The Farmer was careful to monitor the ratio of roosters to chickens

He was trying to control ova population.

Lord Nelson was 5ft 6 inches. His statue is 17ft 4 inches.

That’s Horatio of 3:1.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In 1940 Goebbels made a speech...

Proclaiming that the Swastika was an example of the Golden Ratio.

Turns out it was a fibbin' Nazi...

What's the ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter?

Eskimo pi.

What movie aspect ratio do cats prefer?

Litterbox.

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There was a group of 1940s German mathematicians...

They told the world they had discovered the perfect ratio of plutonium to uranium in order to create fuel capable of space travel. They said it was simple, two parts plutonium, one part uranium. However, the rest of Europe didn't believe them because they were a bunch of fibbinazis.

There are two kittens sitting on a steep roof. Which one falls off first?

the one with the smallest *mu*

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**Preemptive explanation:**

Coefficient of friction. The coefficient of friction (COF), often symbolized by the Greek letter µ (pronounced *mew*), is a dimensionless scalar value which describes the...

I don't know why men go to bars to meet women...

They should be going to Target. The female to male ratio is 10 to 1 and they're already looking for things they don't need.

A physicist, an engineer and a mathematician are given the task to contain the largest amount of area with a limited amount of fence.

The physicist designs a square fence, showing that a square contains the most area.

The Engineer then designs a circular fence, showing that the area to circumference ratio is better than a square.

The mathematician think for a moment, then starts building a tiny fence around himself. ...

Little Billy loved to visit at his uncle’s junkyard

Even though he ran a junkyard, uncle Stu was a very bright man who loved to teach and answer all of his beloved nephew Billy’s questions. Over one particular summer they restored a classic old car. Each step was a learning experience. When a part was rusted, uncle Stu would explain all about the pro...

An inspiring true story about my friend's grandmother.

I'd like to tell you a little-known, but inspiring and true story that involves my friend Jake's grandmother.

Her name was Erica. She lived a typical grandmother life, knitting, spoiling her grandchildren and puttering around.

But despite having lived a full life before retiring, she w...

An Indian man and Einstein

Are on a flight, Einstein makes a bet with the man sitting next to him.
"I will give you 500 dollars if you can ask me a question I don't know the answer to,however, if you cannot answer my question you must give me 5 bucks."
The man thinks it about 5:500 seems like a good ratio so he says sur...

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New weights and measures

1. The ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi

2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton

3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope

4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond

5. Weight an evangelist carries with Go...

You know what grinds my gears?

Improper gear ratios and speed differences.

What does a female filmmaker look for in a guy?

His "ass-pec ratio".

How to make the world a better place.

How do you raise the literacy rate while simultaneously lowering the poverty ratio of a town near you?

All you have to do is drive as fast as possible through the Walmart parking lot.

Why did Jesus lose his Halo?

Nobody wanted to play on his team any longer after he had a 0 and 2 kill/death ratio and it took him 3 days to respawn.

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