I found a dead man's photograph on the ground

Someone shot it

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I found a butt plug on the ground

Some asshole must have dropped it

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Judge, "on what grounds do you want a divorce?"

Husband "my wife is out all night, every night! From bar to bar, almost visits all the bars and pubs in town every fucking day!!"

Judge "You mean to say she's severely Alcoholic and cheats on you everyday?"

Husband "No, She's out looking for Me!!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A mom grounds her son for a month and tells the dad

Dad: what did he do for you to ground him for so long
Mom: he called me a bitch
Dad: that son of a bitch.

Police arrested two men trespassing on grounds of the local town hall, after searching them the found battery acid and fire works.

They charged one, and let the other off.

A man goes to the Optician for his eye test.

The Optician asked him what he can see.
"I see empty airports, empty football grounds, closed theaters and closed pubs."
That's perfect says the Optician, you've got 2020 vision!

A woman says to her lawyer "I want to divorce my husband."

‟On what grounds?”

‟Grounds? We have two acres at the edge of town with a big lawn and some fruit trees.”

‟No, that's not what I meant. Do you have a grudge?”

‟Yes, we've a two car garage but only one car so we use the rest for storage.”

^(getting exasperated) ‟Does he be...

My sister gave me some of her homemade exfoliating genital scrub to try. Made with 100% Arabica coffee grounds.

I said I hope it doesn't keep me up all night.

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