The Swordfish has no natural predators...

....Except the Penfish, which is supposed to be even mightier.

Dead Crows

During a review of accident statistics, it was noticed that one particular intersection in Boston had an inordinately high number of dead crows, presumably killed by motor vehicle strikes. Further study revealed the oddity that in every case, the dead crow had been killed by a truck—never a passenge...

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Aliens Vs Predators

This is where you can have your illegal immigrants chase and hunt down sex offenders for a chance at citizenship

why are child predators good people?

they drive slow in the school zone

If there were ever a war between forest predators and space travellers, I’d pick the forest predators.

Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

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A Nashville man dies and goes to hell.

When he gets there, the devil comes over to welcome him. The devil then says, “Sometimes it gets pretty uncomfortable down here.”

The man says, “No problem. I’m from Nashville.”

So the devil goes over to the thermostat, turns the temperature up to 100, and the humidity up to 80. He the...

If America is storming Area 51 then the Europeans can storm the Vatican

We’ll take the aliens, you get the predators

How does honeysuckle avoid predators?

Invasive maneuvers.

What does Reddit and Apex have in common?

Predators.

Little known fact- the sword fish has few predators to worry about in the wild... except

for the rarely seen Penfish which is said to be even mightier.

What do you call a collection of information about oceanic predators?

Sharkives.

I left my front door open and my Roomba got out, and now I can't find it. What are the consequences of this? It has no natural predators...

Nature abhors a vacuum

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There's 30 sexual predators that live near me

So why do we always have to meet at my place?

I really love cute night predators

They're adorabowl !

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Research has shown therapists can easily become the sexual predators.

It's only a matter of space.

Dad joke about zebras

Zebras are striped for protection against predators, when they all stand together in a group the stripes make it difficult to distinguish where one zebra begins and one zebra ends, making it harder for the lions to tell how many and how big they are. Idk about you but it’s pretty black and white to ...

David Attenborough (Planet Earth Narrator) went to church

He wished to observe the predators up close in their natural habitat.

A turtle walks into a bar...

A turtle walks into a bar. He sits down and gets ready to order. The bartender goes, "You're looking a little GREEN there friend, need some Ginger Ale?" Everyone started laughing. The turtle confused replied with, "No thanks, I'll just take some whiskey." The bartender gets him his drink and says, "...

I think now that we've meemed and raided area 51, we should also raid the Vatican so we can compare...

We could call it Aliens vs Predators

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So we, humans, have eyes on the front of our heads...

... meaning we’re predators. We also have the desire for sexual contact. Meaning we’re all technically sexual predators.



Now I’m just registered...

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Comedy is pretty much the new rock and roll,

In the sense that there are multiple unprosecuted sexual predators

Christers

Three buildings in town were overrun by squirrels—the town hall, the hardware store, and the church. The town hall brought in some cats. But after they tore up all the files, the mayor got rid of the predators, and soon the squirrels were back.
The hardware store humanely trapped the squirrels an...

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Hygiene was an issue at the farm

John, the farmer was an old man who couldn't tend to his farm any more. His children had left for the city for greener pastures.
Few years back his wife passed away of old age.

Seeing the farm in neglect, all the domesticed animals on the farm called for an urgent meeting.

The cow, ...

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A man and a small sword are both under arrest for sexual misconduct

A detective/ interviewer is being brought to the two sexual predators who are both in separate rooms. First he goes to the room with the man. The man is not constrained and is sitting on a chair. The detective peaks in the window to the room and asks the officer "What exactly did he do?" the officer...

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