that colony that got destroyed by the tornadoes?

It was very unsettling.

An ant colony

I was gardening in my backyard. Then I saw an ant colony and blasted water at it. Guess you could call it the sunken city of ant-lantis.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the most popular movie at a nudist colony?

Free Willy

I'm happy with thinking of this myself.

Joey moves to a nudist colony

Joey moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his grandmother asking him to send her a current photo of him in his new location. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half and mails it. The next day he discovers that he had accidentally ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A 60-year-old man goes to a nudist colony for a month. [NSFW]

He walks in and goes to the reception, hands in his clothes and the worker shows him his room.

Not long after there is a gorgeous woman at the door, and he immediately gets an erection.

The woman asks "are you calling for me".

The man says "no, no of course not".

The woma...

I saw a small colony of ants

So, I was in my room and I saw a group of 10 ants just running frantically. I felt bad, so I made a small house for them out of a cardboard box.
This technically makes me their landlord and they are my...

Tenants.

Social distancing at a nudist colony

Is directly influenced by the tempture.
Warm days, 6'3"
Cold days less

The discriminatory ant colony banished all ants over 4 mm tall

They had no taller ants

A man was recruited for a space colony

He had been posted to a planet 14 lightyears from Sol. As his ship landed on the planet's glowing surface, he saw a car waiting for him.

"Welcome to Anti-Earth," The driver said, "don't worry we are going to change the name soon. I am here to take you to your quarters and show you the colony ...

I think the local nudist colony just went out of business.

The sign on their gate says:
"Clothed Until Further Notice."

Last week, I discovered a colony of black ants in my kitchen.

They live in a crack in my kitchen wall.

This kitchen is in the apartment flat I'm renting by myself.

I've counted a total of seven ants crawling out of the crack, and there's presumably one queen inside too.

I know there's a queen because just yesterday, one male ant was gone, ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The nudest colony. NSFW. Long.

A man retired after over 30 years working for the Postal Service.

He decided that he was going to fulfill his lifelong desire to join a nudist colony.

After some research he found a nude beach that fit all of his criteria. On one beautiful Saturday he decided to go and visit. He arrive...

Why was the Amish woman kicked out of her colony?

She slept with two Mennonite.

An ant colony enthusiast goes to a convention

His pride and joy is a colony of giant Amazonian ants, *Dinoponera gigantea,* which he brings along with him to present. But when he gets to the door of the convention hall, he's stopped by one of the organizers, who points to a sign on the wall. It says "all ants must not be more than 1 cm in total...

Whenever an ant gets injured, instead of helping, the rest of the colony just leaves it to die. It’s like the old saying goes:

If an ant broke, dont fix it

What do you call the ant in the colony who trades with other ant colonies for resources?

Import-ant

Growing up in a colony, the nuns told me to never turn your back on a priest.

I mean, there's a reason why they became missionaries.

The nudist colony restaurant was so bad

Even the salad was undressed

My lazy neighbor is retiring and joining a nudist colony...

...he said he just wanted a place where he could hang out.

I went to an all you can eat restaurant at a nudist colony in Canada

It was called In the Buffet

I was constantly praised and flattered by a colony of ants....

It turns out that they were sycophants!

I sometimes do stand-up comedy for a leper colony.

My jokes have them all cracking up.

What do you call the ant that keeps track of all the food in a colony?

A count Ant

What do you call it when rodents invade a beaver colony?

Hamsterdam

How do you spot Ronald McDonald at a nudist colony?

He's the one with the sesame seed buns.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old man checks out the local Nudist Colony to see if he wants to join

The clerk invites him to take a nude, self tour. He agrees and proceeds to go for his tour, completely naked, sporting only his cigar... not five minutes into his stroll he sees a beautifully shaped young lady in the buff which aroused him quickly... the young lady, noticing his erection decides to...

So I heard there's a group of optometrists who founded a colony on an archipelago off the coast of Alaska, but the islands themselves are very weird to look at.

They're called the Optical Aleutians.

Two friends are arguing...

"Look, I have a colony of ants!"

"Well, I have taller ants than you"

"Oh, well I have a tube of glue"

"Hah, I have an entire tin"

"I got bread!"

"Argh, you win! I can't handle that bread with my glue tin 'n' taller ants"

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