Computer Science Jokes

Cyber boolean

...was writing a note to his crush before lecture. The student next to him grabbed the note.
The first student tried to grab it back. “You can’t see that, it’s private!”
The second student protested, “But we’re in the same class”

A helicopter with a pilot and a single passenger was flying
around above Seattle when a malfunction disabled all of the
aircraft's navigation and communications equipment.

Due to the darkness and haze, the pilot could not determine the
helicopter's position and course to get back to ... read more

His father says: "so how have your classes been going?"

The son replies: "not bad. I did really well on my test on hexadecimal today! It was only worth fifteen points, but I'm still happy about it."

"Oh yeah? What grade did you get?"

"An F!"

Otherwise, charmander would evolve into stringmander.

But it makes my mother board

Because they didn't have enough cache!

(Computer Science nerds unite! This is my original joke, I originally posted it on Imgflip last year with bad pun dog and it got a decent response.)

A professor is teaching computer science 101 and gets to the topic of recursion, but after reading his prepared notes, one of his students seems particularly perplexed and questions the teacher.

"I don't understand, you said a recursive algorithm one that calls itself?" The student asks.
<... read more

Not one bit.

“You’ll never believe this,” he said, “I was walking across campus and this beautiful blonde on a bike stopped, threw down her bike, tore off all her clothes and said _take whatever you want!_”

His buddy stared at him blankly for a minute, then said “smart. Her clothes would have never fit yo... read more

0: Naming things
1: Cache invalidation
2: Off by one errors

Because they are pro-grammers.

The Professor says "Welcome to English 101".

The student panicks.

"What's wrong?" asks the Professor.

"I missed the first 4 English classes".

cout << "Dracula";

A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, “Where’d you get that?”'

The student on the bike replies, “While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, ‘You c... read more

After I got my PhD, she introduced me to friends by saying, *“This is my daughter. She's a doctor, but not the kind who helps people.”*

...and shouts "your money or your life!"

The student keeps walking, and says "Sorry mate, I'm a Computer Science student. I don't have either".

When learning vowels, it's only sometimes "why?"

Before long you’ll be coughing and hacking.

My school has very strict policies regarding eight-speech.

Professor replies: oh yes, for sure, computer science did help me in my life. One day I'd get my socks from the laundry and they were all mixed up in a big pile of socks. But then I remembered that I knew QuickSort and sorted them in O(n log n) time.

as I thought it would be so cool to have a large snake round my neck as I drink coffee.

Biology: squishy physics
Geology: slow physics
Computer Science: virtual physics
Psychology: people physics
Chemistry: impure physics
Math: physics minus the units

"Well, to be perfectly honest, it did take him a couple bytes."

the odds might be good. but the goods are odd

Now I'm stuck writing Al Gore Rhythms.

The students search feverishly, to no avail

"4:04 teacher not found"

I have a joke about a gym trainer, but I have to warm up before I tell it.

I have a joke about the IT department, but you have to put in a ticket before i can tell you.

I have a joke on aerospace engineering, but I don't think it will fly.

I have a joke on LinkedIn, but I'm not ... read more

... she can flatten a binary tree in O(1).

... but has this habit of looking up whenever he does heavy calculation. He is a third-year student in a university, major in Computer Science. And he works part time in a convenient store near his uni. He doesn’t speak much on his part time job, but he is honest, hard working, and is well mannered ... read more

Daedalus, the famous Greek architect and inventor, was relaxing in his home in the Blessed Isles of the Underworld when Hades, the Lord of Death himself, came to him with a favor.

"Listen, Daedalus," Hades began. "You know how the population of the dead here increase every year? The Underworl... read more

So I put on a ten gallon hat and and chaps and he went to MIT and graduated in computer science.

Engineering students are allowed to call themselves engineers, and someone like a computer science student has no trouble using it as a title, but fine art students can't call themselves baristas.

An Annapolis computer science major was given an artificial intelligence assignment for one of his classes. He ended up creating a program where you could have a conversation with your computer based on your IQ level.

To test his program he entered 80 and had a conversation with his Soap Ope... read more

Because they're all 0's and 1's