This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

I found a butt plug on the ground

Some asshole must have dropped it

I found a dead man's photograph on the ground

Someone shot it

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

Judge, "on what grounds do you want a divorce?"

Husband "my wife is out all night, every night! From bar to bar, almost visits all the bars and pubs in town every fucking day!!"

Judge "You mean to say she's severely Alcoholic and cheats on you everyday?"

Husband "No, She's out looking for Me!!"

A student was standing at the edge of the roof of his school and was about jump off and commit suicide.

Suddenly from the school grounds his physics teacher yells to him, "Don't jump, you've got lots of potential!"

The definition of chutzpah:

Is the man who killed his parents who asks for mercy from the court.
The judge asks β€œOn what grounds should we grant you mercy?”
Man β€œOn the account of I’m an orphan!”

This is a very old one.
#yiddish is fun

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

Allison was bragging to her boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."

Tired of her, boasting, her boss called her bluff, "OK, Allison, how about Reese Witherspoon?"

"No dramas boss, Reese and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So Allison and her boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Reese Witherspoon's door, and Reese Witherspoo shouts,

"Allison! W...

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

A mom grounds her son for a month and tells the dad

Dad: what did he do for you to ground him for so long
Mom: he called me a bitch
Dad: that son of a bitch.

A hot mug of divorce

My wife said yesterday that she's almost out of coffee beans. I said "Well I guess that's it, instant coffee for you from here on out."

She asked me "How about divorce from here on out"?

I said "C'MON, that's what you're going to cite as grounds for divorce?"

The monk joke (Long)

A millionaire decides that it's a lovely day to take his new plane out for the day, a couple hours into his flight he begins to have trouble so decides he will land on a small island off in the distance

When he lands he is greeted by several monks who welcome him with open arms and take him o...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.