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Renting Jokes

I spent all my cash renting a limo and it didn't come with a driver.

Wasted all that money and nothing to chauffeur it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I am currently renting a really crappy furnished apartment.

All the appliances suck.

Except the vacuum cleaner.

Why do strip malls love renting space to Chinese restaurants?

Because they’re lo mein tenants.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How does hitler go about renting a car?

He heirs one

I’ve decided to make a living renting out my two pet ferrets for events.

I’m a small business owner.

Renting a dirty video

A blonde decides to do something she"s never done before - rent a dirty movie. She drives to the local Video Warehouse and makes here way to the adult section in the back.

After looking around at titles, she selects a something that sounds very stimulating.She drives home, lights some candles...

A Soldier I was renting a house to did a runner

And owes me 6 months rent. He said he was a General but I've since discovered he is a Left Tenant.

What does a pirate call renting cheap accomodation?

Arr'Bnb.

I was going to open a business renting out blow up bouncy castles...

I was going to open a business renting out blow up bouncy castles, but I've heard that the IRS doesn't like it when you inflate your assets.

I once shared renting a property with a man from the army...

...I took the right half, and he was the left tenant.

A father thought of surprisingly paying a visit to his son at his apartment he was renting, he came to know that....

his son was renting the place alongwith a girl, he gave his son 'the look' and his son clarified that it's not what he thinks and they're just housemates.
The father didn't say anything and he asked if he could crash for one more day and both the boy and the girl were fine with it.
Next day he...

For some reason, I have a hard time renting trailers.

I never seem to pull it off without a hitch.

I’m moving to North Carolina and I think I’m going to buy a house instead of renting

I hear the market is flooded right now

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