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Dr. Oz says rubbing coffee grounds on your naked body helps prevent cellulite.

Apparently you can’t do it in Starbucks.

And now the cops are here…..

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"

She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by."

"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?...

I saw a lady protesting at the capital grounds with a sign that read " vaccines contain aborted fetus' "

I couldn't believe it, how can she be protesting something like that I thought.

I marched right up to her and said "you think that's bad? Johnson and Johnson makes organic baby oil"

A monk was selling flowers on the Playboy mansion grounds and no one but Hef could get him to leave...

Only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

What is it called when baristas try to unionize?

Grounds for termination

Good reason for a divorce?

A woman says to her lawyer "I want to divorce my husband."

‟On what grounds?”

‟Grounds? We have a couple of acres outside the town, but it does have a big lawn and some fruit trees so it's not like empty ground."

‟No, that's not what I meant. Do you have a grudge?”

‟Yes, ...

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Dave was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."

Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?"

"No dramas boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and Tom Cruise shouts,

"Dave! What's happening? Great to see yo...

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I found a butt plug on the ground

Some asshole must have dropped it

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A mom grounds her son for a month and tells the dad

Dad: what did he do for you to ground him for so long
Mom: he called me a bitch
Dad: that son of a bitch.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend of 6 years broke up with me on the grounds that I'm an "emotionally stunted, unfeeling, uncaring piece of shit".

I don't know how I feel about this.

What did the selfish beaver say to the deer that asked him to help stop the flooding affecting her grazing grounds?

Frankly, my deer, I don't give a dam.

Police arrested two men trespassing on grounds of the local town hall, after searching them the found battery acid and fire works.

They charged one, and let the other off.

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A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl

Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well. One day he rushed into a lawyer's office, and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and this conversation ensued: "Have you any grounds?" Yes, an ...

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