This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do doctors recommend avoiding sexual contact with the ears

Hearing Aids

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Starting today I will be completely avoiding German porn.

I just want to train myself to have a Hans-free orgasm.

Are you good at avoiding clickbait titles?

Apparently not.

Do you know the one step to avoiding clickbait?

Obviously not.

gg y'all, inbox = rekt

The United States appears to be successfully avoiding a second wave

By keeping the first wave going

A young blonde fears that her boyfriend is seeing another girl... One day, the girl is visiting her boyfriend's apartment for lunch and stumbles across another woman's discarded garments on his bedroom floor.

After sitting coolly through the meal, avoiding eye contact, she quietly excuses herself without explanation. She is incredibly hurt, and on her way home finds herself in a local gun shop, purchasing a handgun. The next day she awakens with renewed vengeance for her lover's betrayal. She dresses and...

Day 1: Staying home, avoiding social gatherings and eating food in my room

Day 50: Continuing with this process

Day 100: Still feeling okay

Day 2500: Now a global virus has arrived and others are doing what i do.

Why is Roy Moore avoiding COVID-19?

He’d much rather catch COVID-16.

Ever since I got my left leg amputated, every girl has been avoiding me.

I got into a car accident a few years back and had my left leg amputated. Getting used to balancing myself on 1 leg and crutches took a lot of time. I felt that without my precious left leg, i would never be the same.

My confidence dropped severely, and the passion i had for all the things i ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The man saw a woman standing sheepishly in the corner, avoiding his gaze. He could tell she had butterflies in her stomach as he walked over to her. He took her by the hand, and led her to the door.

Saying "YOU ARE HEREBY BANNED FROM THE BUTTERFLY EXHIBIT YOU SICK FUCK!"

People keep avoiding me because they think I'm a heartless murderer, but I do have a heart.

Well, 28 to be exact.

Two blind pilots enter a plane.

They have sunglasses and white sticks. As the plane starts to move, the passengers are uncomfortable. The plane gains speed, but it stays on the ground. The remaining runway gets smaller and smaller, and the plane is rushing towards a fence.

The passengers start shrieking and suddenly the pla...

I wouldn't say that I'm avoiding commitment . . .

but I wouldn't say that I'm not.

I've been avoiding this guy who lost all his toes in a freak knife accident.

When he asked me why, I told him its because I'm lack toes intolerant.

Everyone is on Trump for avoiding the WWI Memorial because of rain, but it was really Melania who didn’t want to go.

She doesn’t remember what it’s like to be wet.

I walked in on my son making out with his girlfriend. "Oh, woah, what's this?" I asked. He's been avoiding me ever since...

... and keeps mumbling something about me being a "furry"

Avoiding click-bait is impossible.

My point exactly.

My doctor told me to start avoiding trans fats

So I stopped going on tumblr

I have a super easy way to see how good you are at avoiding click bait.

Turns out you are terrible at it..

A man, who believes in avoiding doctors and hospitals at all cost, had to have emergency surgery for an inflamed appendix.

In pain, but still protesting the whole idea of an operation, he muttered,

"When God gave man an appendix, there must have been a reason for putting it there, am I right?"

"Oh there was," said the surgeon.

"God gave you that appendix so I could put my kids through university."

What do you call a traffic avoiding droid?

R2-detour

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