They said being blind would hinder my chances of becoming a comedian.

I don't see them laughing now.

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The DEA search an old man's farm.

A DEA agent rolls up to a farm and speaks to the old farmer: "Sir we have received an anonymous tip off that you may be storing illegal drugs on your property. I have a warrant here to search your entire farm."

The farmer replies: "This is outrageous! I'm just a poor old man trying to earn a ...

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A businessman is going out of town for 3 weeks...

His wife is a total nympho and he knows that she will never be able to remain faithful for that long. In an attempt to quell her sexual appetite, he goes to a sex shop on the outskirts of town. He spends several minutes pouring over dozens of dildos, dongs, vibrators, and other toys. However, he kno...

A swindler Passes by a bird in the stairwell of an appartment building

The swindler was headed upstairs to visit his friend, the forger. The bird he passed along the way was the forger's homing vulture, which was en route to the forger's publisher to make a delivery. Unfortunately, the poor bird had to fly down the stairwell to ground level and out the open terrace sin...

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A man with a stutter goes to the doctor

A man goes to the doctor to consult regarding his stutter.

 
**Man:** "D-d-d-doctor, have the re-re-re-results come back yet about the source of my st-st-st-stutter?"

 
**Doctor:** "Yes, after extensive examination, I have determined that the reason for your s...

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Guy applies for a job as a Prison Officer

The interviewer says Hello, can I offer you a coffee before we start?"
The guy says "No thanks, I don't drink coffee.
The interviewer asks "Is there anything about you that would hinder your ability to do your job?"
The guy says "I have no testicles, I lost them in Kabul, but this should...

A Jewish couple are having trouble teaching their son math.

They try several schools and tutors, and his math scores remain abysmal. Eventually, there's only one school left in town. It's a Catholic school, and the Jewish parents are uneasy about sending their son. But, after looking at the school's amazing academic records, they decide it would be selfish t...

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Three Pastors go fishing...

Three pastors go on a fishing trip. One pastor pipes up and says,

"Hey, I trust you fellas, what do you say to sharing our biggest fault and try to help each other? I'll go first, I'm really addicted to masturbating. I do it all I can every time I can and it's starting to hinder my love life ...

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