What do you guys think of my idea to abstain from working with spreadsheets for 40 days before Easter?

Because personally, I think it's Excel Lent.

I'm not just good at making spreadsheets.

I Excel at it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do 40 year old virgins type their spreadsheets?

Incels.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bud the Cowboy

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new 2019 AUDI advanced towards him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man named Cliff in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked...

My family all makes fun of me for having a low-paying job filling in spreadsheets

But I like having a job where I can Excel.

In life when you start to Excel

People start to spreadsheet.

An accountant opens up their spreadsheet, only to find all the numbers missing. Their cat is sitting by the desk, looking smug.

I dont know why they're so suprised, cats are good at knocking things off tables.

When an accountant excells

Their coworker will start to spreadsheet about them

I have to give up spreadsheets for forty days.

Excellent.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I've been making extra money on the side by creating erotic spreadsheets...

I don't feel great about it, but what can I say?

sExcels

Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer.

They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering.

Finally God said, "Cool it. I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job."

So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. Th...

I have a spreadsheet wherein I track all the chocolate toffee bars I've eaten.

It's my Heath ledger.

To determine once and for all whose superior, God sets Satan and Jesus up with a little contest.

“You will have 12 hours to do the most mundane human task ever,” God starts, “work on a computer! You will create spreadsheets and documents and the like. I will crown the winner!”

With that, Jesus and Satan furiously begin typing away. God keeps their coffee full and rubs their shoulders to ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So Jesus and Satan get in an Excel spreadsheet competition...

One day in Heaven, Jesus and Satan are bickering nonstop about which of them is better than the other. "I'm better than you in every way!" says Satan. "No, I’m Earth’s savior. Clearly, I'm the best," says Jesus. After long enough, God can't take listening to them arguing anymore and says “ENOUGH! We...

Looking for Office help..

So they put a sign in the window, that read:

HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer

A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did one horny tax accountant say to the other?

Let's climb into bed and spreadsheets

Microsoft

Boss : How good are you at making spreadsheet?

Me : I excel at it

Boss : Was that a Microsoft office pun?

Me : word

Over the last few weeks i've been collecting details about my life and adding them to spreadsheet on my computer.

I've really exelled myself.

Why did the spreadsheets get divorced?

They just couldn't sort things out.

Microsoft has developed a special version of the Halo 3 rendering engine which can run within LibreOffice Calc spreadsheets...

It's called Halo3.**ods**t

Jesus and Satan were arguing about who was better with computers...

Jesus and Satan were arguing about who was better with computers, when they decided to see for sure by having a contest. Whoever could demonstrate greater skill, as judged by God, would be deemed the winner. So the two sat down at their computers and began typing, furiously creating spreadsheets, da...

Jesus and Satan's tech battle

One day, both Jesus and Satan got into an argument over who was better at computers. This debate lasted for so long that God decided to step in and declare a contest - each would compete against the other in a series of computer-related tasks to determine computer superiority once and for all. God w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dog Day Afternoon

Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs were. One was
an engineer, the second man was an accountant, the third was a
chemist, and the fourth was a government worker.

To show off, the engineer called to his dog, "T-Square" do your
stuff!" T-Square trotted over to a desk, t...

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