What do you guys think of my idea to abstain from working with spreadsheets for 40 days before Easter?

Because personally, I think it's Excel Lent.

I'm not just good at making spreadsheets.

I Excel at it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do 40 year old virgins type their spreadsheets?

Incels.

What do humans and spreadsheets have in common?

They're all made of cells.

I have to give up spreadsheets for forty days.

Excellent.

My family all makes fun of me for having a low-paying job filling in spreadsheets

But I like having a job where I can Excel.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bud and the Politician

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So Jesus and Satan get in an Excel spreadsheet competition...

One day in Heaven, Jesus and Satan are bickering nonstop about which of them is better than the other. "I'm better than you in every way!" says Satan. "No, I’m Earth’s savior. Clearly, I'm the best," says Jesus. After long enough, God can't take listening to them arguing anymore and says “ENOUGH! We...

An accountant opens up their spreadsheet, only to find all the numbers missing. Their cat is sitting by the desk, looking smug.

I dont know why they're so suprised, cats are good at knocking things off tables.

Every time I get a new girlfriend, I measure how far she can open her legs

I keep all the results on a spreadsheet

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I've been making extra money on the side by creating erotic spreadsheets...

I don't feel great about it, but what can I say?

sExcels

A guy offered to document my life in Microsoft Excel, but I said no.

I don’t want him to spreadsheet about me.

I have a spreadsheet wherein I track all the chocolate toffee bars I've eaten.

It's my Heath ledger.

Boss: How good are you with spreadsheets?

Me: I Excel at it.

Boss: Did you just make a Microsoft Office pun?

Me: Word

Next year I'll give up spreadsheets for 40 days and 40 nights...

It's going to be Excel Lent

Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer.

They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering.

Finally God said, "Cool it. I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job."

So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. Th...

Over the last few weeks i've been collecting details about my life and adding them to spreadsheet on my computer.

I've really exelled myself.

Why did the spreadsheets get divorced?

They just couldn't sort things out.

When you excel in life...

People start to spreadsheet about you.
.
.
.
.
(I'll show myself out).

Looking for Office help..

So they put a sign in the window, that read:

HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer

A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist ...

Microsoft has developed a special version of the Halo 3 rendering engine which can run within LibreOffice Calc spreadsheets...

It's called Halo3.**ods**t

To determine once and for all whose superior, God sets Satan and Jesus up with a little contest.

“You will have 12 hours to do the most mundane human task ever,” God starts, “work on a computer! You will create spreadsheets and documents and the like. I will crown the winner!”

With that, Jesus and Satan furiously begin typing away. God keeps their coffee full and rubs their shoulders to ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did one horny tax accountant say to the other?

Let's climb into bed and spreadsheets

Jesus and Satan were arguing about who was better with computers...

Jesus and Satan were arguing about who was better with computers, when they decided to see for sure by having a contest. Whoever could demonstrate greater skill, as judged by God, would be deemed the winner. So the two sat down at their computers and began typing, furiously creating spreadsheets, da...

Jesus and Satan's tech battle

One day, both Jesus and Satan got into an argument over who was better at computers. This debate lasted for so long that God decided to step in and declare a contest - each would compete against the other in a series of computer-related tasks to determine computer superiority once and for all. God w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Workers and Cats

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats are. The first man was an engineer, the second man was an accountant, the third man was a chemist and the fourth man was a government worker. To show off, the engineer called his cat, "T-square, do your stuff." T-square pranced over to a desk, took o...

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