Ratio Jokes

Chicken pot pi

So an average man weighing 200lbs only needs a 4 inch D to be hung like a horse.

Be proud fellas

It wanted to get a tan

It's really irrational.

He was trying to control ova population.

If I make more money, I'll eat less ramen.

And if I make any less money, I'll also eat less ramen.

Go to target instead. The female to male ratio is 10-1 and they’re already looking for things they don’t need.

Is undefined!

That’s Horatio of 3:1.

The mathematician says "pi is the ratio of a circumference to its diameter".

The physicist says "pi is 3.1415"

The engineer says "it's about 3"

The fence is required to contain as much land as possible for the least amount of fence material.

The engineer says "easy, just make a circular fence"

The physicist says, "wait a second! If you build the fence across the equator you'll have an even higher area/fence ratio!"

The ... read more

was technically the highest ratio of killing birds to one stone

5 out of 4 people don't understand ratios...

That’s almost a three to Juan ratio.

Because the teacher said they will be learning about Ratios.

Nobody got hurt, but the chemist responsible is the laughing stock of his group.

We use a lot of helium in the military, that's why when there's a shortage you can't get it for balloons - it's being stockpiled by the DOD. We use it to stabilize a variety of substances for storage.

On... read more

I guess you could say all of his tweets were golden ratioed.

the one with the smallest *mu*

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**Preemptive explanation:**

Coefficient of friction. The coefficient of friction (COF), often symbolized by the Greek letter µ (pronounced *mew*), is a dimensionless scalar value which describes the... read more

Of both crows and ducks, of which the ratio is 80% ducks and 20% crows?

A murder most fowl.

An elderly German couple that own a butcher shop are minding the store one day, selling all sorts of meats and sausages when in walks a man with a bird under his arm.
The shopkeeper asks the man if he can help him and the man says "Yes, I would like to trade this bird for a few of your famous s... read more

His "ass-pec ratio".

Einstein told him that he is a great scientists from Germany. Einstein tells him

"I’ll ask you a question and if you’re not able to answer it, you will give me 5$, then you’ll ask me a question and if I’m not able to answer then I will give you 500$.”

The man thinks 5$ : 500$ seems l... read more

Nobody wanted to play on his team any longer after he had a 0 and 2 kill/death ratio and it took him 3 days to respawn.

I'd like to tell you a little-known, but inspiring and true story that involves my friend Jake's grandmother.

Her name was Erica. She lived a typical grandmother life, knitting, spoiling her grandchildren and puttering around.

But despite having lived a full life before retiring, she w... read more

How do you raise the literacy rate while simultaneously lowering the poverty ratio of a town near you?

All you have to do is drive as fast as possible through the Walmart parking lot.

She was very excited about her interview but wanted to make sure that this business was progressive when it came to women in the workplace. It seemed like every company she interviewed at were run by horrible misogynists. When it came to the part of the interview when he asked her if she had any que... read more

A Statistician, Engineer and Physicist go to the horse track.

Each have their system for betting on the winner and they're sure of it.


After the race is over, the Statistician wanders into the nearby bar, defeated. He notices the Engineer, sits down next to him, and begins lamentin... read more