Predators Jokes - 33 Hilarious Predators Jokes

The swordfish has no natural predators to fear from...

....except the penfish, which is supposed to be even mightier.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Let’s have illegal aliens hunt down sex offenders for a chance at citizenship.

We’ll call it “Aliens vs. Predators”

If America is storming Area 51 then the Europeans can storm the Vatican

We’ll take the aliens, you get the predators

Why do predators avoid the 100 Acre Wood?

They don't want to eat Pooh.

Why do koi fish travel in groups of four?

To protect the group from predators. When attacked, kois A, B, and C will go in one direction. The fourth one is the D koi.

why are child predators good people?

they drive slow in the school zone

If there were ever a war between forest predators and space travellers, I’d pick the forest predators.

Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

How does honeysuckle avoid predators?

Invasive maneuvers.

How does a mollusk hide from predators?

Clamouflage

I really love cute night predators

They're adorabowl !

I've decided to save money on cat food by getting a bird bath.

Don't @ me. Predators and water go together in nature. Alligators and swamps. Sharks and oceans. Catholic priests and baptism fonts.

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There's 30 sexual predators that live near me

So why do we always have to meet at my place?

Interestingly enough, scientists have discovered a fascinating new species of frog, named the “Romulan Pond Frog” that has an amazing way of evading predators.

In the press release, scientists showed footage of the frogs using a special call that appeared to disorient predators, leaving them unable to precisely locate the frogs.

Scientists are calling this special call a "croaking device."

Little known fact- the sword fish has few predators to worry about in the wild... except

for the rarely seen Penfish which is said to be even mightier.

What do you call a collection of information about oceanic predators?

Sharkives.

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Research has shown therapists can easily become the sexual predators.

It's only a matter of space.

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A Nashville man dies and goes to hell.

When he gets there, the devil comes over to welcome him. The devil then says, “Sometimes it gets pretty uncomfortable down here.”

The man says, “No problem. I’m from Nashville.”

So the devil goes over to the thermostat, turns the temperature up to 100, and the humidity up to 80. He the...

I left my front door open and my Roomba got out, and now I can't find it. What are the consequences of this? It has no natural predators...

Nature abhors a vacuum

A basketball team is created in Area 51 and for the inaugural match they decide to play against the Vatican.

How do they call the event? Aliens vs Predators

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What do Mike Tyson and Johnny Depp have in common?

They’ve both had predators shit the bed.

Squirrels ww

Three buildings in town were overrun by squirrels—the town hall, the hardware store, and the church.

The town hall brought in some cats. But after they tore up all the files, the mayor got rid of the predators, and soon the squirrels were back.

The hardware store humanely trapped the ...

Dead Crows

During a review of accident statistics, it was noticed that one particular intersection in Boston had an inordinately high number of dead crows, presumably killed by motor vehicle strikes. Further study revealed the oddity that in every case, the dead crow had been killed by a truck—never a passenge...

What’s the worst sports team name for a Catholic high school?

The Predators

What does Reddit and Apex have in common?

Predators.

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So we, humans, have eyes on the front of our heads...

... meaning we’re predators. We also have the desire for sexual contact. Meaning we’re all technically sexual predators.

Now I’m just registered...

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Two dogs are sitting in a field.

First dog turns to the second dog and says damn man you smell like shit! Have you been rolling in shit?

Yep.

Wow. That is foul. Is it like a compulsive behavior?

Nope.

Do you do it to cover your scent up, like to ward off predators?

Nope.

Is it some weird ...

I think now that we've meemed and raided area 51, we should also raid the Vatican so we can compare...

We could call it Aliens vs Predators

David Attenborough (Planet Earth Narrator) went to church

He wished to observe the predators up close in their natural habitat.

Why are mountains so old and so large?

It's because they have no natural predators

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Comedy is pretty much the new rock and roll,

In the sense that there are multiple unprosecuted sexual predators

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Grammar Nazis should be locked up!

There textual predators!

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What do R. Kelly fans and Mormons have in common?

They both defend sexual predators.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the difference between sexy and sexual?

You don’t hear of sexy predators.

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