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Obstruct Jokes

Beaver 1: “Sir, the river is running at full capacity with no obstruction!”

Beaver 2: “Dammit!”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation. Suddenly, a woman eating a sandwich at a nearby table begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.

One of the hillbillies looks at her and says: "Kin ya swallar?"The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks: "Kin ya breathe?"The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.

The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers, and quickly gives her right butt...

My girlfriend said she'd leave me if I couldn't find a twelve letter word that means "obstructive".

I think it's unreasonable.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The ship stuck in the Suez should be named in honor of Mitch McConnell.

It's big, full of crap, and obstructing everything in its path.

A man comes to see a urologist...

"When is your earliest urination in the day and how regular is it"? - the doctor asks him.


"Every day, at exactly 8:00, I urinate" - the man responds.

"That's good. How about defecation? Any obstruction"?


"Every day, at exactly 8:10, I defecate, without any obstructions ...

My dad said he'd disown me if I didn't know a twelve letter synonym for "obstructive".

That's unreasonable.

We had to rush my father to the hospital, because -- h cld nly tlk lk ths.

Apparently he had a vowel obstruction.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three nuns are waiting in their monastery, each equally as tired and sweaty in the mid-summer heat

One of the nuns offers to disrobe, which the other two agree upon, seeing the brutal sun. Each of them stand nude in the empty cathedral, doing their daily duties until a knock is heard upon the door.

"Wardrobe man." Says the man, and the first nun repentantly opens the door. The man, unable ...

Women who wear yoga pants...

Are like barb wire fence. They keep the yard safe without obstructing the view.

Trump 2020!

20 for obstruction, 20 for treason

In the year 2010, the Lord came unto Noah and said:

“Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flash before me.
Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans."

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dr. Watson is performing an autopsy. Holmes ask if he’s found the cause of death.

Watson: It would appear the decedent had a bowel obstruction. It caused a rupture in the intestinal wall, creating a septic condition and ultimately, death.

Holmes: Wait, John, are you saying he died of...

Watson: No Shit, Sherlock.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

...constipated blonde

**Doctor:** ...whats the problem?

**blonde:** ...I have constipation, I believe it's an obstruction.

**Doctor:** ...OK take your clothes off, lay on the couch on to your left side bring your knees up to your chest whilst l take a peek!

...*the doctor examines her and coughs*! ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

While eating at their favorite diner, two Texans hear an awful choking sound.

They turn around to see a lady turning blue.


The first Texan rises, hitches up his jeans and walks over to the lady.

He asks, "Can you breathe?" She shakes her head no.

"Can you speak?" he asks. She again shakes her head no.


With that, he helps her to her feet, ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife was choking at dinner, so I flipped her over the table, pulled her knickers down and stuck my tongue up her arse.

The shock made her spit out the obstruction and breathe again.

Thank god I knew the hind-lick manoeuvre!

A National Geographic journalist visits a remote village...

...on an unexplored, untouched island in the South Pacific. He is welcomed by the villagers with open arms, and a great feast in his honor is given. All the villagers and the journalist eat their fill until they cannot possibly take another bite. The journalist retires to a bed the villagers prepare...

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