UPJOKE
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They developed a computer program to write the musical version of "An Inconvenient Truth"

It's running a new Al Gore rhythm.

I wrote a computer program to draw pictures of flowers

But now it's just drawing the same flower over and over and over and over...

It must be a lupin.

What is incels favorite computer program?

AutoCHAD.

A computer program required 8 bits of memory

A computer program required 8 bits of memory but the programmer mistakenly allocated space for a 64 bit integer instead

They then tried to rectify the issue by declaring a second 64 bit integer but this didn't have the desired effect

Two longs don't make a byte

What is the most commonly used computer programming language?

Profanity.

What do you call a computer program that writes a blues song about climate change?

An Al-Gore-rhythm!

Got a B in my computer programming class

Call that a C++

How does a Jedi exit a computer program?

He Force quits.

I used to date computer programs but that's over now

My girlfriend still worries that I may go back but I reply to her "they're just exes "

God judges Satan vs Jesus in computer programming war.

God tells Satan and Jesus they are supposed to create the perfect computer program.

Satan starts off strong and within the first fifteen minutes has the rough architecture of his program figured out and designed.

30 minutes in and Satan is cruising along. Satan is getting all the laye...

Im thinking about studying computer programming next year...

So i can C# in 2020

I almost bought a huge library out of old computer programming books...

...but the ascii price was way too high.

There are only two certain things in computer programming life...

death and syntax (end).

Murphy's Laws of Computing.

1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.

2. When you get to the point when you really understand your computer, it's probably obselete.

3. The first place to look for information, is in the section of the manual where you least expect to find it....

A husband and wife who own a circus walk into an adoption agency looking to adopt a child.

"Are you sure the circus is the best place for a child?" asks the social worker. "I mean, all those dangerous animals, the constant traveling..."

"The animals are trained," says the wife. "And we have a state-of-the-art 55-foot motorhome equipped with a large nursery."

"How will you ed...

There once was a job application form

There once was a job application form that said: “help wanted! Looking for people that are bilingual, able to make a computer program and able to make a robot!”, which a street dog was staring at, and it entered the building. The dog then enters the interviewing room and sits on the chair. The inter...

Einstein famously said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

But doing the same thing over and over again and actually getting a different result - that's called Computer Programming.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Best Computer Science Joke!

A man and woman are in a computer programming lecture. The man touches the woman's breasts.
"Hey!" she says. "Those are private!"
The man says, "But we're in the same class!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Switched Inputs

For a computer programming class, I sat directly across from someone, and our computers were facing away from each other. A few minutes into the class, she got up to leave the room. I reached between our computers and switched the inputs for the keyboards. She came back and started typing and immedi...

The Final Battle of Jesus and Satan

It's not well known but the final battle between Jesus and Satan is actually a computer programming battle. Armageddon arrives and the battle begins. Jesus and Satan are both tasked with the most complicated programming task ever given. This is the type of task even Linus Torvalds would declare i...

Jesus and Satan are having an argument about who is the better computer programmer.

This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest with God as the judge. They set themselves before their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight.

Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt...

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