Causation vs. Correlation

Me: I used to think correlation implied causation

Me: But then I took a statistics class and now I don't

Friend: Sounds like the class helped!

Me: Well, maybe

Is there a correlation between the size of a nose and the sense of smell?

Because I read somewhere that back in World War II people with big noses smelled gas much more often.

TIL that a controversial study found strong positive correlation between intelligence and physical traits including genital size in men

You thought this was a different sub didn't you

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Not saying there is a direct correlation between Trump's election...

But the Chinese did say this would be the year of the Cock ages ago!

An objective analysis of the correlation between genetics and obesity.

A doctor is telling an obese woman that she needs to start losing weight.

The woman, offended, replies defensively, "It's not my fault! Obesity runs in my family!"

The doctor looks her up and down, and finally says, "*Nobody* runs in your family."

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Haircut/Sex Correlation Jesus Joke

I got that I looked like Jesus a lot when I had longer hair. It's a shame because I got a haircut and have been getting nailed less than the messiah lately.

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Two anti vaxxers die and arrive at thepearly gates..

St.Peter gives them two options " Get one question answered by God himself and go to hell or go to heaven blissfully" .

The first one chooses not to ask any questions but the second one decides to take a chance .

He goes inside the golden gates and asks God " what is the correlation be...

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The Sex Professor

A professor gave a lecture to a room of university students, entitled "The Correlation Between Sex and Happiness".

He was determined to try out his theory with a simple test, and so asked any students who had sex once a week to stand up. Those who did laughed sheepishly or giggled, and the p...

A student is going through some hypotheticals about snakes to their biology teacher

student:"What if it bites me and it dies?"

Teacher:"that means you’re poisonous."

Student:"What if it bites itself and I die?"

Teacher:"It’s voodoo."

Student:"What if it bites me and someone else dies?"

Teacher:"That’s correlation, not causation."

Student:"w...

My ex told me we broke up because I'm too reliant on logic and refuse to acknowledge my emotions.

I told her, correlation is not causation.

A man named Eric Cole...

... discovered that there was a direct correlation between the amount of mayonnaise on his cabbage salad and how good it tastes.
He's calling this correlation Cole's Law.

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So i thought i was good at math...

An old man at work today asked me if I was good at math, I answered yes. He then claimed that there was an imaginary fence of which a black rooster sat upon. He proceeded to ask me simple questions about this rooster;

Man: "how many feet are on the fence?"
Me: "2."
Man: "good, how many...

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I work at a vet. Recently a patient had one of it's toes removed, and I've noticed that he has become more of a dick.

Do you think that there is a actual correlation, or am I just lack-toes-intolerant?

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A joke told to me by my psychology professor...

I'll start by letting you know the backstory to this. It was the first day of class and my professor was giving a brief overview of physiological studies and theories. He then went into a very long description of a supposed psychologist who studied the training of dolphins and it went something like...

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A family of four sits down to dinner.

The son is fifteen years old and the daughter is thirteen. The mother is a school teacher and the father is an obstetrician. They say a quick prayer, and start eating.

The father starts telling his wife about an interesting new study he was reading about, suggesting a surprisingly strong corr...

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