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If a stork is the bird that brings babies, then what is the bird that prevents babies?

A swallow

Scientists just invented a new pill that prevents dehydration

All you have to do is take it twice a day with a glass of water

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The results of a 3-year trial for a drug that prevents diabetes are in.

A scientist walks into his boss's office to brief him on the results.

"How did you conduct this study?" asked the boss,

"We gave a group of 300 participants our drug, at 3 doses a day, and another 300 a placebo. We then found the number of people in each group who had diabetes." replie...

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Doing your homework prevents embarrassment.

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "Which human body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?" No one answered until little Mary stood up, indignant, and said, "You should not be asking 6th graders a question like that! I'm going to tell my parents, and they will...

What has 125 teeth and prevents a savage beast from escaping?

My zipper.

What do you call a Tide Pod that prevents war?

A nuclear detergent

Deep sleep prevents aging.

Especially when you are driving.

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Reality

Letter from Daughter to Parents

Dear Mother and Dad:

It has now been three months since I left for college. I have been remiss in writing this and I am very sorry for my thoughtlessness in not having written before. I will bring you up to date now, but before you read on,please sit d...

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A lonely man goes to the doctor for a stuttering problem that prevents him from talking to girls

The doctor agrees to do a full psychological and physical workup to find out whats wrong. After several test the doctor says to the patient "You won't believe this, but you've got a 15 inch penis and it's so big the weight of it puts tension on all the muscles in the center of your body right up to ...

Deep freeze prevents things go bad

And my mother in law definitely showed signs of going bad, officer.

It was a logical thing to do.

I put on one of those things that prevents me from ever having children.

A shell suit.

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A detachment of US Marines are conducting jungle warfare training in the Congo, and one night around the campfire, the Congolese troops they're training with tell the Marines the tale of a cave in the middle of the jungle, filled with golden treasure but guarded by a fearsome monster.

According to the local soldiers, the cave is filled with the treasures of an ancient African king, but a sorcerer used his arcane powers to create an unholy creature to guard it. She was formed from a mix of human, gorilla, chimpanzee, and baboon, and stands seven feet tall, enormously strong. She h...

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